Chapter 15: Pursuit of Fear

A rule of life is, 'Nothing is ever as easy as you first think it will be'. That truism certainly applied to pursuing Megan, as Sean was soon to discover.

The Council was eager to put their considerable resources at Sean's disposal to rescue Megan. Of course, a couple of things had to be explained to them before their eagerness manifested itself. Cory had to explain how the other Councils would respond to the results of the Americas Council's ineptness, if Megan wasn't rescued. BB explained how the Native American contingent of their organization would react if, Megan wasn't rescued. Sean and Megan were held in very high regard by the Native American community because of the honor they had paid to David Stalker and the Cowlitz Tribe. The Council positions weren't elected posts, but their effectiveness and ability to lead was directly proportional to their organizations willingness to follow their lead. The phrases 'General without an army' and 'Clowns without a circus' were used interchangeably during the discussion to describe what would happen if the required help didn't appear.

"I'll send a jet to the Prescott Airport," the Council Wizard assured Cory anxiously. "There is no reason to involve the other Councils or other factions within our organization. We can take care of any issues that might arise within our territory. It normally takes forty-eight hours to task a flight but, in an emergency like this, I can get it there tomorrow afternoon. It will take that long to fuel it and fly it there. I'll need to know how many passengers will flying?"

"Um, I think five, but let me check and make sure," Cory replied.

"How many will be going?" Cory asked the crowd in the kitchen. "Brennan and I need to go, at least as far as the jump off point to go into the swamp. Sean and Rafe makes four, and Laoshin is five. Do I have that right?"

That's when things started to get complicated.

"I'm going," Liz said flatly. " They took my daughter. I know I can't go into the swamp, but I'm going to be there when they bring her out."

"I'm going if Laoshin goes," Pappy said quietly. "Where ever she goes, I go."

"Then pack a bag, because I am going," Laoshin said with determination.

"Do you need us, Sean?" AJ asked.

"None of you can go into the swamp with me, but I might need Scott until then," Sean said thoughtfully, as he paced the length of the kitchen. "I don't want someone controlled by a Brujo getting in the way or slowing us down. Scott can smell them and prevent any interference. I think just Scott this time."

"Why don't I go instead of Scott," John Plamondon said. He had ridden in within minutes after Pete's arrival. "That's my job, after all."

"I know, John, and I appreciate it," Sean said, "but you know that I'm more in tune with your son and he can smell nearly as well as you can. I might need that little extra he can provide on this trip. I hope not but it's a possibility. Besides, I still need someone to guard the ranch."

Sean turned to Cory and said, "That's why I need you to stay here too. You can't go into the swamp so you would only be able to help to that point. I will be less effective if I'm worried about everyone at the ranch too."

"But, Megan is my ward," Cory protested. The anguish was plain in his voice. "I know I can't go into the swamp with you, but you're going to be leaving some behind at the jump off point and they'll need protection, too. I'll tell the Council to send a couple of Wizards to guard the ranch."

Sean nodded and, looking around, said, "Okay. So, that's seven. Lightning, you're going with me. He said only Rafe and I could go, but he didn't mention anything about animals not going into the swamp."

Duncan yowled and the sound turned into a hissing snarl.

Rafe shivered. He could almost feel the anger and determination from the big cat.

Sean looked at the huge bobcat and said, "If you go, you will need to obey me until Megan is back on her feet and functional. No matter the situation, you will have to obey me. Can you do that?"

The cat yowled again, sounding very irritated.

"Those are the conditions," Sean said sternly. "Either that, or you stay behind."

Duncan seemed to huff, then stood and rubbed against Sean's legs.

"Good enough," Sean said before turning to Cory. "That will be nine if they can send someone to guard the ranch. If they can't, I'll need for you to stay here."

Rafe rubbed his head, still trying to assimilate everything that had happened to him and around him. It seemed like his day, and his life, had taken a sharp left turn into an unbelievable, surreal world. He could chose not to believe his eyes, or his ears, but that wasn't his way. Even with Sean's explanation in the classroom, Rafe was still having trouble making what he had seen and heard match what he 'knew' to be true.

"They'll send someone," Cory said grimly, before putting the phone back to his ear.

The Council agreed to send someone, but the arrival of their flight was delayed until noon on Wednesday. One reason for the delay was the need to secure a larger jet. The six passenger jet the Council normally used couldn't be used. Also, the higher caliber Wizards they wanted to send to protect the ranch weren't immediately available. The Council was very worried about the ramifications if Sean failed in his quest. They agreed to send two, but one of them would need to be recalled from Europe, where he was studying at an archeological site.

Sean was frustrated and angry at the delay, until Seth pointed out that he couldn't arrive at the coordinates until after midnight on Thursday anyway. That's when Sean turned his focus on planning.

"BB, call the Council back," Sean ordered briskly. "We need current satellite images of those swamps. I want to know exactly what we're walking into. Those images will tell us what the current water ways look like and if there are any structures where we're going. Also tell them we'll need one of those airboats with the big fans in the back. Make that two of them. We can tow one in but we'll have a lot more people to bring back out. Tell them to email the satellite image files, and I want them an hour ago."

