Chapter 38

Sean reached into one of the dozen pockets of his pants and pulled out a box of bandages. Opening the box, he proceeded to put bandages all over his chest and stomach. Looking down at the patchwork of flesh colored bandages, he said, “I should have gotten the ones with ducks on them.”

He put on his bright white tee shirt covering all of the bandages. Thinking about what he was going to have to do a little later, he said, “It is going to hurt taking all of them off.”

No one had gone anywhere near Sean in the dressing room while he had been preparing for the challenge. Now that everyone was in their gym clothes, they would sidle past and say something to him. Most of the comments were to the effect that it had been nice knowing him.

Sid walked over and said, “How many push-ups do you think Coach Slaughter can do?”

“I don’t know. I guess he can do a couple hundred of them,” Sean answered pulling on his gym shorts.

Shaking his head, Sid said, “Last year you managed to do five.”

“That was last year,” Sean said with a shrug.

Jerry came running over and said, “Half of the school is out there waiting for you.”

“I guess I better put on my sneakers,” Sean said sitting down on the bench.

“There’s still time for you to back out,” Sid said looking towards the door. He could hear the noise of the gathered crowd.

“I can’t do that,” Sean said. He put on his sneakers. They were brand new and he expected that this would be the only time he would be putting them on in the gym. Although he was confident, there was still a small worm of fear in his stomach. He said, “I’ll be fine.”

He tied the shoelaces saying the little ditty about the Indian, “Build a tee pee, come inside, close it tight so we can hide. Over the mountain and around we go, here’s my arrow and here’s my bow.”

“Do you always say that?” Sid asked staring at Sean.

“No,” Sean answered.

Shaking his head, Sid said, “You better tie the bows. You wouldn’t want to trip on your laces when you’re walking out there.”

“That’s a good idea. There’s not much chance of winning if I happen to break an arm or a leg,” Sean said. He tied the laces into a knot.

Sid said, “There’s no chance of you winning no matter what you do.”

Sean stood up and did a muscle man pose with both arms bent out to the sides and leaning over a bit. He said, “I am ready.”

“You’re dead,” Sid said thinking that Sean looked a lot like a plucked chicken strutting around like that.

Sean walked out to the gym where a huge crowd was gathered. All of the seniors and half of the juniors were there to watch the contest. He looked around at the people amazed that he recognized so many of them. He knew that Suzie would be there, but didn’t realize that Mr. Charmers and Ms. Woodhill would be there although he should have guessed that about Mr. Charmers. The real surprise was Ms. Hawkins. She was busy berating Coach Slaughter with some lecture about testosterone driven feats of male domination propagated by older bulls over the younger bulls. Sean tried to follow her logic, but got lost about the time it turned to comments about dominating women. Coach Slaughter was just staring at her blankly.

“Lots of people are here to watch me win,” Sean said. Deciding that they deserved a show, he went from one body builder pose to another showing off his great physique. His rather skinny build, thin arms, and scrawny legs did not present the heroic image that he so desired. The effect was almost like a hairless Chihuahua trying to look like a Mastiff. Most of the people laughed and shook their head.

Mr. Charmers stepped over to him and said, “It isn’t too late to call this off. Just give me the word and I’ll stop it.”

“Which word might that be?” Sean asked looking at Mr. Charmers.

“Uh, stop it,” Mr. Charmers suggested.

“That’s two words,” Sean said.

“You’re quite right. Just give me the two words and I’ll stop it,” Mr. Charmers said rolling his eyes.

“I’m ready,” Sean said. He looked over at Coach Slaughter and saw that he was doing some warm up exercises.

“Are you sure?” Mr. Charmers said.

“Quite sure. It is time to show the world what Agent Double-o Zero can do,” Sean said with a smile. He struck a heroic pose.

“Michaels! Quit playing around,” Coach Slaughter bellowed.

“Hold your horses,” Sean yelled back. He looked over at Mr. Charmers and said, “I must go.”

“Are you ready?” Coach Slaughter said when Sean finally arrived.

“Yes, but first let me apologize. I fear that my little discovery of your gender identity problem has more or less forced you out of the closet. Let me assure you that I didn’t say anything to anyone, but the whole school knows it now. I did not intend that to happen and I’m truly sorry,” Sean said extending a hand to shake.

