Chapter 29: Lori

As we approached the lake house, I wondered if Lori was feeling anxious and vulnerable. It was perfectly understandable that she would have some fear of this whole new arrangement.

I tired to console her. "Lori, we're a lot safer here than in Jacksonville during storm season. Jacksonville is near the ocean, and any kind of storm surge could be extremely dangerous. Tides could literally cover much of the city.

"Winter Haven is almost dead center in the state and is nearly the highest area above sea level in Florida. Storms have to travel from the Gulf or the Atlantic to hit here; they lose a lot of their punch once they travel over land.

"In 2004, three hurricanes battered through here. Power was out for about a month, and everything the wind could down, fell. The state was sea of blue tarps protecting damaged roofs for a long time.

My house is completely concrete. It even has a concrete roof to protect us if we get another battering hurricane. I have a lifetime supply of propane stored up to fuel the generators.

As I already said, I have a motor home. I'll live in it quite comfortably. You'll have the house.

I hope I was convincing her of her well-being. "We will need to make further preparations for storm season, but if a hurricane hit tonight, we'd be fine. Don't be afraid. We're going to be safe because we're over prepared. We can grow old here together, safely, if you want to. I know that's what I want."

It hurt again to see sadness in her eyes. It brought back a raft of bittersweet memories.

Lori had her own reaction to my plan. "Jamie, I don't want to move into the house until after our wedding. Let me move into the motor home, and you stay where you are. I want to keep our new home for our marriage. Let me do that."

She spoke with determination. I couldn't find any good reason to argue.

She continued. "I want to save the experience of our house until after our wedding. I know that may seem old-fashioned, but I want our house to be unspoiled ahead of time."

I agreed. "Okay, we'll do it your way. We'll find a bridle shop. Then we can decorate the church, go by the Clerk of the Court for our marriage license, notarize it and get married. Good enough?"

She looked momentarily torn. Her eyes glistened.

"We're really going to do this, aren't we? I mean, this is the real thing and it's good and right and enough to please God? I want to marry you. I just don't want a make-believe wedding ... or marriage.

"I'm holding nothing back. I've spent my whole life getting ready for this and I want to make it last forever."

Lori

His eyes were so kind and loving that all my worries disappeared. It was real and it was true. God, in His amazing, humorous, wisdom gave us each other.

Thank You, God.

His overwhelming love existed long before us. He had our lives arranged before we were ever born. How could I not accept His loving gift? I felt momentarily ashamed of myself for my doubts.

I would be one of the only wives in history who never worried about her husband becoming interested in someone else. I chuckled at the thought.

I truly did love Jamie. It wasn't a schoolgirl infatuation. Before him, I never knew what it felt like to be in love. It was outrageous, incredible and fantastic — all rolled into one. I wanted to run down the street, sing idiotic love songs, then lie in the grass and count the stars until dawn.

I am in LOVE, I thought! This is the real thing and I like it!

Jamie pulled into a driveway and stopped the car. I was suddenly in his arms, telling him of my love.

It didn't matter that we were almost strangers. It didn't worry me that he might reject my declaration. My love was enough for us both. If he loved me back, we would have one thing many couples never had. We would be hopelessly in love with each other. Hopelessly in Love. What a wonderful, terminal condition with no cure.

Jamie held me tightly. His arms felt magical as he squeezed me to him. I felt myself falling into those blue eyes and knew we needed to stop or things could get out of control.

So what if they do? We're in this for life? Why not start now?

Jamie loosened his grip and held me at arms' length, looking directly into my eyes. "Lori. Lori. Lori" he whispered. "I love to say your name. Is that crazy? It must be crazy. I'm in love. I'm really in love. It seems impossible, but it's real."