Chapter 5

The holiday season was fast approaching. Halloween had been a bit of a trial. Mom had insisted on the trick or treat thing. I wasn’t quite sure if that was a good idea. I knew that the word had been spread around that I might be dangerous or crazy. Part of that was the Stockdale kid and his dad. But Mom wanted to do this, so I finally agreed but refused to participate. Instead, I would spend the evening in my room.

The day after, Mom was quiet and seemed to be moody. When I asked her about it, she wouldn’t talk about it. I later learned that the kids that normally came calling on Halloween had refused to come to our house. Instead, their parents came to the door for their kid’s treats. When Mom asked them why they all had the same answer. I was the boogieman, and their kids were scared of me.

While Mom was unhappy about what had happened, she still went about her normal business.

The next big holiday on the list was Thanksgiving. This had always been a big event in our family. My brother would bring his family over, and both sisters would gather their broods and fly in from back east. They would stay at the family home. There was plenty of room for their families.

Problems started soon after Halloween. My sisters suggested that perhaps Mom would like to come east for the holidays. She could split the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas with Ellen and Susan.

Ellen’s husband was a civil engineer for Massachusetts and made very good money. Enough so that Ellen could be a stay at home mother for their two kids.

Susan’s husband was a successful psychiatrist in Boston. Susan was a paralegal for a fairly large law firm. They didn’t have any kids but assured Mom that they had plenty of room for her. When I asked if they had enough room for me, they started hemming and hawing. It was obvious that the invitation did not extend to me.

I knew there was an even bigger problem when my brother showed up right after Halloween. Mom was at work, and it was just George and me. “Jimmy, I’m worried about Mom.”

“Why, what’s going on?”

“Well, basically, it’s you. Susan and Ellen are worried about your health, your mental health.”

“George, come on, You KNOW I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Mom or anyone else. Is this coming from Susan’s husband? I know he’s a pretty rabid liberal. He’s made his opinions very clear about the war in Iraq. I have the feeling that he isn’t a very big fan of the military in general either.”

George was sitting in Dad’s old recliner. He leaned forward and clasped his hands. “See, Jimmy, That’s the thing. We all know that you have changed. That the Marines and Iraq did something to you.”

This was beginning to irritate me. I had never been violent towards Mom, George, or anyone else. “Baloney, I’m the same person I was before, just older. Like you and the others, I’ve aged, gotten more mature.”

“See, that’s part of what I’m talking about, Jimmy. Used to be, you wouldn’t fly off the handle like this.”

I stared at George for a minute. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “George, what in the hell are you talking about? I’m not ‘flying off the handle.’ Granted, what your saying is pissing me off, but it would make anybody mad.”

“Jimmy, if you’re going to be like this, I’ll have to leave.” George stood and started towards the door.

“Wait, George, Hang on a minute.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “What is it you want from me? How can I make things right by you?”

“The girls and I have talked about it. We think that it would be best, best for Mom and you if you moved out. Got a room or something in town. Or maybe even a different city, Say Seattle or Olympia. Or even better, Spokane. You could even consider San Francisco or LA. I’ll bet the VA resources are even better in those places.”

“Have you considered what mom feels about this? have you talked to her? Does she want me to move out?”

“No, I haven’t talked to her about this. She’s your mother, of course, she would want you to stay. But we have to remember that this is for her own good. And yours too.”

“C’mon, George, you know, and Mom knows that I’m not dangerous. But, for some reason, everybody else seems to think I’m a time bomb waiting to go off. I don’t know who is spreading these lies. But now you tell me that Ellen and Susan are afraid of me. I’m beginning to have the feeling that you are involved in all this. Is there any truth to that?”

“See, Jimmy, that’s the thing. It’s this paranoia that you have. Thinking that the neighbors, cops, and now, me, are after you. What possible reason would all those people, with no connection to each other, have against you?”