Suzie put a hand to her forehead and said, “I told him not to say that.”

Coach Slaughter turned red and then purple. He pointed to the floor and said, “Let’s begin.”

“I take it that you are not accepting my apology,” Sean said.

“I am not gay,” Coach Slaughter said through clenched teeth and pronouncing each word quite clearly. He looked around and realized that there were too many witnesses to get away with hitting him. He was going to have so much fun with Sean after the kid lost.

Frowning, Sean asked, “So what is it with that whole gender confusion thing?”

“Sean, drop it,” Mr. Charmers said.

“Okay,” Sean said.

“Let’s get this charade over with,” Coach Slaughter said.

“Charades? I thought we were doing push-ups,” Sean said.

“Michaels!” Coach Slaughter shouted.

“Sorry,” Sean said. “I wouldn’t have gotten all dressed up in my proper gym attire if I had known we were going to be playing Charades.”

“Down on the floor,” Coach Slaughter yelled.

Sean got down on the floor to start doing push-ups. Coach Slaughter got down on the floor beside him. Mr. Charmers walked over to stand in front of them. He said, “I’ll count out the pushups.”

“Okay,” Sean said.

“Are you ready?” Mr. Charmers asked thinking this was going to be over in less than a minute.

Sean wiggled around on the floor for a second and then answered, “Yes.”

“What was that, an impersonation of a spastic worm?” Coach Slaughter asked staring at Sean.

“Just loosening up a little,” Sean answered.

“Let’s start. One,” Mr. Charmers said.

Sean ordered the bandages to lift him slowly and then to lower him. The effect was that of a perfect push-up. He looked over at the coach and said, “Only a couple hundred more to go.”

Mr. Charmers started counting out the pushups. He had figured that they would reach about ten and have to stop when Sean collapsed. At ten, Sean was still doing pushups. He kept on counting until he reached a hundred. Sean was still doing pushups and didn’t even look the least bit tired.

The crowd was beginning to make noises. There was the beginning of a chant developing, “Go Sean Go.”

Coach Slaughter kept glancing over at Sean. He could not believe his eyes. There was no way that this scrawny kid should be able to keep up with him. Sean would occasionally smile over at him as if this was just a stroll through a park.

“We’re going to be here all day at this rate,” Sean said, “We can go a little faster.”

“Okay,” Coach Slaughter said.

Having gotten into a rhythm, Sean was enjoying doing the exercises. After all, the bandages were doing all of the lifting. The hard part was keeping his hands on the floor. Sean started giving his commands verbally, “Up down. Up down.”

At five hundred pushups, Coach Slaughter started to feel it. He kept glancing over at Sean noticing that the guy wasn’t even sweating yet. A rather sick feeling started developing in his stomach when he realized for the first time that it was possible that Sean would beat him.

Mr. Charmers kept counting out the pushups rather stunned by what he was watching. Everyone else in the room was counting along as well. Ms. Hawkins stood off to the side and said, “Ladies, do you see what happens when men have too much testosterone?”

“Lots of horny women?” Suzie asked.

Mrs. West said, “When I was younger a demonstration like this would have had me hot and bothered.”

“Oh, please,” Ms. Hawkins said. She said, “Someone should just cut off their balls and we wouldn’t have any more of this kind of nonsense.”

Suzie looked over at Mrs. West and said, “Isn’t Sean cute in those little gym shorts?”

Sid looked at Sean and said, “No.”

Looking over at Coach Slaughter, Sean asked, “By the way. How many pushups can you do?”

“I’ve done over a thousand,” Coach Slaughter answered rather surprised that Sean could still talk.

“How long have we been doing this?” Sean asked.

Suzie answered, “Thirty-five minutes.”

“We’re at six hundred and something. I don’t think we’ll finish in time for me to make Biology,” Sean said.

Mrs. Bird said, “That’s okay, Sean.”

Sean looked over at her and said, “Oh, hello Mrs. Bird. I didn’t realize you were here.”

“I was a little late. I stopped to get a donut on the way here,” Mrs. Bird said with a smile. She held up a small piece of a donut.

“That sounds good. I might want a donut when we’re done here,” Sean said looking up at her.