Chapter 26

The mystery of the dinner hadn’t yet been solved by the next day when I picked Paige up for the morning workout. She took it easy as she was tired from what she said was a late night talking to her mom and a further strategy session. School went about like normal – on the way home I was informed that I had been excused from that night’s duel with Louis and Janelle. I was happy to hear that, as the mere thought of those people was beginning to make my skin crawl. I made sure Paige was safely in her house and then sought refuge at my own home.

Evie took pity on me on Wednesday, opting to escort her daughter to the dinner with the Goddards in my place. She also pointed out to us that they had probably made arrangements to keep me occupied while they went to work on Paige with the young Mr. Chance. I was promised as I dropped Paige off after school that they would stop in to see me and Dad later that night.

So, Dad and I made our own supper and, as usual, ate too much. I was getting to be a good cook, both of us enjoying the fruits of the tutelage I was receiving from both grandmas and Mrs. Emerson. We were sitting around after dinner and cleanup, feeling our stomachs and reminiscing about our summer exercises. Dad had almost come to the conclusion that he needed to do something more than sit and eat and enjoy the media room when the doorbell rang and we were joined by Paige and her mother.

We all got comfortable in the family room where we heard a recitation of the evening’s antics from Evie. She had been right in her assumptions about her former in-laws, simply telling Dad and me that there had been a young woman with Chance tonight. Paige glared at me throughout the telling, which made me gather that what should have been my dinner companion from the Goddard perspective must have been quite something. Evie of course noticed the glares I was receiving and had fun with the situation.

When things had finally settled down between the four of us, Evie confessed that she still didn’t know what the plans were, but that the grandparents seemed intent on separating their granddaughter from both her and me for some reason.

“Enough about us though,” Evie stated in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood. “What did the two of you end up doing this evening?”

Dad smiled, “Ate, sat around, got fat, and then tried to figure out how to combat that.”

Paige piped up. “If it weren’t at school, you could join us in the weight room in the mornings.”

Dad asked what she meant. That got us talking about our three-times-a-week morning workouts and what we did at school between six and seven on each of those days. I mentioned to Dad that the guys had shown me how to improve my form, and that I was getting a lot better results now that I was lifting correctly. He was thoughtful.

“You know, if you keep cooking and we keep eating, I’m going to start putting on the weight, just like I did this summer.”

I nodded agreement. “So what do you propose, Dad?”

“Well ... we’ve got a big basement, and there are still some parts of it that remain to be finished. What say you and I figure out how to make a fitness center and then put one in on the west side? Does that sound like a good weekend project?”

Actually yeah, that did sound good. After two weeks of not working with my hands I was starting to miss it, and the prospect of framing up a fitness room in the basement held a lot of appeal to me, not to mention that I’d get the benefits of its use afterward too.

“Yeah, but remember that we still need to head into Atlanta this Saturday to pick everything up.”

“Oh, I already factored that in. We should be able to frame and rock it Saturday morning before we go, letting the mud dry while we’re away, particularly if we put the dehumidifier down there, and then we can run a second coat and texture it on Sunday afternoon. We’ll paint and glue down the flooring on Monday.”

Evie looked at Dad. “There’s no way you can get all that done in three days.”

“No?” He asked, locking eyes with her.

“Tim, go online tonight and find out what equipment we need. Put in the order, get the dimensions for space, and give them to me. I’ll run the plotter tonight and we’ll have plans by tomorrow.” He hadn’t looked away at all while issuing instructions. “You can put together a materials list and pick up the supplies on Friday after school.”

“Now, Mrs. Goddard,” he challenged her, “would you care to place a bet? Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is?”

“Mom.”

Evie waved off her daughter without turning to her. “I’d say something could be arranged, James. What did you have in mind?”

“If you lose, you get to plan a romantic evening at the venue of your choice in Atlanta for one night next week.” Dad set his side of the stakes.

“Mom!”

