The Enchanted Outhouse - Cover

The Enchanted Outhouse

Copyright© 2011 by TC Allen

Chapter 9: Hayride from the Outhouse

The next morning while we cheered the good guys, namely Jason and me, and booed the bad guys, namely the bunch of whacks from Somewhere, Texas who tried to attack us, the phone rang

"Darn" she muttered. "It's just getting to the good part again." She hurried to answer it. It was Ralph. He wanted to know what had happened at the hardware store the previous evening. Rachel told him what he saw on TV was exactly what happened. She hung up.

When Randy and his friends made the delivery the craziness started again. The generator came mounted on its own small trailer. The bed of the pickup truck they used to tow the generator was loaded with big husky Mormon boys. These guys got up at five, did the milking and other chores before they ate breakfast and rode the school bus.

More of Randy's pals rode with the generator. Three were astride it like it was a horse. The wrestling team, the football team and just about all their close friends had bundled up and came along for the ride. When the protesters began to block the way, the guys from the wrestling team and the football team jumped down and started toward the gate in front of the pickup.

One of the protesters poked his picket sign at a wrestler and jabbed him in the eye. Two hundred pounds of enraged farm boy let out a mighty roar and grabbed the sign out of the protester's hand. He jabbed the protester in the butt and chased him down the road as he yelled that the sign was going where no sign had ever gone before.

My security people stayed out of it. Since I wasn't in danger and those kids didn't seem to need any help they just stood and grinned as they watched all the action. By the time they regrouped, there wasn't one single protester left anywhere near my gate. They all either made their escapes and went elsewhere to lick their wounds or were sprawled on the snowy ground with new wounds.

Randy yelled his excitement while he sat on the guy and shoved snow down the front of the protester's shirt. He looked up and saw me watch and grin at his antics. "Hi, Forrest," he called. "If you'll open the gate we'll deliver the generator and set it up for you. I brought everything necessary. The new propane tank will be here in a few minutes."

I laughed and nodded. The guard opened the gate and the truck came through towing the generator. "Would you take it off the trailer and set it up in my basement? It's for power outages."

"That's what I figured so we brought along an automatic start kit. This way if the power goes off, the generator starts by itself. It's real great."

"Do it," I ordered. I wanted to get everything right the first time. He got busy. While Randy and his friends set up the generator, the new tank was delivered and placed outside next to the other.

Rachel called her friends in Salt Lake City and told them all about the latest altercation we had with the screwballs. Then she called her job and formally quit. She learned she had already been replaced. Her boss knew she wouldn't return to work.

Randy came up the inside stairs and called to me, "Hey Forrest, we're ready to fire it off."

I followed him back into the basement. He proudly showed me his handiwork. All the other high school students were crowded around when he threw the main circuit breaker. The lights in the basement barely flickered and the generator started right up.

"Why didn't the lights go all the way off?" I asked.

"I installed a temporary power pack to give you about a minute or so of emergency power while the generator kicks in. Great, huh?"

"Randy, you amaze me." I slapped him on the shoulder and added, "If you will run all these desperate looking characters out of my basement, I'll give you your check. His classmates all filed out and I barred the basement door leading directly to the outside. Jason had begun to make a believer out of me.

I asked Rachel to give him his promised bonus check. When I told her it was for new football uniforms, Rachel admonished me, "Forrest, don't be so cheap."

"A thousand dollars is cheap?" I asked.

"Well, you figure it out. Alone, one complete uniform costs well over a hundred dollars. Helmets are an added expense, so do it right." I figured she had a point. After all, it's not like I earned the money. I laughed at how she could call me down for my "extravagance" when it was my idea and would dole out much more when it was her idea.

"How much is your goal?" I asked Randy.

"Five thousand dollars. But we only have raised about five hundred so far." He looked unhappy that they had accomplished so little.

"Randy, Rachel will write you a check for five thousand dollars. Go order the uniforms. Now the check is going to be made out to you and the donation has to be in your name, not ours." I handed him six of the hundred dollar bills Ralph left behind. "This is for you and the guys."

"Ah, ah ... thanks," he said in a small voice. Rachel handed him the promised check. He hurried out to show his waiting classmates. There were loud cheers as they took off for school. I learned later they all ditched their classes to make the run.

The teachers and principle had no idea where they were. I figured he would forgive them when he saw the check. Later in the day the high school kids were on TV routing the protesters. We had more fun watching the action. One of Randy's fellow teammates discovered the idiot who chained himself to the gate was ticklish. I almost felt sorry for him.

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. The two little girls who wouldn't poop in the holy outhouse were interviewed on Television and actually afforded us some comedy relief with their antics on TV. The eldest one especially was quite the self possessed little lady. They went on about how they got to "feed and ride Bambis" and how the resurrected twigs were thriving. After all the speculation and hate some of the television commentators spewed, it was nice to hear something positive.

