Chapter 4: The Rocky Road Of Love

Although he thought about it at times, Lee Roy stayed around and didn't leave. Cassie worked her desperate hardest to please him. Between the way his conscience bothered him and the almost daily counsel he received from Judge Mack, Lee Roy decided to at least wait around until the baby was born. Then he'd see if he really wanted to stay or not.

The judge seemed to have a way of explaining things that made it all seem real clear. The judge, aware of Lee Roy's transient nature, hoped his "meddling and advising" would cause Lee Roy begin to grow up a little. He was more concerned about Cassie and the new baby than he was Lee Roy. Cassie Jean went into labor on the day her ninth month of pregnancy began. Doc Stinley's wife, Jesse, was in attendance. Doctor Sweet had been called and he might be along directly, as soon a he could be found and sobered up. It was a little after midnight and old Doc Sweet was usually drunk off his ass by ten at the latest. But since she had delivered all six of her own children with the aid of a midwife, Jesse was pretty sure she could handle things as well as that old drunk.

The first thing she did was to give the young mother to be a complete bath. She used plenty of soap and hot water. Jesse brought clean sheets from her own house for the bed and told Lee Roy to go down to the pool hall and get drunk with his friends, that he was of no use here. He already made his contribution, she felt. Lee Roy, aware his limitations and awed by the secrets of birthing, went. Jesus Christ, the last thing he wanted was to be around where a baby was born.

The whole idea of fatherhood scared him. Lee Roy's old man had been a fur trapper and a drunk, back in the swamps of northeastern Oklahoma. He never cheated on Lee Roy's mamma because he was too lazy to make the effort. Lee Roy remembered how his daddy worked hard as hell trapping for the fur, though, if "the thirst" was upon him.

He remembered how he left home one day to go to school. He recalled how he got in a knife fight and won. He was expelled. He was fifteen years old at the time so he just took off walking down the road. He never bothered to go back home. Why should he? There was nothing to go back to...

His remembrances were cut short as he walked in the front door of the pool hall and headed straight for the old ice chest down at the end of the long counter and grabbed a quart jar of corn whiskey off the block of ice and took a big gulp, shuddered, made a face and passed it on to the nearest person to him. That man took a deep gulp, smiled as the fiery liquid burned all the way down and handed it off to the next man.

A patient Jory Tubbs waited behind the counter, next to the cash box to collect the dollar for the jar of corn whiskey. "Your young missus havin' the kid?" he asked.

"Yup," Lee Roy answered shortly as he hurried to rescue his shine while there was still some left. One of the things about Okies, he decided, they sure knew how to drink for free. There was less than a half pint left in the jar. He tipped his head back and gurgled it all down in seemingly one continuous gulp. He shuddered and sat down as the whiskey hit him.

"Jesse deliverin' it?" Jory asked.

"Yup. She ran my ass out of my own home and told me I done my part and now she was goin' to help Cass do her part. She acted like she didn't care if Doc got there or not." The whiskey had already started to work on Lee Roy, as a warm glow coursed through his body. He reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out a package of Bugler tobacco and deftly rolled himself a cigarette and lit it all in one fluid set of motions born of long practice.

Shep Wallace, a tired old hanger on at the pool hall asked Lee Roy, "How come you married one so young and knocked her up like that? Hit just don't seem right, somehows." He spat a stream of Spark Plug chaw into the gallon bucket that was used as a spittoon on the floor beside him.

"Well hells bells, I sure wasn't planning on gettin' hitched up with no woman, but it was just one of them things. 'Sides, she come up with a baby in her and when it started showin' said as how I was the father. An' you know ol' Bench Daly, he said that bein's as how I humped his daughter and knocked her up, I was goin' to marry her an' give the baby a name.

"Then when I ask' him how could he prove I was the daddy, he pulled out that old gun of his and stuck it under my nose and said, 'This is all the proof I need.' He said as how there never had been a bastard in the Daly family, there wasn't goin to be one now.

"So I told him that maybe they wasn't no bastards in the Daly family but they was sure some sons of bitches. And you know what? That old son of a bitch hit me with the barrel of that old Colt. I was still havin' a sore head when we got married the next night. He is a mean and unreasonable man.

"But I did warn him once that if he ever hit me with that gun again he was one dead sucker, Cassie's daddy or not" Having said all that, Lee Roy leaned back and closed his eyes. He began to get all dizzy. For some reason, the alcohol seemed to hit him harder than usual. Then he remembered he hadn't eaten all day and he was tired.

"I'm hungry, he said and reached a large dirty hand into a big jar of pickled eggs and fished three out. He popped them in his mouth, one at a time and swallowed them quickly with a minimum of chewing. Then he carefully laid three nickels on the counter in front of Jory and returned to his seat on one of the rickety old stools that lined the wall along one side of the pool hall. He thought he'd have a little more to drink, then decided he'd had enough. Besides, if he bought any more whiskey, these free loaders would want some and drink it mostly up, again. He sighed and relaxed.