"You can manipulate time?" Rafe blurted, shaken that such a thing was possible. He would have realized that Sean's words were simply a figure of speech, if he had thought about it. So many things were happening so fast that he wasn't thinking as clearly as he normally did.

"No!" Sean snorted. "Sorry, Rafe. That was a figure of speech. Look, we'll probably have some down time over the next few days. I'll take the time to better explain what Wizards are and what we can do, and can't do. Okay?"

"That'll help," Rafe said. "I don't want to get in the way, but some of the things I see and hear ... um, they're startling."

"I can understand that," Sean replied. "And, I'm sorry that I'm so abrupt right now. I don't mean to snap at everyone but, they took Megan. I've got to get her back. I don't think you can imagine how important that is."

"I understand how important rescuing a loved one is," Rafe replied. "I'll do everything I can do to help. My loved ones are at risk, too."

"No, that's not what I mean," Sean replied sullenly. "I..."

Sean looked around and decided there was nothing else he could do now. He needed to take the time to explain the ramifications of failure to Rafe. He sat down beside Rafe and shook his head.

"Rafe, it's important for the world for me to get Megan back safe," Sean said somberly.

"I don't understand that," Rafe replied doubtfully.

Sean took a deep breath and sighed before saying, "I'll try to explain." He paused, gathering his thoughts, before saying, "I meant what I said outside while ago when I said I would eliminate every Brujo in the world and kill the Council if anything happens to Megan. Rafe, the Magi and Warlocks have been locked in battle throughout time. The Warlocks, or Brujos, have always had the goal of conquering the Magi. The Magi's task has been to maintain balance between the two."

"Okay," Rafe said slowly. "What does than have to do with Megan?"

"Megan is my other half," Sean replied simply. "At times, she's more impetuous than I am. She gets angry quicker than I do, but she forgives and moves on much quicker than I do. Megan is the better part of me. She is the part of me than can love and nurture, and protect the world from my anger. Rafe, I will be the leader of the Americas Council after we leave those swamps. Within a year, I will be the leader of every Council in the world. The Wizard Councils have guided mankind's governments for millennia, mostly from behind the scenes, since the days of King Arthur and Merlin. What kind of person will be leading the world if Megan isn't rescued? What will the world be like if that balance isn't maintained? What will humanity's fate be if I were in charge without Megan, the better part of me, by my side?"

Rafe shivered as horrific images started flooding his mind. They weren't just images of war. They were images of wholesale slaughter. Armies were shattered as waves of lightning flashed through their ranks. Continents changed as mountains rose and sank at the bidding of Wizards. Unimaginable storms lashed the remnants of humanity as they struggled to survive the purging of Brujos and their minions. The images ended with the ragged remains of a stagnant human race that eventually faded away. The last vestiges of human kind sank back into the bestiality of the animal kingdom, destined to restart their climb to dominance over the world.

"Lian tried to teach me the importance of Yin and Yang," Sean said quietly, almost a whisper. "Udit stressed the requirement for balance in all things. Now, they are gone and the only person I have left for balance is Megan."

Rafe nodded, and shuddered again before quietly saying, "I think I really do understand, Sean." He took a breath to calm his nerves and said, "I'll do everything I can do to help you."

"Thank you," Sean said.

Sean Dreamed that night when he finally fell asleep. Udit and Lian were there, in the Dream. David and his mother and father were there, too. None of them seemed to be particularly happy with Sean.

"Megan can help you maintain balance, but you can do it on your own," Lian scolded.

Sean was glad to hear Lian speaking to him, but he wasn't happy to hear her words.

"You know better," Udit admonished him. "You must maintain balance."

"You have a higher purpose, son," Sean's mother said in a sad voice. "Reach for it. Find it. Don't let anything stand in your way."

"I don't care about a higher purpose or balance," Sean retorted agonizingly. "None of it matters without Megan. Don't you understand?" he asked his friends and family and the multitudes he could see and sense behind them. "Megan IS my balance. Megan is the reason that I would ever want to strive for something more, for a purpose beyond retribution if I can't rescue her."

"You are better than that," Udit said. "You are stronger than that."

"But I'm not, Udit," Sean protested. "Without Megan, I am alone in the world. There is no one else. Even if you and Lian had survived, I would be alone without Megan. I have no desire to continue without Megan. I have no desire for the world to continue without Megan."

An image materialized and Sean saw a vital, thriving world. Humanity surged and leapt to other planets, and then the stars. Then, another image appeared, and the world was a cold, lifeless husk.

"Those are the choices," said a voice, or a combination of voices that had had characteristics of all his family and friends.

"You forgot one possibility," Sean said coldly, before doing something he had never done before. He sent an image back to the Dream.

The earth was a blue-green orb, turning in the darkness of space. The boundaries between oceans and land were muted by clouds and atmosphere. The moisture in the skies flashed to energy first, followed quickly by the oceans. The energy was focused into the core of the planet. It didn't take long before the planet's crust succumbed to the internal pressure and began cracking in thousands of places around the world. Suddenly, the planet exploded, and a new asteroid belt was formed.

