Chapter 20

Cassie

We got to the parsonage just about sundown, tired from the emotion of the day but too excited to sleep, I knew, and besides ... We barely got inside and closed the door before we were hugging and kissing again. We both knew that our whole marriage, in all its aspects, awaited us, but for the moment simply being able to express our love through the strength of our hold on each other was enough. I'd waited so long to be able to truly kiss Yirmeyah, and truly hug him, not that I was any sort of expert in those things, and now that I could do it I intended to do it thoroughly.

Finally we came up for air, as it were, and I looked up at Yirmeyah, into his hazel eyes, and said, "I love you, adown."

"And I love you, Cassie. I don't have any sort of pet name to call you. At least I don't yet. But whatever I call you, I love you."

I gently rubbed my hand on the back of his neck. "You don't need a pet name for me, Yirmeyah. You've made a gesture your token of utmost love, and I'll always treasure it."

"Do you mean this?" he asked, and reached slowly up and gently disengaged my left hand from around him, and took that hand in his, and pressed his lips to my skin. And it was as though every particle of force that was within him came out of his lips and through my skin and into my veins, and I felt that melting fire that had consumed me as we stood before the congregation.

"Yes," I said faintly, "I mean that. And I'm not sure I can take it."

"Are you all right, Cassie?" he asked, lifting his head and looking into my eyes.

"I'm fine, Yirmeyah. But your love is so great that it overwhelms me, and stirs up such a love for you within me that I nearly drown."

He considered me for a few seconds, releasing my hand and tracing with his fingers the curve of my ear where my hair exposed it, for I'd put it in a long braid for the wedding. "Cassie, I do love you with everything that is within me. But there is a greater love yet. Whenever you think my love for you is overwhelming, remember that we have a Father who loves us infinitely more than that."

I reached up with my left hand, noting how the diamond flashed in the light, and traced my index finger over his lips. "That is right, isn't it? I suppose that you can only love me as you do because God loves through you."

"That's right, Cass. Without Him I'd be a sorry character."

I smiled. "Then I'll take you as you are, for I don't think I would love you if you were a sorry character, and probably you wouldn't love me either." I traced his lips again and then dropped my hand. "But we can't stand here in the doorway all night."

His breath caught in his throat at that, and I saw his eyes changing their focus. Now that we were married he could look at me that way ... and I could let him. And I found that I enjoyed my husband looking at me in that way, and I craved it, and I knew that the time for hugs and kisses was past, and the marriage was going forward.

I leaned my head against his chest for just a moment, and heard his heart racing, as I knew mine was racing. "Yirmeyah," I said, "let's see what this is all about."

Yirmeyah

I woke to the sun coming through the curtains. At first I wasn't sure where I was. But when I looked around I knew that the room was familiar. It was just that I'd never seen it from the bed before.

Knowing where I was, I knew who would be there. I rolled over, away from the window, and there she was, the covers half thrown off of her. My eyes had a life of their own. And it was right that they see, for this was my wife, in every sense. And yet what I felt wasn't a surge of lust, but a desire to protect her against harm. It wasn't that she was unattractive, lying there. Far from it – I'd seen beautiful women here and there, but none to compare with Cassie. It was, rather, that my love for her was more than just physical desire. It was an unalterable commitment of my heart. I felt like I really was one flesh with her – not merely through the joining of the night, but through a melding of heart and mind and body far more complete than that.

I put my hand out and felt her soft warm skin, and kissed her on the temple. I brushed back her dark hair, that she'd loosed from its braid before we'd gone to bed. I traced her eyebrows with a fingertip, and kissed her temple again. I couldn't get enough of my wife. I knew intellectually that this first obsession would calm down, and our love would become more moderate in its expression. But for the moment it seemed like every second that I wasn't touching Cassie was a moment of death.

As I continued to caress her, Cassie began to awaken. Her eyelids fluttered, and she stirred a bit. And then her eyes opened, and she looked up at me. It was like the unveiling of the most precious emeralds in the history of the universe. She smiled up at my face, and asked, "Aren't you ashamed to be so wanton?"

"With you, Cass, wantonness isn't shameful. It's right for us to be here like this."

"True, it is right. And I know that you would never ask me to do anything shameful, even within our marriage. I was teasing you, Yirmeyah, but you're right – this is perfectly right in God's eyes, and so it's right in my eyes too."

I returned her smile. "Cassie, my little theologian. I love you. Did you know that?"

Now she giggled. "After last night, Yirmeyah, I could hardly not know it!"

"So I didn't let you sleep much. What do you expect from someone who's barely out of his teens?"

"Oh, about what I got. And here's a secret, adown – if you hadn't been so insistent, I would have been."

"I did notice that you never resisted."

"Did you expect me to?"

Now I had to laugh aloud. "Cassie, you said 'wanton, ' and you were right. You've got a normal young woman's desires, and you pursued them zealously. And so do I, and so did I." And then I got a little bit sober. "But I noticed that you were as concerned for me as you were for yourself, and if I didn't love you already, I would love you for that."

"Yirmeyah, my love, I was concerned for you because I love you, and while, yes, I needed my pleasure, I needed yours too." She paused for just a second. "Is that what love is, between husband and wife?"

"Cassie, when it comes to this side of marriage I'm just as expert, and just as ignorant, as you are. We're both getting our on the job training. But I think it is."

"In that case, Yirmeyah, come here and be a loving husband."

Cassie