Chapter 17

Roxie had never been treated to front-row seats. That is, unless one counted Junior’s numerous episodes, but they seemed to count for less as time went by. That was the extent up until she’d been treated to an up-close view as Cal sparred with Jack Ross and Homer Barlow looked on as the second in Jack’s corner. Here she was again, and so was Cal and this time he was a having a go with a man whom Roxie didn’t know.

She was interested for a couple of reasons. For one thing, she’d always wondered what it was like when the big boys who ran things knocked heads. As a fly-on-the wall it was easy to keep score. The other reason was that these events of the summer gave her a chance to see Cal up close for the first time. It seemed like he was full of surprises.

Even from a distance, Roxie could see that Cal and this unknown man didn’t care for one another very much. Through her years wearing an apron and as spectator to Junior’s many scrapes, she learned to read men’s faces a long time ago. She wondered who the other man was.

“He must be from the college.”

Like everyone else in town, Roxie had heard about the protest at the County Office Building and how it was over Cal’s Annex Project. Cal had gone up against Jack Ross over the Annex, after all, so it had to be important.

Even if the stranger hadn’t been sitting with Cal she would probably have guessed he was from the college. She knew the type. They were the guys who wore sandals all around town. Probably the only thing the working men and the business-government types had in common was a no sandals in public footwear rule. Around the pool or maybe in the back yard was alright, but that was all. Sandals always gave the college crowd away.

Another telltale sign was that this man had the trappings of an older man—like the gray woven through his wavy hair that was longer than normal that he pushed back from his face. But he had youth in his face behind the wrinkles and he wore his eyeglasses on top of his head, except when he wanted to read something. Roxie always figured people like him age slower because they had fewer of life’s worries than the regular people.

At least, that was true as far as Roxie knew. She would have given a lot to know what they were talking about. They weren’t saying much; it was how they were saying it.

“Hey! You better pick up the pace.” Millie said into her ear from behind her. “The tables are filling up.”

Roxie shook herself out of her daydream and realized that Millie was right. It would only take her a minute or two to get everything caught up. She couldn’t quite keep her mind off of what was going on at Cal’s booth, but she knew she had to shape up. There was plenty of tip money to be made on a Sunday morning. She would daydream when her shift was over.

She put in an order for the kitchen. Millie was standing nearby refilling her coffee pot.

“Remind me to say ‘thanks’ to Bonnie for trading shifts. This is sure better business than Sunday nights,” Roxie said.

“She had to be somewhere with her family today,” Millie explained.

“Lucky for me, I guess,” Roxie sighed.

“If you want, I’ll make the switch permanent,” Millie said. “You’re faster than Bonnie, and she confuses orders too often. You’ll make a lot more money. But you have to be available every Sunday morning. Whaddya think?”

Roxie didn’t answer.

“Think about it and let me know when your shift is over,” Millie ordered and then they went separate ways into the dining room to take care of the full tables.

Roxie figured she was lucky in more ways than one. It was fortunate that Junior hadn’t called to summon her to meet him at the Dew Drop. If he had, she probably would have gone. She knew that their relationship wasn’t perfect, but the time-out had gone on too long.

“What I had is better than nothing at all.”

When she heard those words inside her head they were a bit hollow. Once, she thought, they would have been comforting—but now ... She didn’t have time to think on it right then. The diner was packed. It would have to share space in her thoughts with Cal’s mysterious adversary when it was daydreaming time.

She glanced over and saw that Cal and Mr. X were finishing up. It was her last chance to hear them say something important. She ran to the waitress’ station and toted up their bills.

“We’re in the right,” she heard Cal say.

That was good old Cal. He was fighting again, and on the right side. Roxie liked the sound of it. He was fighting like a man. She’d always seen him as one of those shirt-and-tie types who spent all their time and effort trying not to piss anyone off. Cal wore shirts and ties, but there was something in his black and white attitude that gave him a side that would fit in with working people.

“If only he would let himself do it.”

They didn’t say anything more for several seconds. Roxie didn’t have much time to waste.

“Anything else?” she asked as she took a step closer to the table.

Cal mumbled something about giving the check to the mystery man. Then he dropped a five dollar bill on the table—a pretty good tip for a breakfast—and then wasted no time marching out the front door.

He looked angry—it was raw emotion, the kind Roxie liked in a man. He was kind of like Junior and not like him, too. Junior would never have wasted time with the likes of this sandals guy.

She handed the two guest checks to the stranger, as Cal told her. She wasn’t sure he would take them, but he did. He looked at Cal’s five sitting on the table and thrust his hand into his pocket. He stopped and looked at the slips again and shook his head. In Roxie’s mind, Cal had won the day.