By the time Saturday rolled around Rachel made the arrangements and two limousines were dispatched to bring twelve young girls aged eleven to fifteen back to us. She located a hay wagon in Woods Cross. It had been loaded with loose straw the evening before and brought out to us for the ride so it was ready and waiting to be used. With the back gate kept open and guarded to keep people out, our menagerie kept growing. The winter had been extra severe up in the mountains and many more animals were starving.

I stocked up on hundred pound bags of rabbit pellets and rationed the feed out for the deer, the rabbit population and the family of skunks. Even a weasel made an appearance and shared food with the skunks. We had a real true to life Disney production in the making around the house. Of course the ones who needed miracles swore it was a sign of God's approval of me. I swore back it was a sign the animals were hungry and couldn't find food. Rachel and I privately decided it was a sign some people needed keepers since they were so ready to believe anything they couldn't understand must be supernatural.

Ralph's two science investigators came earlier than expected. They gave me a polygraph and an EEG and even checked me for radiation. They had no idea what was happening. Even after I touched a couple of dead plants and they came to life those two "experts' were clueless about how I did it.

They witnessed the greenish glow as it came and went while I demonstrated my powers. They detected a static charge in the air around me while the green glow was present. Then they went away to mumble between themselves with no answers. We enjoyed being together and waited for Saturday.

The two limousines pulled up in front of the house on Saturday morning, two days after the puzzled scientists left. Twelve young girls, some wearing braces and some with canes or crutches slowly got out. One was afflicted with Down's syndrome. The last three out of the second limo were a motherly looking woman in her mid thirties, a man who looked "cop," and a tired, delicate looking young girl of indeterminate age. I knew the girl had to be Sarah. They were all bundled up against the cold. But Mother Nature threw a curve and gave us a sunny day in the low forties. An axiom of Utah is, "If you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes and it'll change."

"You're Sergeant Haines," I greeted him. He nodded as we shook hands.

"And this is my fiancé, Posy Flowers," he introduced. She smiled and we shook hands. There was a slight "tingle" and she let go my hand, startled.

"Ah, what happened?" she asked in surprise.

"Did you have a slight injury or cut or bruise?" I asked her.

"Well, yes I did." She seemed almost hesitant to answer. "I cut my finger last night preparing dinner." She looked at me questioningly and held up her left hand. Her index finger had a small elastic bandage on it.

I grinned. "I bet if you take it off, you'll find it is now completely healed. It had started to become infected."

Her eyes grew wide and round as she looked at me. Then she slowly, almost fearfully removed the bandage. There was a very faint white line where the cut had been. Even it faded as we watched.

"Say what?" the sergeant exclaimed. "I saw the cut this morning and it was all red and swollen. What happened?"

"To tell the truth, I have no idea. But whatever it is, it works." I tried to be nonchalant about it.

"How did you do it?" Sergeant Haines asked. He eyed me like I had tried to hide his family's silverware inside my dirty shorts in order to steal it.

This irritated me. I said, "I touched her hand and she got healed. Look, there is no trickery here at all. I honestly have no idea how it works. If you figure it out, please tell me."

"How do you feel, Posy?" he asked her. He looked at her then back at me as if he was worried I had done something to her.

"Just fine," she answered. "It's nice not to have my finger hurt like it did."

"Well, let's all go in the house and have hot apple cider," I suggested.

Rachel and Posy led the way, while the sergeant and I brought up the rear. As we all crowded into the living room and kitchen, Rachel began to serve warm cider with cinnamon sticks in it and a dollop of whipped cream on top. Even Bill, Sergeant Haines' first name, had a mug. I had never entertained in my house before. This first time, Rachel took over all hostess duties I was free to talk to Bill and Posy.

Posy admitted, "Well, I guess there is something real about your talent. Frankly I went along with this because these are unwanted kids and they get so little of what other young people take for granted."

While we talked Rachel led the girls outside into the back yard. The three skunks were on their best behavior. The two does and an injured buck were eating the dried apples the kids fed them. I slowly walked up to the buck. He shied away from me. I talked low and held out a bit of dried apple. Finally his hunger overcame his fear and he stopped.

I held the apple up to his nose and he slowly ate it. I squatted and touched his injured leg. I felt the tingle. He shied away. Then he stopped and I touched him again. He gave a slight twitch but did not move. At some level he realized I made his leg feel better. I had a new friend.

For reasons only another weasel would understand, the one who hung around with the skunks adopted the young girl with Down's syndrome. It nestled around her neck like a living fur collar. Her face was wreathed with grins as the little animal snuggled in against her.

"Oh dear" Posy exclaimed, "Nancy is going to be so disappointed when she as to leave her little animal behind."

"Well, if there's no rule against it, let it go home with her if it wants," Rachel told her. "I'll give her the money to buy a cage. We don't own those animals and it is nice to see one going to live with someone who would love it."