“Hush, Paige,” she quieted the girl. “Fine! And if you lose, you have to be Mr. Fixit for me all day on a day of my choosing next week.”

They shook, and Evie finally broke eye contact with Dad to find out what her daughter thought was so urgent. “What is it Paige?”

My girlfriend looked at me, then Dad, and finally her mother, shaking her head. “Remember how fast they put in the gazebo? I wouldn’t have taken that bet for all the money in the world.”

There was a playful smile on Evie’s face. “I remember. However, as Tim likes to say, I think this is a win-win situation. Besides, you will help me slow them down, won’t you?”

On the Goddard front, things were progressing rather icily. Evie and Dad met with the in-laws Thursday night, leaving Paige out of it. Dad was a quick study in regard to the women, and after the first Goddard dinner when they had returned exhausted and, well, bitchy, he had me make popcorn and have a movie ready for the aftermath of his turn in the hot seat.

It took until the first bowl was eaten, almost exclusively by the women, before we all began to come back to ourselves. Our media room wasn’t really equipped to handle more than two viewers, not that it wasn’t large enough, it’s just that we had only put the two recliners in it. As a result, the women were perched on our laps. He said something to Evie about getting more seating.

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t really mind this, and,” she pointed to the offspring in the room, “I’m pretty sure they don’t either.”

Dad chuckled. “Yeah, but we might want to have guests sometime. Do you think you could apply some of your magic and get this room outfitted for...” he glanced at me. I shrugged before holding up six fingers. “For six? We can put these chairs in the basement game room.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Friday evening we were alone, and Dad felt the emptiness just as keenly as I did.

“What do you think the girls are up to tonight?” He asked me as we unloaded the supplies for the basement workout room from the back of my pickup. The actual building supplies were the last thing to be purchased, everything else was already prepositioned and delivered, which I’m sure Paige had told her mother.

“I don’t know. Scheming on how to slow us down? Having a mother-daughter night together? Eating ice cream and commiserating with each other over the Goddard visit?”

He laughed. “Any one of those is possible, even likely.” He looked appraisingly at the supplies we had stacked in the basement near where we planned the room. It didn’t take much to figure out what he was thinking.

“Dad, do you want to win the bet, or lose it?”

“Am I that obvious?”

“No, but I begin to suspect that your little Mr. Fixit day isn’t something you’re dreading. It has a different meaning for the two of you, doesn’t it?”

He pulled at the corners of his mouth where they had curved up in a smile, trying to straighten his lips manually.

“Dang it! When did you get so perceptive?”

The hand dropped and the lips continued their upward turn as he stood there remembering. “No, it doesn’t mean that I’d be working on her house. It was our code when we wanted to spend a day by ourselves, working on each other. So it really is a win-win situation. Now, do I want to win and have her take me to Atlanta, or lose and have to spend the day working on her? I don’t know. We’ll do our best and let the chips fall where they may.”

With that decided, we spent the next hour framing the four walls of our exercise space, putting vapor barrier against the concrete, and tying the room together. Electrical and other cabling was installed, and insulation found its way between the aluminum studs. Everything was ready for us to rock it when the doorbell rang. I ran up the stairs and to the front entryway, opening the door to find my three favorite women and Grandpa waiting there.

I stood surprised for a moment until Grandma pushed past me into the house, her arms laden with grocery bags.

“Don’t just stand there, Tim, help us unload,” she commanded on the way to the kitchen. Her female companions pushed past me as well, leaving me and Grandpa alone in the entryway. I finally recovered my wits.

“Won’t you come in, Grandpa?” I invited, opening the door wider and sweeping my arm in a grandiose gesture.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he answered with a grin, giving me a hug as he came into the house. “Watch yourself, they’re up to something” he whispered while his lips were near my ear. I don’t know what he made of the smile he saw on my face when he released me. No time to ask.

“Dad!” I yelled, hoping the sound would carry to where I had left him in the basement, “we have visitors.”

