Chapter 27: Lori

Kevin never asked me to marry him. We went out for a nice Italian dinner one night and simply decided to set a date. No preliminaries, no bended knee, no build up. It was just something that needed to be planned and done. I was so happy to be joining my girl friends with wedding dates I never examined how passionless it all was.

After the decision, there were too many things to plan for me to worry about our lack of passion. We were just Kevin and Lori, another suburban couple preparing a wedding.

After our engagement, we saw less of each other than before. That should have tipped me off that something was wrong. I ignored all the warning signs up until the moment he said there would no wedding.

My shock turned to hurt rapidly. I blamed myself for being such a jerk. Kevin gave every warning sign imaginable. He had "leaving" written all over him. I was so stupid. My blindness caused the hurt, not Kevin.

In the few minutes since we left the house by the river Jamie told me his deepest and most painful story. He shared his fear of getting hurt, found the courage to tell me he loved me and then asked me to marry him.

I was operating on overload. It was all I could do not to burst into tears and run like a scared fourteen year old. The tears were right there. If I tried very hard, I could hold them inside. But why?

That's when it hit me.

My grandmother told a story about her older sister and their mom. My great aunt had to say goodbye to her beau when World War II started and he shipped out.

The whole family walked him to the pier. After tearful goodbyes and too many hugs and promises of loyalty, faithfulness and undying love, he climbed the gangplank to board the troop ship.

Grandmother said that my great aunt cried like a baby until their mother put her arm around her and said, "Hush, my little one. A woman should never let her man see her cry. He loves you. I heard his words and saw his face when he said it.

He is a man who will come home to you and make you his wife. Be his woman now, and send your man off with your best smile. It's the picture he'll carry until he comes home."

Her advice was still important. Jamie loved me. He loved me enough to show me what hurt him and did it because he was confident that I wouldn't turn it against him. He loved me and my grandmother's wisdom was just what I needed right then.

My man asked me to marry him. He did it even though he had no way to know how I would respond. He did it when he didn't have to, although there isn't a pastor around to marry us. He must have a plan. I need to trust him to do right by me.

My head was spinning but my grandmother gave me what I needed to know what I had to do.

"Jamie. Wow. A girl could lose her head. It all is coming so fast. It's almost more than I can comprehend.'

His face fell.

"Jamie, my darling. Of course I'll marry you! And I wouldn't care if you were one of the last twenty million men alive!"

I called him my darling. It sounded so beautiful coming out of my mouth. His smile exploded when I said yes. How could I say anything but yes? He was so cute and kind. It gave me goose bumps when he smiled.

I still wondered how we were going to make this marriage official but I was going to get married. One way or another, Jamie and I were going to live happily ever after.

His smile softened. "Lori, I've been a pastor for nine years. We will do this right. We'll go to the county courthouse and fill out all the proper documents. We will have a real wedding — at a church, with flowers, organ music and all the trimmings you think you might want. There is no way I would expect you to be cheated out of a church wedding.

"We will stand before God and recite our marriage vows in His presence and to each other. We will be married, truly married, in the sight of God and by the laws of man. When we're done, we'll have a marriage license, which I can notarize, since I just happen to be a notary public."

Jamie was a minister? I always dreamed about marrying a minister! It was one of those schoolgirl dreams. And he knew what we had to do to be legally as well as spiritually married.

God wanted us to be together. He kept this man for me. There was so much I wanted to ask; So much I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about my husband before our wedding day.

Our Wedding Day!

"Jamie." I almost couldn't talk; I had so much to say. "Jamie ... We need to talk..."