Posy looked at Bill and he looked back at her and shrugged. She smiled and nodded. "I'll put it on the inventory as a donated teaching project to keep the social workers at bay. Some of them are bureaucratic to the point they won't talk to anyone not on their approved lists." Rachel hurried back into the house and came out with another of the seeming inexhaustible supply of hundred dollar bills Ralph left behind. She handed it to Posy.

All this time, Sarah had kept her distance from me. She watched closely everything I did and every move I made. "Would you like to ride on a deer?" I asked her.

"Yes please, if it wouldn't mind," she answered as polite as any grownup.

I held out my hand and one doe came up to me to investigate. I petted her and rubbed her ears and nodded. Bill lifted her up onto the deer's back. Sarah's eyes became wide with wonder. She held her breath for a moment and then let it out with a gust. Both fawns came up to investigate. They sniffed at the girl's ankles and looked up at her with the curiosity the young of any species seems to have. I led the deer around the yard for a few minutes. Then Bill lifted her back down. She smiled and thanked me.

All the rest of the girls demanded their turns except for Nancy. She was busy with her new ferret friend. Bill and I watched Posy and Rachel give deer rides. He turned to me with a troubled look on his face. "What is your angle here?"

"I don't really have an angle, as you call it. You see, Sarah wrote me an email and it caught my attention. With Posy's permission, I would like to try to heal Sarah. If it works, just pass it off as spontaneous remission or something. I would prefer not to have any more notoriety right now. Just leave my name out of it, okay?"

"What do you plan to do?" he asked warily.

"I'll hold her hand. Either it will work, or it won't. If it doesn't work, there's really no loss because she and the kids are having the times of their lives. If it works, we have all gained a whole lot, especially Sarah."

"What about the other kids?" This guy was like a dog with a bone. He just kept chewing.

"I haven't thought about it. If Posy permits it, I'll touch Sarah. Then we can go from there. Like I said, I don't want any publicity. I have too much of it already."

He nodded, "Fair enough."

Rachel called, "Come on, Kids. Time for the hayride"

I checked with Jason, "I think it might be a good idea to send a couple of men along on the hay ride. I don't see any problems, but I want to be safe."

"I already detailed two men to follow along in a car. I agree the risk factor is very low, but there is always a chance of trouble." The two sleek Morgan horses waited patiently for the ride to begin. All the girls except Nancy were loaded onto the wagon and snuggled down under blankets. The horses took off and clopped up toward the county road. Nancy wanted to stay behind and hold her new friend. Posy agreed.

Two hours later, the happy, exhilarated and exhausted kids slid off or were helped off the hay wagon. I had ordered hot dogs from a nearby (ten miles away) fast food place. The kids arrived and the food came within minutes. What I thought was plenty of food disappeared in a hurry. Nancy fed her ferret bits of hot dog bun. She was happiest of them all with her new pet.

Finally the last of the food was eaten. The crumbs and napkins were tossed into the trash and Posy, troubled expression on her face said, "Please don't throw me a curve ball. I could get in big trouble here. Social services people are very territory conscious and hate anyone who encroaches on what they consider their domain. Though if you can help just one of these children, I'll gladly take the risk."

"I'll tell you again, I will do nothing more than touch Sarah's hand. You have already experienced what it's like. There's nothing else, nothing illegal at all, or even questionable. Whatever it is will either work or it won't. Okay?" I had no desire to convince her of anything against her will.

"Sarah, come here, please," Posy called across the room.

"Is it time?" she asked Posy, staring at me.

Taken aback, I asked, "Time for what?"

"To make me better, of course. You grownups all think kids are so dumb, but we're not." Her tired and wasted face looked up at me.

"Just place your hand in mine, if you want to. Sarah, I don't know what is going to happen. Perhaps nothing will happen. Don't get your hopes up and expect something which might not happen."

"Hope is all I got left. I know I'll die soon unless something happens. I live with it every day and just have to accept it." Tears filled her eyes and she looked up at me and asked, "Please?" She held her pale, delicate hand out to me and I touched it.

My whole being, from the bottom of my soul to the top of my head vibrated with intense energy as it flowed through me. It was just like when I touched the boy on Hal Gooding's show. A green halo surrounded us. I could even catch dim glimpses into her mind. They were dim pictures. Then I experienced the fatalism she lived with. I also sensed she would not have been alive by the time of her birthday in two months. Then it all stopped and I dropped her hand and made a beeline over to the recliner and dropped. I felt drained.

"Sarah, are you all right?" Posy asked. Sarah wordlessly nodded.

"Forrest, are you all right?" Rachel asked.

"Just tired," I answered.

"I feel good all over!" Sarah shouted. "I'm hungry, may I have a pizza?" She capered around the room, still frail looking, but alive with an energy she had never felt before.

"I think we both need a pizza, "I told her. "I'm pretty hungry too."

The source of this story is Finestories

To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account (Why register?)

Get No-Registration Temporary Access*

* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.

Close