99 First Dates

Thanks to my Editors, especially Dowd, Dragonsweb, Sue, Ulf25 and other assorted Advance Readers!

Author's Forward:

Honestly, I'm not sure how to describe this story ... if it even is a real story. In this tale I've poked a lot of fun at various semi (or very) dysfunctional women I have met, known or heard vague rumors about, and I'm fairly sure a quite similar stories could be crafted concerning the horrible first dates that women have had with rather odd men. So if this story offends anyone, I might as well start off by apologizing now ... it is quite unintentional.

The theme of the story concerns a collection of horrific first dates all shoe horned into one tidy and very snarky story. For a couple of years I've collected awful first date stories from friends and acquaintances on various message boards were I lurk or actively participate, or from near total strangers during on-line game chat. On the other hand I'm also a writer and reserve the right to utterly make up wild-ass shit when real life wasn't quite humorous enough. The 'True' story code may also apply to some/most/nearly this entire story.

Your mileage may vary.

Note: the story has been recently updated (gently) just to correct a few lingering typos and tame the story down a bit from its original posting on SOL.

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