Pc Game

by Oleg Roschin

Copyright© 2018 by Oleg Roschin

Comedy Story: In the future, political correctness rules the unified West with an iron fist.

Tags: Humor   Parody   Dystopian   Futuristic   Near Future  

October 15th, 2082, Jerusalem, 57th State of the United States of Democratic West

“Please sit down, sir.”


“Do you admit that today at exactly 2:35 pm you verbally sexually assaulted Ms. Rita Steinman?”

“What are you talking about? I just called her a foxy lady.”

“Kindly explain what you meant by that, sir.”

“I told the girl she was sexy. She likes it, by the way.”

“Do you have a liaison of a sexual nature with Ms. Steinman, sir?”

“That’s none of your business! And no, not yet.”

“Addressing a person with whom you do not have a sexual liaison in a sexually suggestive way is classified as verbal sexual assault, sir.”

“Listen. I was telling a girl she was sexy. She liked that. What’s your f•©king problem?!”

“Sir, may I further refer to an incident that occurred two days prior to that?”

“What incident?”

“You ethnically discriminated Mr. Abdullah Olafssohn-Mizuyama.”

“How’s that? I called him ‘spaghetti master’. He’s Italian, you know.”

“May I inquire about the precise usage of the aforementioned expression, sir?”

“What, spaghetti? They are those thin Italian noodles –”

“Excuse me, sir, but by degrading a person’s identity to a status of an edible product you ethnically discriminate him as opposed to persons whose ethnical identity is valued higher on the scale of your culinary preferences.”

“Man, that’s total bullshit!”

“Sir, the word ‘bullshit’, while referring to a by-product of a certain species of animals –”

“Cow crap! Bovine feces!! Excrements of Primigenius Taurus!!!”

“Please calm down, sir.”

“Calm down?! You basically said I was a sexual offender and a racist, for Chrissake!”

“Sir, did you just say ‘for Chrissake’?”

“Yeah, so?”

“‘For Chrissake’ as in ‘for the sake of a person historically known as Jesus Christ’?”


“Sir, I’m obliged to remind you that my great-grandmother was of Satanist faith.”


“She would have found the expression ‘for Chrissake’ offensive, sir.”

“Are you completely out of your mind?!!”

“Sir, may I remind you that my uncle’s wife is of a mixed Zulu and Inuit heritage.”


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