He popped his head around the stairs and into the kitchen, “Who is it, Tim?”

I didn’t need to answer, as everyone was assembled there. He regrouped more quickly than I had. “Evie, Paige, Mom, Dad. What are you doing here?”

Grandma answered with a mischievous grin, “Tim wanted to learn how to make my cinnamon rolls, so we came over to teach him.”

“It takes all of you to do that?”

“Well, no, but Evie wanted to learn too. And it’s a well-established fact that Tim can’t get anything accomplished in the kitchen without Paige beside him, so she had to tag along.”

“And Dad? What’s he doing here?”

“You know I can’t leave him unsupervised. He’s here to keep you company,” she said, glancing at the door to the basement.

Quite blatant interference. Well, no one had stipulated that the bet had to be fair – this was going to be fun.

“Come on, Pop. Tim picked up a copy of the Wonder Woman movie that came out a little while back. Let’s go see if it looks as good in the man-cave as it did on the big screen.” Just to rub his mother’s nose in it Dad added, “We can crank that 7.1 system up and check out the soundproofing.”

“Now, James, that’s not fair,” she complained.

His raised eyebrow spoke volumes as he led Grandpa away.

I was left with the ladies in the kitchen, along with all the bags they brought. Might as well get to it so they could play out their little farce.

“So what do we need to do first, Grandma?” I put the flour, sugar and yeast on the counter, pulling out the mixing bowls that would be needed.

“Tim, what’s the hurry? These things take time ... and love. Why don’t you get some coffee started while the girls and I settle in? Paige, you help him and make sure he does it right.”

Her, “Yes, Grandma,” didn’t escape my notice, nor did her inept ‘help’ in making the coffee. I finally sent her back to the breakfast nook where there was plenty of giggling and conversation. When I finished with the beverage, I started on popcorn, figuring that I could at least join the guys in watching the DC movie in the man-cave. When it was done, and the women had still made no move toward mixing up the promised rolls, I invited Paige with my eyes to join me as I edged out of the kitchen. She, of course, had to ask permission.

“Grandma, is it okay if I go with Tim to watch the movie?”

There was an absent-minded, “Yes, Dear,” that released her into my charge.

We still needed to collect a few items, so I put the popcorn down and made a detour through the garage and our camping gear. The compressor made a little noise when I turned it on, but it sure filled up that oversized air mattress quickly. I tossed a sleeping bag to Paige, grabbing another one myself. We returned with the items under our arms and snagged the popcorn, making our way to the media room.

I was extremely impressed with the soundproofing when I was met with a blast of noise as I opened the door. Dad paused the movie while we joined them, and we moved the current chairs out of their premium positions to make room for the improvised seating that Paige and I had brought. With the door closed, Dad restarted the film, which thankfully hadn’t proceeded much past the opening credits. It was two hours before the door opened again.

Apparently the door didn’t just keep sound from escaping into the rest of the house, it also kept aromas from getting in. We emerged from the darkened media room into a home filled with the sweet warm scent of cinnamon. Grandma put on an air of surprise when we found her and Evie in the kitchen.

“Where did you go, Tim? You missed the lesson.” She pointed at the cooling tray of cinnamon-raisin rolls. “Another hour and I’ll ice them and then we can have a snack before we go home.”

I looked at the clock. It was ten already, and we couldn’t even begin eating until eleven. Then with conversation and cleanup, we wouldn’t have them out the door until sometime after midnight. So that was their plan. Well, I had already turned the tables on them earlier in the evening by making sure that the coffee I made was decaf. I’d make another pot, strong and black for when the rolls were ready, and feed that to Dad and myself. They’d be tired, and we’d be wired.

I figured that rocking and mudding the room could be done in a little more than an hour, so we’d see our guests off, and still be on schedule downstairs when morning rolled around. I was sure that they had something planned to interfere with Saturday as well.

