30 August 2019 version

Author’s Note

These stories were originally written as entries in a competition to write a funny story with an unexpected ending in less than one hundred words.

Put it In

She commanded, “Put it in.”

The reluctant twelve year old boy says “But mum.”

She replies, “Put it in, all the way in. Good boy, now move it back and forth. Faster, much faster.”

He’s already going as fast as he dared, he speeds up.

Smiling, she says “Very good, now you know how to brush your teeth properly.”

The Driver

The fourteen year old boy is sitting in the driver’s seat, the engine’s screaming through the gears; easily drowning out the sound of the police siren. There’s a sharp curve leading onto the bridge. He shifts down gears, stomps the throttle, pulling the wheel sharply to the left as he enters the turn, cutting the corner.

He loses control, the car spins, it flies off the road into the ravine. He screams in pain caused by the violent blow to his head.

His mother says, “This how you waste my hard earned money, on arcade games?” She slaps him again.

Don’t put it in

The eight year old girl looks at her father with tears in her eyes. She begs, “Please don’t stick that in me daddy, its so big. I’m sure it’ll hurt a lot.”

With sorrowful eyes he says, “I’m sorry, but I must. This is for your own good.”

The girl screams in horror and pain when her father, the town’s only doctor, slides the tetanus needle into her arm.

Getting Clean

Loren is laying there naked, sweating profusely, her heart pounding, the wood of the seat rough on her bare back. There’s nothing she can do, not until he comes. When will he come, he must come soon.

Thank heaven’s! He’s coming, now.

She hears the attendant say, “Hurry up, Doc, she’s having a heart attack in the sauna.”

Bedroom Encounter

Feeling in a playful mood he goes looking for her. He can’t find her. Thinking hard he heads for the bedroom. He’s right, she’s lying on top of the covers, on her back, legs spread wide, and asleep.

Carefully, quietly, he creeps into the room. Slowly, gently, he climbs onto the bed. He climbs up the bed until his mouth is near her right ear.

With a loud ‘woof’ Rusty scares Muffin and races out of the room before the cat has returned to the bed. She takes off after the dog, intent on revenge.