Chapter 1: God's Conundrum

"No! No! No!" God yelled, slamming his fist full of papers down on his desk. "Michael, Gabriel, get in here," he commanded

The two angels got stuck in the doorway when they both tried to enter at once. After smoothing a few ruffled feathers, they stood at attention in front of God's desk.

"Those humans on earth got it wrong again," God stormed angrily. "Pull the plug on them. We need to start over again."

"Um ... Lord, we can't really do that," Gabriel said hesitantly.

"And why not?" God demanded.

"Sire, it is Your law," Michael explained patiently. This was a conversation they had every few millennia. "You can change the law, of course, but then you would need to start the whole universe over again."

"Why would I make a stupid law like that?" God wondered angrily.

"You heard about something called 'due process, ' and decided it was a good idea," Gabriel explained with a little more confidence.

"It sounds like a lawyer polluted the pool of conscious thought," God grumbled. "So what you're telling me is that I can pull the plug, but I have to jump through hoops to do it. Is that about right?"

"Essentially, yes sir," Michael replied. "Why don't you tell us what is wrong, and let us work on correcting it?"

"I don't think there is a way to correct it," God replied, suddenly sounding a little tired. After all, he had been working for over thirteen billion years with only one day a week off.

"Maybe the only solution is to pull the plug, Lord, but we really should follow the process that You set up. It has been working well for quite a while," Michael soothed.

Gabriel raised his horn and Michael hissed, "Not now. That will get everybody stirred up and we'll never find a resolution."

"I was going to play something soothing," Gabriel protested.

"Gabe, old buddy," Michael began, shaking his head. "I've listened to you play that horn for billions of years. You don't know how to play anything soothing. Every time you blow it, the dead begin rising all over the place. We don't have time for that now."

"Okay," Gabriel muttered in disappointment as he put his horn away.

God didn't seem to notice, or purposefully ignored the interaction between the angels, as he shook the papers in his hand and said, "Look at these reports! I've gotten used to humans killing each other and all my other creatures. Rape and torture are commonplace, all over the world. Care for the sick and the poor has turned into a contest of who can raise the most money for the cause. While the leaders are thumping their chests to proclaim how great they are for raising the money, the sick stay sick and poor are left in even worse shape. Now they're burning people alive in my name. I thought we squashed that idea when we got rid of the Inquisition."

Michael sighed before saying, "Very few humans read history, Sire, or only read the history written by men with an agenda. Maybe we should consider starting over. There is a procedure we need to follow, but it isn't too onerous."

God began shuffling through the papers on his desk while mumbling, "I seem to remember something about end of world regulations, but I don't remember where I put them."

"I have a copy, Lord," Michael said as he pulled a paper from a folder. He gave a copy to God, and another to Gabriel, before saying, "The first thing we need to do is select someone nearing their end time. Then you will need to interview that person, to determine if the human race can be salvaged. It is the same procedure you followed with Noah and the flood, and on a smaller scale Lot at Sodom and Gomorra, You need to set the selection criteria for the human that you'll interview. A pool of humans meeting your criteria, that will die within 48 hours will be generated. If there is more than one person in the pool, I'll select the person that is the best match for your criteria."