“No, five is enough,” he muttered.

He walked past Roxie to where Millie was standing at the register and paid the tabs. Then he was gone, too.

When Roxie’s shift was over she’d made up her mind about changing shifts with Bonnie. She took off her apron and hung it up and went to find Millie at the waitress’ station.

“Alright, I’ll make the switch,” she announced.

“I was hoping you would,” Millie answered. “But you gotta promise that you’re going to show ev’ry Sunday. It won’t matter if you’re sleepin’ with Junior or not.”

“That’s okay,” Roxie promised. “I need the money. If I’m with Junior it won’t matter because he has to get up and do the milking, anyway.”

“You can’t crawl in all hung over,” Millie warned. “You’ve got to look alive. It will be Sunday mornin’ and you’ve got to give it your best. A lot of the Sunday traffic is the church crowd and if they think you’ve been drinkin’ all night they won’t like it.”

“I get it—I get it,” Roxie snapped back. “I’ll just have to ease back on how much I’m drinking, whether Junior likes it or not.”

“You handle it however you want to,” Millie replied. “But I can tell you that if one of you is drunk and the other is sober, neither of you is gonna like it.”

“And I said ‘if’ I’m with Junior. It’s not automatic, you know. I wasn’t with him last night. I don’t know when I might be with him again. Maybe he’s moved on.”

Roxie stopped talking and folded her arms. Millie paused and scratched her chin.

“Those are the words of a woman who’s thinkin’,” Millie said. “It must be that Cal has put thoughts in your head.”

Roxie remained silent, her arms still crossed. Millie chuckled.

“Well, lover-boy looked like he was givin’ you the brush-off when he stormed outta here this morning. Take it from me, girl. Don’t waste too much time with those thoughts if they’re all one-way.”

“You’re just tryin’ to fix up Bonnie with Cal,” Roxie retorted. “You’re just tryin’ to clear the way for her.”

Roxie played back what she’d just said to herself. She felt a chill.

“And there’s nothing between me and Cal, anyway,” she hastened to add.

Millie shook her head.

“I’ll change the shift schedule,” she said, “and I’ll let Bonnie know.”

After the Sunday morning shift was over Roxie headed for her car. She didn’t go straight home. She had to stop at the grocery store first, which was in the opposite direction from her Aunt Flora’s house. She didn’t mind having the extra time to herself. The short drive would give her a chance to finish the thinking that she’d had to put aside during her shift.

“Cal sure seems to be coming up in the world,” she said out loud. “Who wouldda thought it?”

She reminded herself that ‘a lot of people might have thought it. He was a hard-working young man with a college education and a law degree. And everyone in Appleton knew how straight-laced he was—which was a trait treasured by many. Cal would be quite a catch for some lucky girl, but he never seemed willing to get into the race.

“His problem is that he don’t know how to howl at the moon,” she said out loud

True—but she reminded herself that their howling hadn’t gotten her and Junior very far in life.

“It all started with that car loan.”

But she scoffed at herself, too, for Cal had shown little interest in her and probably never would.

“I’ve probably been around too much for him to get involved with me. I’ve got too much of a reputation. Cal likes things cut and dried. Besides, he’d want someone who’s been to college, like he has.”

It was nice thought, but better to let her mind wander to something more realistic.

“I wonder what’s up with Junior.”

That was a subject she knew more about. Junior was far from perfect; she wondered if that was a permanent condition. Roxie figured he had the body of a man and the mind of a boy.

“He’s still young. Someday he’ll take over the farm. He’ll have to grow up sooner or later.”

When that happened, she reasoned, he would have to be more like Cal except a few years younger. He was bigger than Cal and better looking, too. He just needed to grow up, that’s all. It would be all he’d need to smooth all those rough edges.

“The acorn never falls far from the tree,” she repeated the old adage to herself.

She added something new of her own.

“And Junior and Cal came from the same tree, so they can’t be much different deep-down.”

It all made a lot of sense to her. She figured that the new Sunday morning shift would be just the thing that would help Junior change. She would have to cut down on how much she drank. She would get Junior to do the same. That would be the first step and soon things would just be rolling right along. But, none of that plan would work if she and Junior didn’t get back together.

“If he doesn’t call me this week, I’ll just show up at the Dew Drop on Saturday night.”

Roxie had everything figured out, her grocery shopping was done, and it was time to head for home.

When Roxie arrived at the house she expected to find her Aunt Flora waiting in the kitchen for her. She would be checking for everything on the list, which Roxie had been careful to fill, and then Roxie would borrow one of her aunt’s cigarettes. She hadn’t had one yet that day and it was after noon already.

Flora wasn’t in the kitchen, so Roxie called out to her.

