Papa and the Wrecked Angles

by Greg Vanno

Copyright© 2021 by Greg Vanno

Kids Story: Johnny does real good in school cause his Papa helps him. Papa knows everything there is to know. Even matmaticle stuff.

Tags: Humor   School   True  

HOMEWORK Septmber Spetember 17 pg 1

by Johnny S#### Grade 3 Mrs. N#### Mt. O### Elem#### Sch#### pg1

Papa knows everything there is to know.

Yeh, that’s why I do so good in school.

Even matmaticle math stuff.

Of course he knows histry, he was there helping it along. Just aks him.

Course, nobody knows how much histry he knew. Cept him cause his name never got wrote down when Lady Luck wrote histry, unfair as it is, sez he.

That his line, “sez he”. Or, in the case of Mrs. Nowt, my teacher, “sez her”.

And Science!!! Mrs. Nowt teaches science, too. But science is easy. Papa says science is easy – it’s real and right there in front of you, nothing made up: either it works or it don’t. Cept when it blows up.

Ha!!!

But math that’s where he shines. And I don’t.

I get numbers but this year math is about lines. I been drawing lines since I could get hold of a crayon. Or a Pencil. Or a Sharpie. Sharpies are the best.

And everbody knows circles. Some is good and round and some aint. Papa says the flat ones just need more air inside them. I was gonna fix that but didja ever try to blow air thru a pencil? Then Papa tells me the air hadda be there when you first drawed it, that’s when the air got out.

And triangles? Yep. Three sides. Triangle. And Mrs. Nowt is so particular all the corners is closed. I bet she’s afraid the air will leak out and the triangle will go flat.

And squares. Did you know a square is two triangles back to back? Ha, Papa showed me: draw a line across the square from any corner to the other corner. Get it? Maybe you got to step back some. But there it is! Two triangles, both the same.

But I come home today full of trouble cause Mrs. Nowt wants us to draw wreckt angles and even Papa scratched his head at that.

Then he sez, “Oh, I knows all about wrecked angles – you got to watch your spelling, kid” sez he. He held his wrists together clapping and flapping and showed how to make an angle with his hands.

But that’s only good for talking about wreckt angles. We hadda draw them for homework.

Turns out wrecking the angle is real simple. You can squash em or leave out a line so’s nobody knows how big the angle is.

Him and me got to laughing when we pretended to wreck angles.

Look sez I

Sez I??? Now he’s got me doing it.

Anyways start with this angle n push the lines together! Til they overlap. And theys only the one line left.

Cept they aint!!! It’s one line on top the other. It just looks like one line. I wreckt it! But nobody can see it!!!

Papa says all lines is like that. They only got two dime in chums like back and forth.

He says real lines got no end in either direction. We only draw parts of them else we’d run out of paper. He says real lines aint even thick as a pencil, we just pretend cause we gotta draw them with something or we couldn’t see them. But we know they’re there.

-see that? Papa tells me overn over there’s two kindsa there. First words is There fer over there and the othern is They’re what means “They are two kinds of there”. Mrs Nowt says theys another kind. But she spells it worng. THIER.

Papa says theys lotsa extra words but most is mizspelt. That reminds him he had a teacher one time, Ms. Spelt but they fired her cause nobody could spell her name.

Anyways, he sez theys only 2 theres. There like over there. They’re like they are over there. Teachers gotta pick their examples better says he. But he couldn’t spell that their when I aksed.

Sted he sez theys only one line in all the world and all the other lines are stacked up on it. N we caint see real lines since none of them is wide as a pencil tip. Even a fresh sharpened pencil tip. Even if you could sharpen n sharpen til that tip could poke into a cloud n stick thru one itty bit of fog like a olive on a toothpick.

Ha. He don’t pick his sxamples good!!! Cause he forgot if you skribbl scribbl one pencil line over n over n over the line rises up off the paper! If you get down real close to the table n look acrost you can see it stick up.

Like this!!! Oops tore the paper. But if you look close the tape sticks up offn the paper too.

Yeh. Mrs. Nowt says theys 2 kindsa too too. But that’s the bottom of page 2 and this is my 2 page homework. Toodle ooo!!!

pg 2

 
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