Chapter 3

Posted: December 01, 2009 - 08:02:33 am

While waiting to go to the table, Robert said, “We will assume a standard chaperoned meal date seating configuration at the table.”

“There’s a standard chaperoned meal date seating configuration?” Jared asked thinking it might be a good idea to turn around and leave.

“Yes, I will be seated at the head of the table. You will be seated to my right with Mercedes to your right. Karen will be seated to my left with Timmy to her left,” Robert answered.

“Where did Mercedes go?” Jared asked noticing for the first time that the little girl was nowhere to be seen.

“She went ahead to the table to deliver the contracts for Karen to sign. Karen and Timmy will review them before she signs them. If all goes according to plan, we will be taken to the table any minute now,” Robert answered.

“I guess that makes sense to me,” Jared said. This whole contractual dating thing was just a little weird. At least they had picked a good place for lunch. “I’ve eaten here before. This is a nice place and they have really great food.”

“My cousin Niles owns it. He’s an O’Toole,” Robert said.

“I’ve heard that you have a big family,” Jared said trying to make a little small talk.

Robert grinned and said, “It is getting bigger every day. Shelly O’Connor had a baby girl yesterday. We’re expecting Laura Connor to have a baby today or tomorrow.”

“I heard that there is a Donaldson born every week,” Jared said. He was getting the idea that having a lot of kids was a big deal to this family.

“You’ve got that right,” Robert said. “I’ve got two kids already and we’re working on making a third. We hope to have a dozen all told.”

“Good luck,” Jared said.

“Cousin Niles.”

“Cousin Robert! I’m glad to see you’re back from Afghanistan.”

“Thanks,” Robert said.

“Have you got the little lady pregnant again?” Niles asked.

“I’ve only been back a week, but we’re working on it,” Robert said. “We had a kickboxing session last night that ended up with us on the floor going at it like minks.”

“Kickboxing?” Jared mumbled.

“You ought to try it in a kitchen sometime,” Niles said with a wink. “You’ve never had fun until you’ve covered her in chocolate sauce.”

“That sounds better,” Jared mumbled. He wondered whatever happened to lingerie in a bedroom.

Robert laughed and said, “The only things you’ve got in there that will turn on my little lady are knives.”

“Knives?”

“Something must be working in the kitchen. We’ve got eight kids,” Niles said. He knew that Robert was telling the truth about what would excite his wife.

“Maybe we’ll give it a try,” Robert said with a grin. “You’ll have to clear out the kitchen though. It is never safe to have innocent bystanders around when Ables are engaging in foreplay.”

“I’ll take you to the table,” Niles said with a laugh.

After Robert and Jared were seated at the table, Mercedes leaned over and whispered, “Timmy has been very aggressive. He used our delay in getting over here as an indicator that you aren’t really interested in Karen. She’s gotten a little cool on the idea of continuing negotiations. I suggest that you respond with a direct declaration of your interest in arranging a merger with Karen.”

Jared smiled at Mercedes before turning his full attention to Karen. Thinking about how everyone mentioned children, he said, “I fear that we were delayed because I kept imagining you and I growing old together surrounded by a dozen children and a hundred grandchildren. It made reading the contract rather difficult.”

Timmy frowned while quickly flipping through the pages of the contract. He said, “That’s got to be a violation of something.”

“It isn’t,” Mercedes said with a smile.

Karen grinned and said, “So you want a dozen children?”

“Only with you,” Jared said.

Timmy leaned over and whispered something to Karen. She grinned and then undid a button on her blouse. Mercedes leaned over and whispered, “Timmy is trying to get you distracted so that you say something inappropriate. He wants to set the mating phase of the negotiation process back a couple of dates. Be careful.”

“It is August,” Jared said.

Everyone looked at him like he had really blown it. Thinking this was a variation of discussing weather, Karen said, “Yes it is.”

“I would like to conclude the negotiations for merger by the end of September,” Jared said.

Karen looked surprised and asked, “Which phase of negotiations?”

“All,” Jared answered. Timmy was flipping through pages of the contracts trying to find something that could stop this line of discussion. “You are so sexy, smart, and talented as a lawyer that only an idiot wouldn’t want to enter into a full partnership with you.”

“Stop right now! You’re talking partnership on the first date. We haven’t gotten to the financial discovery phase of negotiations. There can’t be talk of a full partnership until after a complete financial disclosure has been made by both parties,” Timmy said pointing to a copy of the contract.

Mercedes said, “He’s right. You’re going to have to stop discussing that subject right now.”

Karen undid another button on her blouse. A considerable amount of her lacey bra was now on display. Timmy didn’t even bother to whisper when he said, “You’re moving too fast.”

Mercedes leaned over and whispered, “You’re getting to her or else she’s trying to distract you. She just undid a second date button.”

“One particular image keeps flashing in my mind,” Jared said.

Karen licked her lips and asked, “What image?”

“You and I are arguing a case in front of the Supreme Court. Points and counterpoints are exchanged with our opponents for hours on end. Caught up in the excitement of the moment, the judges start arguing law. They nearly come to blows while exchanging opinions on cases supporting and attacking our positions. Together we focus our efforts; the judges succumb to our arguments; and a new constitutional precedent is established without deliberation,” Jared said.

Sitting up with a concerned look on his face, Timmy said, “Whoa, you’re good.”

“I’ve never heard anything so romantic,” Mercedes said with a sigh.

Karen’s eyes glazed over. She fanned herself and said, “I think I had an orgasm.”

Jared leaned forward and said, “So tell me about your dreams.”

Mercedes said, “Yes!”

“This is a disaster,” Timmy said.

“You and me on the floor of the law library downtown,” Karen said breathlessly.

Before Timmy or Mercedes had a chance to say a word, Niles showed up at the table. He asked, “Are you ready to order or should I come back a little later?”