“Auntie, I’m home”

There was no answer. Roxie tried again. There was still no answer.

Roxie mounted the stairs. She checked in Flora’s bedroom first and found her aunt lying on her bed looking up at her. She had her house dress on and even her shoes.

“Auntie, didn’t you hear me calling you? Why didn’t you answer?”

Flora blinked, but didn’t speak right away. Roxie looked closer at the figure on the bed. She looked alright, as far Roxie could tell, except older and tired. The shades in the bedroom were drawn so there was little light. It was hard to say for sure. Roxie thought the older woman didn’t have much color in her face.

“I was about to answer you, dear,” Flora croaked. “I was just thinking of what I was going to say.”

“What? What do you mean?” Roxie demanded. “I just wanted you to tell me where you were.”

“Yes, dear,” Flora answered. “That was it. That’s what I was about to say.”

“Auntie, don’t you feel well?”

Flora was silent again. Roxie didn’t like it. Her aunt didn’t always say the right things, but whatever she was going to say, she always said them fast.

“I’m just a little tired,” she whispered at last.

Roxie didn’t quite believe Flora.

“Are you sure, Auntie? Can I get you something?”

“I’ll just sleep for a bit,” Flora croaked and then closed her eyes.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need something,” Roxie said. “I’m going down to the kitchen to put away the groceries. We can go out to the Dairy Freeze later.”

Flora didn’t answer. Roxie thought she might be sleeping already so she turned and left the bedroom and went down the stairs.

Roxie put away the groceries and then took a can of cola from the refrigerator. She searched for her aunt’s cigarette carton and found it in the usual place. She took out a new pack and opened it up. It was her first one of the day.

She took her soft drink and cigarettes out to the front porch and got comfortable in one of the chairs. She played over that interesting conversation she’d had with herself on her ride from the diner to the supermarket.

It was past midsummer. While the weather was still warm, the burning hotness was gone. August was drawing close and after that autumn would be just around the corner, and as all knew it was the season of change. Besides the weather, Roxie sensed other changes. She thought about Cal and his project.

It seemed to her that the Annex had been vacant for so long that everyone had just gotten used to doing without there being an employer there. It looked like Cal was determined to bring in some new company, and that was going to be a big change. She thought how that might help fill up the diner.

But she’d been to Syracuse and seen all the fast food places lining the main roads. There didn’t seem to be many real diners left there anymore. She wondered if that might happen to Appleton. She hadn’t forgotten her dream to buy the diner from Stan and Millie.

“I better think about that,” she thought as she watched a car speed by her on the County Road, raising a cloud of dust. “I’d be just taking over and they’d put up a Burger Haven across the street from the diner. That would be all I’d need.”

With the college in town, she had often wondered why there weren’t a few on the outskirts already. If the diner was too risky, then what would it be? She couldn’t think of anything right away, so the diner stayed in her dreams, but at arm’s length.

So, she deduced that she’d been wrong. She didn’t have it figured out, after all. More thinking led to more questions and then more thinking. The cycle might never stop.

In that moment she thought that she saw a distant spark of light, faint and elusive. It was shining on some truth that perhaps explained why Cal was the way he was. She tried to focus it to a clearer view, but too soon it flickered and was gone. Maybe Cal had seen it once, too.

She needed a dream, she reckoned, because she would be the first to admit that girlhood had slipped by her. There was a time when just having a job with some money in her pocket was satisfying enough. Mostly, it was the independence. The fun of that was long-gone. She knew women who’d spent their whole lives waiting tables and she recognized herself in that collection of sore feet and aching backs. She needed a dream, alright, but one with some aspect of reality.

That made her think about Junior, and each time she thought of him she thought about Cal. Once she thought of Junior as a fun guy who never backed down and she liked that. Cal was his older brother and what little she had known of him wasn’t good. He sure wasn’t like Junior. She and Cal had dated a few times when Cal had come back to town from the Army—and that was like mixing water and oil.

Sometimes, when she was alone and not preoccupied by more immediate problems of everyday life, she wondered if she should have been more patient with Cal in those earlier days. Perhaps, she thought, she might have laughed a little harder at his corny jokes that never seemed to make much sense. She could have picked up the conversation when Cal seemed to disappear into that deep conversation void to which he’d been prone.

“Maybe I should have just jumped his bones instead of waiting for him to jump mine,” she thought. “That would have brought him out of his shell, for sure.”

The thought made her giggle a little bit, and she remembered how foolproof hindsight can be.

“I don’t know if Junior will ever be like Cal,” she said out loud.

The sound of her words startled her. She looked about, making sure that no one, particularly Aunt Flora, was around to hear them. She would have had to explain and it would have been hard to do.