Life is good up in these hills; very good, or at leastwise 'twas until they passed that pesky gun law. That's when they durn robbed us of our guns. They even took my gran-pappy's gran-pappy's Kentucky rifle that he used on the British Redcoats. I told them 'twas more like a family heirloom, but still they took it. Said if I liked, it could go into some museum where I could still look at it. There ain't no museum within fifty miles, so what the hell!

They even took the guns off of the Pooh-lice. Now, what do you think of that? All they have now are those pesky taser things. Getting shot with one of those ain't no fun, I can tell ya!

All we got left fer hunting are catapults, or bows and arrers. There's even bin talk about takin' our bows and arrers. What is the world a'comin to? How's a man to feed his family if he can't shoot critters and what's feudin goin to come to? Them high and mighty politicians in Washington haven't thought of that! Have they?

Before they stole our rifles, feudin' was a civilized affair. By that, I mean that one family would creep up on another so they was within rifle shot and loose of fa few rounds at their friends' house. Rarely did any harm. Only if yer was dead unlucky.

With bows and arrers, you have to get a mite closer. It gives the others a chance to fire back and yer much more likely to get hit. Agin, a bullet was usually going to pass straight through yer. Arrers stick. Yer goin' to do more harm to yerself pulling it out.

Now what about moonshine? Once you could keep them revenooers well away from yer still with a few random shots in the woods. Bows and arrers aint the dee-terrant that a rifle shot was. Yer have ter almost graze them bods. If yer don't, they just don't notice. If yer caint make moonshine, yer customers are goin to be disappointed. And, moreover, yer income is goin to drop into the cellar. Then the tax inspectors are goin to go short. It jest aint patriotic.

They say that if the city-zens don't have guns, then the crazies who just go on a shootin spree can't loose their cool. What about knives or even forks. Then agin, what about when someone in the army goes berserk. I tell yer, they jest aint thought this thing through.

Edited by TeNderLoin

Authors Note

I had intended adding a Blog as an explanation to this tale. It was to include a table showing some facts that I had unearthed. Unfortunately you can not put a Table into a blog, so I tried to repost the tale with a note at the end containing the table. Unfortunately, that didn't work either. I have, however reposted my blog as straight text. I hope it makes sense!

normist.