Chapter 18

Cassie

At one time I'd wanted the traditional big wedding, with all the frills and dresses and everything, but knowing Yirmeyah and seeing how happy he was with simple things had gotten me thinking, and when he'd said that he wanted something simpler I'd realized that I did too. And so that's how we planned, and it was a lot easier than the frustrating and even irritating planning that I'd seen become part of a couple of friends' weddings. The biggest part of our planning really was inviting everyone who needed to get an invitation, for of course the whole church was automatically invited. We sent invitations to family and friends in Texas, where Yirmeyah's family was, and to Chicago and the surrounding areas of Illinois and Indiana where Daddy had come from, and to Michigan, which was Mama's home. We had to send invitations to family scattered around the country too, though more of those went to my family than to Yirmeyah's, for most of his relatives were still in Texas.

But at last all the invitations had gone out, and we'd gotten responses from the people we most wanted to have there, and the day was coming. We'd settled on October 18^th, though we'd really wanted to get married sooner, because that was the first time all of the elements were able to fit into place. The MJT auditorium was available, and Darvin Carpenter was available, and everyone who really ought to be there was available, on that date, and so that's when we were going to get married.

Daddy had told Yirmeyah to wait before looking for a house, and it turned out that was because Daddy went to the deacons and they signed a long-term lease on a house which would become our parsonage, the first one we'd ever had. It was within easy walking distance of the church, and when the deacons gave us the keys a week before the wedding and showed us through it, and explained how they'd also provided for the furniture and the first month's light and phone bills, Yirmeyah nearly cried and I certainly did. Hopeful Church wasn't that big, though we'd really grown since Yirmeyah had come to us, and I knew that this expense wasn't because the church was rich but because they loved us.

I excused myself for a few minutes while the men were in the back yard, and went back into the bedroom, and smoothed my hand over the sheets on the bed. Something I'd began doing since my conversion which I hadn't done before was praying "to myself," silent prayers that I knew were to God but seemed in a way to be like talking to myself. As I stood, and then knelt, by the bed with my hand on the covers, I said to God, You've given me such a wonderful man, and a week from tonight we'll be here together in this bed. Father, I want him desperately, and I know he wants me, and we love each other, but I'm beginning to get scared too. This is going to be something I've never experienced before, and I'm going to need your strength so that I can be that first night the wife that Yirmeyah deserves. There was no "amen," no "in Jesus' name," when I uttered these little silent prayers, but then I'd learned from Yirmeyah that nothing in the Bible requires us to use such formulas, though there's nothing wrong with them either. This prayer was just a simple cry of my heart to my God, and I had no doubt that He heard me even if I didn't do it according to the usual form.

As I rose from my knees I realized that Yirmeyah was standing in the doorway. "Are you all right, Cassie?" he asked.

I went to him and leaned my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm fine, Yirmeyah. I was just praying for our wedding night."

I felt his hands on my back, one just above my waist and one between my shoulder blades. "I suppose," he said, "that you know as much as you can about it without actually doing it."

"Yes – and I suppose you're in the same boat, for I don't believe for a minute that you've ever gone with a woman before."

I heard him chuckling above my head. "No, I haven't – I'm as new to that bed as you are. But we'll figure it out. Adam and Eve did, and so have couples in all the years since. And we love each other, which will help us over any slips and bumps."

I nodded. My mind had taken a tangent somewhere. He'd mentioned Adam and Eve, and that had sent my thoughts through the Old Testament, thinking of any number of marriages – that first marriage of course, and then there were Abraham and Sarah, and David and his wives, and the evident love Solomon had for his Shulammite woman, and Moses and Zipporah, and even Hosea and Gomer, which must have been one of the most difficult marriages in history. But my mind kept coming back to Sarah, and how she'd addressed Abraham. "Yirmeyah," I said, my voice very soft, "how do you say 'my lord' in Hebrew?"

"Do you mean 'lord' as in God the Lord, or the word a soldier might use to his king?"

"I was thinking of the word a wife might use to her husband, like Sarah did to Abraham."

He was quiet for a moment, and I assumed he was thinking, for I knew very well by then just how difficult it can sometimes be to pull facts out of a self-education, which doesn't have any formal structure to it. "I'll check later to be sure, Cass," he told me, "but I'm pretty sure it's adown."

My arms, which were still around him, tightened, and I said, "Then you are adown to me, and shall always be so, for you have taken me under your protection and have chosen me to be your flesh and your bone, and to walk with you throughout our lives."