I was right. Grandma took that moment to spring the ambush. “I guess we’ll have to come by tomorrow morning and give you another lesson. If we do it right, you’ll just have enough time to learn before you all have to go into Atlanta.”

“Yes, Grandma.” What more could I say?

“You gave them decaf, didn’t you?” Dad was helping me clean up after they had all gone home. I was right, it was after midnight, and they had promised to be back in six hours for my lesson. “You also made a pot of full leaded if I’m not mistaken.”

“What do you think you’ve been drinking for the last hour?”

He laughed at that. “You can scheme with the best of them, Tim. Are you ready to rock and roll?”

I nodded affirmatively, opening the door to the basement and leading the way down. We spent the next forty-five minutes hanging rock, and after that we taped and mudded for another half hour. When it was done, we were tired, but all that remained was for us to plug in the de-humidifier and let it do its work while we caught some Zzzs. Morning would come soon enough.

I had no more than laid my head down on my pillow when the alarm interrupted my rest, telling me that I had a half hour to get ready for visitors. I hopped up, took a beautifully long and hot shower, then headed downstairs to make breakfast after dressing. I figured that would be one of their ploys – to draw out the meal preparations, so I made sure to get everything underway.

Three pounds of bacon were fried first thing, and one got set aside in the warming rack of the oven, while the other two made their way to a buffet dish on a sideboard near the dining room table. A whole eighteen eggs were scrambled and cooked up, fluffy the way that Mrs. Emerson had showed me, not rubbery the way I used to make them. A large pot of coffee was brewed, and I think that, more than anything else got Dad to stick his head in.

“What can I help with?”

“Plates, silverware, napkins and beverages,” I said, pointing to where they should go in a stack on the table. “When you’re done with that, could you make up a batch of waffles?” Dad made the best waffles in the world, and he got to it after I had pointed out where in the kitchen everything was.

Sure enough, we heard cars pull up in front of the house, and the doorbell rang shortly after six, just as promised. Dad played the gracious host, inviting everyone in and leading them into the dining room. “We thought you might be hungry, so we prepared a small breakfast for you.”

I have to say this, they were all well briefed, and they had a plan in place for this contingency. Grandma was the first to load up her plate with eggs, and, knowing my proclivities, a huge helping of the bacon. Dad urged them not to wait on us but to begin eating as we were still finishing up in the kitchen.

I snuck a peek at the family arrayed around the table, every plate piled high with food. It looked like Grandpa had been given the lion’s share of the bacon, and he was shoveling it in as fast as he could chew. I figured that would be one of Grandma’s plans, which is why I had hidden away the third pound for me and Dad. He finished up the waffles, and we brought them out to find the group still gainfully chewing through their breakfast pork. I noticed that Grandpa didn’t look so good. For that matter, neither did Evie and her daughter. Grandma was the one to break the bad news.

“I’m sorry, Dear, but we ate all your bacon. If you want some, we’ll have to make a quick trip to the Kroger to get another pack. Lionel, why don’t you go out and start the car so it’s warmed up?”

Grandpa tried to smile at me as he began to rise, but I stopped him.

“That’s okay, Grandma, we made some extra and didn’t have room for it in the tray.”

I went back to the kitchen and removed the last pound from the warming oven. I think the smell that wafted from it as I placed it on the trivets on the table made a majority of the people here this morning queasy. Dad and I had no problems splitting the portion in half. It wasn’t until we were munching away on it that anyone said anything.

“I think I hate you,” Evie told Dad.

I received a “Ditto,” from her daughter. Grandpa just excused himself from the table, making his brisk way to our downstairs bath.

“Anything you’d like to add, Mother?”

“No, James. Although I would like a cup of coffee.”

She groaned as he got a cup and poured the good stuff for her. After her first sip, she looked at the Goddard women. “Ladies, we have been outmaneuvered but good.”

She turned to me, “This is better than the coffee you brewed last night. Is it why I think it is?”