The next thing he knew, Jory was shaking his shoulder as he told him, "You got to go home, Lee Roy I'm lockin' up. It's three in the mornin'. I fell asleep too." Lee Roy nodded his assent and left without saying a word. Still slightly drunk, he carefully navigated the five blocks to his house with the excessive caution of a drunk trying to not stumble and trip over his own feet.

Jesse met him at the door, as he entered, with the words, "Well you timed that just right. You have a baby girl and she's the spittin' image of you, all wrinkled and ugly." She laughed at her own joke. Jesse continued, "Her name is Belinda Ann and she is healthy as a new born baby ought to be. Doc was too drunk to make it, but we didn't need him anyways." She bustled her fat frame around the cramped apartment, picking up her belongings.

"I'll be back in the afternoon some time, to see how the little mother is doing. Ruby is coming back over later on this morning to take care of things and help out around the house. You let that little girl rest, y'hear? She ain't much more'n a baby, her own self." With that she left.

Lee Roy sat back in his worn out old easy chair, closed his eyes and went to sleep. His mind was still trying to digest the fact that he was now a father. Shit, I sure as hell don't feel like no father. I don't even know how a father is supposed to feel like. Maybe I just ought to take off and go ... His head rolled to one side and he went to sleep in mid thought.

The next thing he knew, Ruby Daly, Cassie Jean's mother had hold of his shoulder, shaking him. "Wake up Lee Roy. Go over and look at your new baby and kiss your wife. You dam' men never show no affection unless you're told to or you want to rut around and get your pecker wet in some poor unsuspecting woman. Now you get your worthless ass over there."

Lee Roy stood up and stretched his almost six foot frame. Then he walked hesitantly over to the bed and looked down at his young wife and said, "Hi." He felt awkward and clumsy and scared as he looked at the tiny bundle sleeping in Cassie's arms. He shuffled his feet and asked how she felt.

"Oh, it wasn't too bad, Lee Roy. I been told that the next one'll be easier. But I ain't in no hurry for no next one." She offered him the small bundle, "You want to hold our little baby?" she asked him shyly.

"Oh hell no." Lee Roy exclaimed as he tried to step backward and stumbled and fell on his ass, instead. "Jesus, I might drop it." No way he was going to be holding no little baby. The very idea scared him.

"Cassie looked at him lying on the floor and laughed, "Lee Roy," she said as she giggled, "You want to get your butt up off the floor? Ain't nobody goin' to let this mean old baby hurt you. I Promise. Now, come on and get up."

Lee Roy looked sheepishly and got up. He grinned at his own reaction after Cassie asked him to hold the baby. "Aw damn, Cass, I just get all nervous just thinkin' about holdin' little..." He paused and struggled to remember his baby's name, then it came to him, "Belinda. Hell, I just don't want to drop her. They break real easy, you know."

Ruby told him, "Lee Roy, I need you to go to the store and get a quart of milk and put the ice sign out. You ain't got no ice in the icebox. The ice truck will be by some time today. You got any money left? He nodded and went out the door.

Lee Roy left and headed toward the Safeway store nine blocks away, lost in thought about the changes that were coming into his life almost faster than he could handle. A year ago he was single, chasing the ladies where and when he could, which was pretty often. Then, he ups and meets Cassie as she was coming home from school and starts to sweet talk her.

From then on, he had a bear by the tail and just couldn't let go. He began to slip her a quarter or so whenever he got into her, usually a little more and some times a little less. Not that he was paying her for anything, mind you, but he just wanted to do something nice for her in return. But it was more than just the money he had given her. He had started to develop feelings for her. He tried to ignore those feelings.

After a while, he started to get used to Cassie and almost would admit to really caring for her a lot. She was different from all the grown women he chased after from time to time. She seemed almost too sweet to look at, with that pouty mouth of hers that got a man all flustered. At twenty-eight years of age, he had never met anyone like Cassie Jean ever before. She was something far outside his experience...

Yup, he thought to himself as he walked alone down the unpaved street, she sure is special for me. I can't tell her that, but I can think on it. And then she had to get all knocked up. Lee Roy wasn't too sure about the new baby. He just didn't know if he wanted to be a daddy or not. Oh well, what th' hell. That's just the way things was.

A short way from the store, he stopped and rolled a cigarette. As he lit up he noticed a big moving van parked in the alley way behind a storage building with the back doors swung wide open. He watched as the driver and his helper carried some boxes out and put them in the back of the van and returned inside for another load.

Never one to refuse a little luck when it came his way, Lee Roy looked around. He approached the truck, grabbed one of the boxes from inside the back end and hurried away and around the corner, with it. He walked another block and then turned toward home again. He carried his load as fast as he could and was out of breath by the time he reached his front door. Once inside he set the box on the floor and pulled out his old folding knife and cut it open. Inside was a new Zenith, six tube table model Super Heterodyne radio, still in the factory wrapping.

Ruby saw the expensive radio and gasped, "My land sakes. Where did you ever get the money to buy that radio? It is absolutely beautiful."

"Well," Lee Roy grinned, "I didn't quite buy it. I just sort of happened to, well, find it."