"If Megan dies, the war will end," Sean vowed.

The Dream shuddered around him before fading away.

Sean didn't feel rested when he awoke Tuesday morning. He wanted to leave immediately, but knew it would be as pointless as running in circles. That made him irritable with everyone. That came to a screeching halt at breakfast when Sean snapped at Liz.

"Sean David," Martha said sternly. "You are upset. We get it. You are angry. We get that, too. You are afraid for Megan. So are we, but none of us are the ones that put Megan in danger. That includes you. You didn't put her into danger, either. So get off your high horse and let us work with you to get Megan back," his adopted mother ordered.

Sean's eyes blazed angrily for a moment, before he seemed to collapse into himself and he looked at his hands.

"Yes, ma'am," Sean said. He raised his head and looked around the table. He met the eyes of everyone that he had snapped at that morning, which included almost everyone at the table. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so ... so ... I don't know what to call it," he concluded shaking his head sadly, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Jerk?" AJ said brightly, in a helpful sort of way.

"Nah, jerk is too strong a characterization," Lilly said. "How about idiot?"

"He isn't an idiot," Bell said thoughtfully, "but I don't think he's completely a jerk either. I'm angry about everything so I understand how he feels, but I'm not trying to take it out on everyone. There's got to be something in between."

"I don't want to be indelicate, or say anything bad about a species, but I think Ass would fit best," Scott mused.

"That does fit," AJ said nodding. "It fits perfectly. Thanks Scott," AJ said while holding a hand up so Scott could give him a high five.

"Good job, Scott," Lilly said, as she lightly punched her little brother in the arm.

"My hero," Bell said, acting like she was about to swoon as she batted her eyes at Scott.

"Okay, you guys," Sean said with a snort. He took a deep breath to ensure he had control of himself before quietly saying, "Thank you."

"Aunt Liz, I'm especially sorry for snapping at you. I know that you're as worried about Megan as I am," Sean said. "I apologize to all of you," he said, looking around the table, "but especially to you, Aunt Liz."

"It's okay, honey," Liz said soothingly. "I really do understand. You can snap at me all you want, as long as you bring Megan back to me."

"Snapping at people won't help anyone," Seth said, not to repudiate Liz's words, but to change the subject. "Waiting is the hardest part of any war. Reacting to a situation is easier because you don't have to think about it. When you know that you're going to need to do something hard and dangerous and can't do it immediately, the fear can eat at you. And don't tell me that you aren't afraid. Any sane person would be afraid. The problem is, that fear can build until it's all that you can think of. It becomes a terror that is harder to handle. The only way to make it easier is to use the time to prepare. Find ways to prepare to decrease the danger and still accomplish your mission. You have trained all your life with Udit or Lain or one of the other members of the family. Think about your training and how it will reduce or eliminate danger in the situations you can foresee. The bottom line is, preparation is your best defense." Seth stood and said, "Let's see if we have satellite maps yet. They hadn't come in when I went to bed last night."

The maps hadn't arrived so they spent Tuesday morning refining the list of what equipment they wanted to take with them. Sean okayed a first aid kit, but pointed out that they wouldn't need one if he and Megan survived. He also pointed out that none of them would need anything if he didn't survive.

"Both of you will survive," Rafe reassured him. "There is nothing to plan for if you don't survive. So, what will we need if you do survive? You and Megan may survive and be unconscious for a while. We'll need first aid supplies, food, fresh water, weapons to protect ourselves from gators and snakes. We'll need a lot of things after you rescue her. You just take care of what you need to take care of, and I'll take care of what I need to take care of."

The maps arrived in Sean's email a few moments before noon. An apology for the delay accompanied the maps. Apparently, a satellite had to be moved in orbit to get it above the southern US.

"We've got a problem," Seth muttered when they started looking at the map.

"I'll say," Cory said. "Those coordinates cover a lot of area. It looks like the exact center of the coordinates are on the edge of open water, but a minute of distance ... That would be half a minute in any direction still encompasses about 2.4 square kilometers."

"Can you see any structures, people, or anything out of the ordinary around those coordinates?" Sean asked, peering at the map.

"I can't," Rafe said, "but that doesn't mean a lot. There could be anything under all that tree cover."The dead center of the coordinates is open water but one side of that square kilometer is all open water. The other side looks like little hammocks and islands."

Sean sat back and sighed before saying, "Okay. We can't find a specific location to target. Planning a route from our jump off point; how far is that from where we'll land?"

"The nearest airport that is long enough for the jet to land is Marksville Municipal," Seth said, pointing out the location on a different map. "That's a little over an hour drive from the jump off point. At least, where we thought the best place to switch to boats was. That's at the end of this road," Seth continued, placing his finger on another location.

Sean traced longitude and latitude lines and muttered, "About thirty one degrees seven minutes north and about ninety one degrees forty minutes west." Sean nodded and sat back, looking at the map. "That would be pretty close to where we need to go. We wouldn't have as long to be on the water and at Eli's mercy." He looked around and asked, "Isn't that where Eli would expect us to go into the swamp, too?"