Chapter 14

Memo from Aytuzi Finance Company Head Office to area representative Stephen Rook.
2 April

Steve,

Thank you for your memo of 25 March. I am upset by your comments concerning my efforts to guard your rear. I did what I thought right, and it is hardly fair on your part to accuse me of allowing myself to be outwitted by our chief about the small matter of your drinking binge with Cedric King. You know as well as I do that A2 is as cunning as a family of foxes. Indeed, I sometimes wonder why he didn’t take up detective work, as he would have run rings around the likes of Philip Marlowe. Anyway, next time I think of mounting my white charger on your behalf, I shall remember this correspondence.

I did not mean to be offensive in speaking of A2’s not suffering fools gladly. For goodness sake, Steve, that was just a turn of phrase. I begin to wonder whether your susceptibilities are a little too delicate for a field worker. Naturally, I have not mentioned this to A2. By the way – well, not incidentally as far as you are concerned – he isn’t contemplating termination of your services. Notwithstanding your obvious ingratitude with regard to my other efforts to defend you, I interceded and was able to prevail upon the chief in that respect. Bearing in mind your current psychological state, I am not holding my breath for applause.

Let us focus on our true problem, which is the Cedric King matter. There is still time for you to fully redeem yourself – sorry, but facts are facts – by nailing down perhaps the trickiest borrower we have ever had. Go to it!

Brian

From:
Cedric King
Poplar House
Halfpenny Lane
Little Chinfold
3 April

To:
Aytuzi Finance Company
Unit 3, White Horse Yard
Newton Godfrey

For the attention of Brian Bodkin

Dear Brian,

Thank you for your letter of 31 March – my, how time is passing. I was most upset to learn of the near-emergency concerning little Adam. So nice to hear that it was a false alarm. Apart from a sister I visit once a year, I have no family, my parents having perished in a tragic accident. It is ironic that I am already an orphan, and that if you were to have your way, I would soon be a homeless one. There was a Mrs King – we had no children – but the union ended in a manner that would have shattered a lesser man than me. I do not dwell upon the past, but recall that my ex-wife several times mentioned my unreliability as a provider. Can you imagine that, Brian? When I bestride the world, as I shall, she will rue her impetuosity.

You speak of our urgent environmental problems, yet you do not draw the obvious inference, namely that our prosaic affairs are almost too insignificant to mention. Of course I am aware of the points you raise. Could you doubt this? I did not wish to burden you with these considerations, as they will be overshadowed – no, let me be accurate, sidelined – by my imminent revelations in the field of nuclear energy.

Brian, I do have hope for you, but it is dependent upon your making the leap of consciousness to get beyond this plane. You will not rest easy on a higher level if you try to lug this kind of burden with you. Bear in mind that although we can take nothing material with us when we go, there is no restriction upon the intellectual/spiritual storehouse we can carry, as that baggage is massless. Please try to grapple with this deeper understanding of reality.

I am mildly entertained to hear about your computer’s failure to acquaint you with the current position regarding my account. Perhaps this is schadenfreude (no capital s in the anglicised version, but this is probably a wee bit too subtle for you, eh?) on my part and unworthy of me. In times gone by, these transactions were recorded in ledgers, which did not rely on semi-conscious key-tappers – can’t you hear the quills screeching? Anyway, if you continue to have difficulties, I will keep you abreast of the position.

It is strange to think that I am on the verge of presenting enormous benefits to humankind, while you are wallowing in minutiae. Still, we are all at different stages of development, and I plead guilty to being ahead of the crowd. Well, Copernicus and Galileo were in the same position and were much vilified, but finally recognised as mental giants. Incidentally, you will possibly recall that they were pilloried by the clerics. Events such as those lead me to believe that the sooner we stamp out religion and seek genuine belief, the happier and better-balanced we shall be. You may disagree – I have you marked down as a United Reformed type – and if so, please favour me with your views.

As for your comments about the taxi driver saying that this ‘heap of trash’ was all the life we have, I saw the film – its title escapes me – so am further persuaded that beneath the scummed surface of our intercourse, we are on the same wavelength. It is inordinately difficult to get this point through to you, but I will persevere.

Aunt Ethel continues to slip into and out of consciousness and/or clarity. There are times when I come close to despairing of a favourable result here. When lucid, the crone hates me and when befuddled, she becomes maudlin. You will understand that my position is not an enviable one. Still, I bear up and remain hopeful that all will work out right. I remember reading one of Damon Runyon’s wonderful little tales, in which a doctor – I think his name was Samuel B. Venus – remarked that not enough people know when to die. Get what I mean?