Chapter 9

After the debacle at the cookout, I spent the next few days at home, not really wanting to go out. Part of me wanted to go talk to Orville about what Evan and his friends were up to, even though I knew there wasn’t much he could do without proof. I knew it shouldn’t, but it really annoyed me that Evan had assumed I’d be on board with their bullshit. He knew my dad and how he felt about some of the stuff the company pulled, so I couldn’t imagine why he’d think I’d be okay with it, especially since I’d been a cop.

Apparently, Evan still saw me as the jackass I was back in high school, which was as much a judgment of my character as it was of Evan’s judgment. All of which meant that even after two days, I was still in a bad mood as I made my way down the stairs for breakfast.

At least the actual walking down the stairs was easier. Although I’d been planning on just using the one crutch, mostly because I was stubborn, Mom had gone out the day before and picked up a cane for me to use. While I’d probably never mention it to her, it did make going up and down the stairs so much easier.

“Still moping?” Mom asked as I grabbed a bowl and box of cereal out of the kitchen.

“I’m not moping,” I said.

“You’ve barely said two words to anyone since you went and saw that Farmer boy. You’re a grown man, so I’ve let you be, but if you want to keep acting like a teenager, I can start treating you like one.”

I let out a sigh as I lowered myself into a chair. She was right, I was being a little moody, but between still being at loose ends and the thing with Evan, I felt more and more trapped in an echo of my youth, and I hated it.

“Do you think it’s time to start thinking about a job?” Mom asked, taking the cereal box from me and pouring some into her own bowl.

“I have been. They should start doing interviews in about a month.”

“I know, but that’s not what I meant. Even if you get one of those, you won’t be able to start until the end of the summer, and it costs quite a bit to move to a new city. I know you aren’t spending a lot of your severance, but it might be nice to have some extra money set aside, for when that time comes. Besides, you’re miserable just wandering the town every day or sitting on the porch. You were always someone who needed to be doing something. This isn’t healthy for you.”

“I’m not sure they’re going to let me go work in the mines while I’m using a crutch. Besides, who’s going to want to hire a guy who’ll just leave in a couple of months?”

“I wasn’t thinking about you working in the mines. You’d probably hate that more than you hate doing nothing. You know Orville’s looking for another deputy to replace the man he lost a few months ago.”

“Lost?” I asked, my spoon stopping halfway to my mouth.

“Not lost, not like that, I mean. Trevor Dawson, he was from Rainelle and a few years older than you, so I don’t think you ever knew him, got a better job offer to go work in Lexington a few months before you got here, and Orville’s been short-staffed ever since then. Last time I spoke to his mother, she mentioned how frustrated he was getting that they hadn’t been able to find a good candidate to replace Trevor. Apparently it’s hard to attract someone who didn’t grow up here to work at such a small sheriff’s office.”

“I can imagine, but I hated being a cop, mostly. Why would I ever want to go back to that?”

“You hated being a police officer in the city. People there are so indifferent. No one knows anyone and everyone’s just out for themselves. People are different around here.”

“I’m not so sure they’re all that much different,” I said, thinking again about Evan and his friends.

“Maybe not, but it would still be less impersonal. You know Orville and Albert are good men. You should think about it. He wouldn’t have to train you all that much and I’m sure he’d appreciate the help even if it was only for a few months.”

“The leg would still be a problem. It’s not like I could chase down a bad guy using a cane,” I said, holding up my cane.

“I’m not sure how much chasing down people you’d have to do, but it was just a suggestion. I thought you might like to get out and start doing something, especially since I also heard about an apartment that is being sublet starting the end of June.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“No. I love having you here, although I’d probably love it more if you were less moody; but I also know it isn’t making you happy. I know you think I’m kind of clueless, but I can see how unhappy you are. I know the last few months have been really hard on you and coming here has made it worse. You’re just like your father. You can both be so proud sometimes, so I know having to come live with us while you recover has been very difficult. I don’t want to see you being so completely miserable, and I think being independent again will help.”

“I appreciate it, but I really do need to save my money. Deposits and things are going to be expensive and there will be a gap between when I have to move and when I get my first paycheck. I don’t think I can afford to have my own place right now.”

“Which is why I was suggesting you get a job. I’m not saying you have to do it and you can stay with us as long as you need to, but I want to see you happy again.”

Working for Orville did not sound like something I wanted to do, but I did like the idea of living on my own again. She was right that having to stay here with them was slowly wearing on me. I just couldn’t see a way to do it without eating too much into my savings or getting a job, and I couldn’t see how I could get a job that would hire me for only a few months and be okay with me being a gimp.

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

She gave me a look that said she didn’t believe me, but at least she let it drop.

“Talking about Dad, did he already go to work?”

Although Dad usually left pretty early, he wasn’t quiet about it and I could usually hear him when he was getting ready in the morning. Either I’d been really deep asleep or he’d been extremely quiet today, which would be unusual for him.

“No, he had to go up to Summersville to get some tests run.”

She tried to make it sound nonchalant, but I could hear the worry in her voice.

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know, although he says it’s just a precaution. Doctor Thompson wanted him to get some tests done after his last chest x-rays came in.”

Although not something normal for most checkups, Doctor Thompson gave most of the guys working in the mine chest x-rays every time they came in for a physical, because of concerns about black lung. I knew Dad had been coughing a lot lately, but if it was bad enough for the doctor to send him to Summersville for more testing, that was more than just taking a precaution.

“Is he okay?” I asked, making eye contact with Mom to make sure she knew I was asking for real.

“I don’t know,” she said, her eyes welling up. “He’s been having trouble breathing at night and Doctor Thompson said something about a machine to help him breathe while he was sleeping. I’m really worried about him.”

I nodded, trying to keep my face mostly neutral. Mom was really struggling, and I hadn’t realized it until just now. I’d been so focused on my own problems I hadn’t seen how bad Dad’s illness was getting or how much it was affecting Mom. That did explain why she was so keen to find me an apartment and a job. Whenever she was upset about something, she always seemed to find it easier to focus on someone else’s problems than her own.

I also knew she really didn’t want to talk about Dad. Just admitting how bad it was had almost brought her to tears.

“I think you’re right,” I said, changing the subject. “I do need to get off my butt and start doing something. Give me the info on the apartment and I’ll think about talking to Orville.”

I could see the tension in her shoulders release a bit as the subject changed and she could pretend for a little longer that everything was going to be okay.

“Good. Did I tell you I spoke with Judy and...”

Released from talking about anything serious, Mom was back into gossip mode, where she felt the most comfortable. Normally, I’d tune her out, giving the occasional mumbled ‘uh-huh,’ but this time I listened. Not initially, since the gossip was still extremely boring, but enough to ask the occasional question so she could move to the next juicy detail she wanted to spill.