I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “If you think that I served you decaf last night while Dad and I drank the fully leaded stuff you have in front of you, then you’d be right.”

She added her statement to those of the Goddard’s. “I think I hate the both of you.”

Grandpa emerged fresh from the bathroom, looking one hundred percent better than when he went in.

“What did I miss?” he asked as he surveyed the relatively comatose women at the table.

“Good bacon, Tim,” he told me when no answers were forthcoming. That earned him two momma cat snarls, and one from a dangerous kitten. He picked up some dishes from the table and followed me into the kitchen. “What’s up with them? Other than that their plans backfired that is.”

Dad shared the joke. “They learned that Tim can scheme with the best of them. Just wait until they go check out the basement.”

“Oh?”

Dad nodded.

“This I have to see.”

The three of us made our way downstairs and were able to check on the progress of the room. While there, we knocked off a few rough spots and put a second coat of mud on it, the whole process not taking much more than fifteen minutes, even with cleanup.

“Very nice,” he commented as we made our way back to the main floor. “If you texture tonight, you should be able to paint tomorrow.”

“That’s what we were thinking.”

The time we were gone had given the ladies enough energy to regroup, and they weren’t trying to be subtle about things anymore. They passed us on their way to the basement to check out the progress, expecting that we would be no further along this morning than we had been when they left us not much more than six hours earlier. Grandpa made sure the door was kept open.

“Wait for it...”

“SON OF A BITCH!” came wafting up to us in a voice that sounded a lot like Grandma’s.

“And there it is,” said Grandpa as he gently closed the door. “You boys head outside and maybe take a walk round to the equipment yard. I’ll see if I can’t smooth things over here. Give me about fifteen minutes.”

That sounded like a good idea, so we made ourselves scarce.

We paused in the mud room when we returned. There was a full-blown conversation happening in the kitchen, and we shamelessly eavesdropped for a while.

“I know, Candace, I know, but what do you want me to do about it?” Grandpa’s lower-pitched voice carried a lot better than Grandma’s. There was a pause and then, “You only have yourself to blame. You installed the sneaky gene in James, and he apparently passed it on to another generation. Besides, you should be proud that they outmaneuvered you at every step. And I have to say that Evie doesn’t look too displeased by the current situation.”

Now that was a straight line if ever we had heard one. Dad slowly opened the door from the mud room to the kitchen and peeked his head around the corner. “Knock, knock. Is it safe to come in?”

Grandma could be heard clearly now. “Yes, you rascals, come in here.” She waited until we had both entered, closing the door behind us. “I’m sorry for cursing. You surprised me.”

A glance over at the Goddards showed that they were enjoying this family byplay.

“It’s fine, Mom. Now, are you still going to teach Tim how to make the rolls, or should the four of us get on the road?”

“Get out of here,” she replied, shooing everyone out of the kitchen. I had to run upstairs to get my good shoes, belt and shirt, as did Dad. When we came back down, the ladies were waiting for us by the door to the garage, and Grandma had a request.

“That really wasn’t fair last night, James. You know I wanted to see that movie. Can your dad and I stay here and watch it again?” She looked so plaintive asking for that favor.

“Of course, Mom. Just lock up when you leave.” With that, we headed into the garage and the waiting Tahoe. Dad and I held doors as proper gentlemen, and after the ladies were situated, we began our day trip. It was a quiet first half hour.

“You really didn’t fight fair, James,” Evie told Dad, a little unladylike belch escaping from her at the end of her statement.

“Hey, don’t blame me. The bacon bit was all the kid’s doing. We were on the same page about everything else, but that was a stroke of pure genius.”

“Well, whatever it was ... well played.” Quiet descended on us again. “It was fun though. I never knew meals could be so much fun before this week. Mom and Dad didn’t put an effort in, and life with Phil was ... well it wasn’t what you could call fun. Thank you for sharing that with us.”

She made it sound like this was the end of enjoyment for a while.

Dad asked the question, “When do your in-laws leave?”