Chapter 17: Mail Call

Posted: June 30, 2011 - 06:13:58 pm

“John said that he wants to have your babies.”

“What?” Dexter asked in shock.

Dexter had just stepped into the office. That was not the kind greeting he had been expecting. Of course, hearing that some man wanted to have his babies, was a little out of the ordinary. Even at the best of times, he’d have had problems with that kind of greeting.

“John is a very happy man, and he owes it all to you,” Eric said.

That was a bit of good news. Dexter had hoped to help John and he assumed that John had been hired at Daimler Plastics. It would be six months of double employment. There was even a chance of getting a follow up job doing something similar at another company.

Dexter said, “I think he’ll enjoy it out there.”

“Do you mean at Daimler?” Eric asked.

“Yes,” Dexter said.

Eric said, “I figure he’ll save them more in software licenses, than we’re getting paid to identify the problems in the company. He really did a good job at the old company. He single-handedly saved them three million dollars a year on licenses for software that wasn’t being used. I’m sure he’ll do just as well at Daimler.”

It was amazing that so many pieces of software had been purchased with annual licenses and maintenance fees. While most of the software packages were used, there were many that weren’t. In some cases they had bought licenses for fifty people, only to discover that no more five people ever used it. They had even replaced some Legacy systems, and were still paying licenses on software that had been part of them.

The most amazing thing, was that no one had a list of all of the software licenses and maintenance fees that were being paid. The automated systems just generated payments, because they were scheduled annually to be sent to corporation XYZ, without explanation. Some of the companies didn’t even exist any more. John had found the company was paying seventy-five thousand dollars a year on a license for software that hadn’t been used since 1992.

“I figured he would be good at that when I gave him that job. I know Ed Daimler will appreciate any savings that John manages to dig up,” Dexter said. “I’m happy for him.”

“I’ll let John know that he can have your babies,” Eric said.

“Please don’t,” Dexter said rolling his eyes.

“I’m glad to hear that. I would have been jealous if you had said yes, since I want to have your babies,” Eric said with a smile.

“What are you talking about?” Dexter asked.

Grinning broadly, Eric said, “Oh, boy! You don’t know, do you?”

Somehow or another, Dexter felt like he was the last one to know anything, anymore. Eric was in too good of a mood. One of these days, Dexter wanted to be the one in the know.

“Know what?” Dexter asked.

Eric said, “The lawsuit was settled this morning.”

“What lawsuit?” Dexter asked.

“The class action lawsuit regarding the hostile workplace. Your copies of the memos between Mr. Morris and the ever lovable VP of Engineering, blew them out of the water. It proved a high level corporate policy of intentionally lying to employees about their chances of promotion. It effectively said to promise us anything, but give us nothing,” Eric said.

“That’s nice,” Dexter said.

Dexter remembered finding that memo. He had handed it to Mark with the comment that it would win the case. Mark’s only response was a smile that would have put a man-eating cartoon shark to shame!

He felt good at getting another shot in at the old place. He hoped that Mark was able to get a good settlement. After all, Dexter had been promised five percent of the award. Of course, he wondered why they had settled so quickly.

Dexter asked, “So how much did you get?”

“A million for each person,” Eric said.

“That’s some big money,” Dexter said as he considered that there were over three hundred people involved in the lawsuit.

Eric said, “You should have heard the execs complaining about not getting big bonuses this year. I heard the CEO was only getting twenty million in cash and ten million in stock options.”

“What was he expecting?” Dexter asked wondering how anyone could be disappointed with that kind of bonus, considering the losses the company had taken over the past year.

“Quadruple that,” Eric said. “It seems that the board decided that the money to pay for the lawsuit should come out of the bonuses of the executive staff. There are lots of unhappy campers there.”

“That’s good to hear,” Dexter said smiling.

Eric said, “It gets even better. There are now criminal charges being filed.”

“What for?” Dexter asked.

“I’m not sure what the specifics are, but apparently it’s illegal to lie to employees about their conditions of work. You see, they were knowingly telling us things that were false,” Eric said.

“That might explain why they wanted the civil suits resolved. One of the conditions might be to not talk about the case,” Dexter said while scratching his chin thoughtfully.

He wished he knew more about all of this legal stuff than he did.

Eric said, “I heard that the board of directors was pretty irritated at the men running the company. Rumor has it that the CEO, CFO, and CIO are all going to be let go, as a sign that the board didn’t know about this stuff. Once the courts start indicting everyone, the company stock is going to take a swim in the sewer, unless they can put the proper spin-control on it.”

“I wonder why the prosecutor chose to pursue the ‘lying to employees’ route. I figured he would go after the fraudulent charges on federal contracts,” Dexter said frowning.

“Fraudulent charges?” Eric asked. “I hadn’t heard anything about that.”

Dexter said, “You know, come to think of it ... I haven’t delivered that paperwork to the Federal DA. Maybe I should give him a call.”

“Are you telling me that they’ve been ripping off the federal government?” Eric asked looking at Dexter wide-eyed.

“Yes,” Dexter said. “They were billing for overtime on cost-plus contracts without paying any overtime. That’s a big no-no.”

“OH! MY! GOD! Shit, you’re going to own that company by the time you’re done with them,” Eric said.

“That’s the plan,” Dexter said. “I was kind of hoping to get to the federal offenses after getting a little more blood out of them before sending them to jail.”

“Jesus!” Eric said prayerfully.

He had known that Dexter was angry at the old company and wanted a bit of revenge, but he couldn’t imagine the lengths that Dexter had gone.

“You sound a little vindictive,” Eric said.

“Maybe I am,” Dexter said. “But I believe that I’m justified.”

“Why?”

Dexter answered, “American businesses have shat upon engineers for two decades. They make billions of dollars off our creations, and then they treat us like dirt. Engineering is the most important human activity. Try to think of any industry that doesn’t rely upon engineering. Film? That’s one of the highest tech industries around. Theater? Think of the lucky actor who doesn’t have to shout his lungs out on a stage with poor acoustics. Food? Think of all the equipment required to produce, package, and deliver food sufficient to feed three hundred million people every day of the year. Housing? That’s just too obvious. Engineers create products on which people’s lives depend. There aren’t many things that you can buy that don’t involve an engineer during its design. Soft drink? Consider the engineers who designed the bottle and the machine that fills it. Everything in the modern world is engineered.