Chapter 9: Preparing for Visitors

Banal but true: in the morning everything looks better. We had slept well, Wilbur had assumed kitchen duties and was doing great, judging by the aromas wafting through our cave. I set the table outside and let out a hungry growl.

"You remind me of that cat you told us about, Bert. Alfred, have you ever considered transporting a cat? Perhaps we could heal it too, improve its character, set it back to kitten mode."

"Don't tempt me, guys. Just imagine what could happen if that monster got loose on the island. Achieving some kind of eco balance was difficult enough in the first place, even if Bert hadn't abused me all the time."

We were level again. We demolished enormous amounts of food and coffee and put ourselves through the healing ponds. I was much surprised to feel a few strong twinges here and there, heart and joints mostly. It became obvious that spending a few months at the island and letting go afterward wouldn't do the trick. We would forever have to work at it.

Alfred's was a different story. There wasn't much wrong with him physically. The problem arose when we tried to set his clock back to fifty years. The programme told us that his age had been reset to fifty years once already. The best we could achieve was fifty-one.

Wistfully Alfred told us that we now knew the limitations of rejuvenating. We could go once to each year, a diminishing scale.

"We should have started at thirty, Berthold. We missed a great chance there."

"Well, Alfred, just think of how stupid I would look: thirty years old, white hair, porcelain teeth. Don't worry, I am fine. For you it's different, though. I made you miss quite a few years."

"Don't be silly, Bert. You don't mind me calling you that, do you? You remember how old I was the first time round? Also, think of it, we could still stretch our lives almost infinitely, depending on how long we waited between rejuvenations. Not that I would want to do that. One day it will just be enough and be done with. That will certainly happen at the latest when all your friends and family around you have died off."

Wilbur had another thought. "Just think how much resentment and animosity we would reap by staying young all the time while everybody around us is withering away. No, we will not stretch it out too long. We will know when the time is right. Makes me wonder if we should go together?"

Alfred and I didn't think much of this idea. Death should be a surprise or else well planned separately.

"Wilbur, someday you may just think that it is enough for you, but for me a few more months might be better, and Bert might want an extra year or two. Even if we are partners in crime by now, we do remain individuals. Anyway, enough of this morbid nonsense. Fifty-one I am now, your senior mind you, and I say let's go on a rampage. Who knows, the 'roos and ostriches may have missed us."

Hard to say of course, but the beasts handled us easily. I wondered about something and spoke up. "Would it be alright if we went outside the bay in our kayaks? I would love to go right around the island. It does look so beautiful from any angle."

Wilbur was all for it, but Alfred shook his sage head.

"Bert, what did you bring with you today?"

I looked at him uncomprehendingly. "You don't have to ask, Alfred. A six-pack for you and me and a bottle of wine for Wilbur. That is my usual contribution and I cannot see anything wrong with that."

"Of course there is nothing wrong with it, but is it enough? I didn't think of it either today but my experience with the knife should have told us that we must always have two bottles of healing water with us, each, nos. 2 and 3 in equal measure. Out there we would be unable to help if something untoward happened."

"Damn, Alfred, you are right. It is so obvious that I am amazed how we could be so careless. Especially after Bert told us what he had to do that time."

Wilbur was most upset and not in the mood for anything capricious. Listlessly we swung a few trees about but soon gave up even this harmless pastime. We turned towards the cave as in one mind.

"Okay. Maybe it's all for the best. Let's use the rest of the day to learn everything about transporting and moving and heavy matter."

I begged off immediately. "Please, Alfred, let me not become involved with heavy stuff. This is for the two of you only. I would not ever wish to use it for any purpose other than moving to and fro, afraid of the immense power and the even greater responsibility it carries. And for that, the unit in my computer will do as is.

"Except maybe for digging in the garden," I added. "But for that I can always call on you or Wilbur, can't I?"

Wilbur was very happy to hear that. "Bert, we talked long and hard about this. In the end we agreed, I was the reluctant one here, to let you make your own decision and would accept whatever the outcome. You are right, the responsibility is almost overpowering, we know that now. Also, and please understand that I don't say this lightly, without our knowledge this power must almost inevitably lead to disaster. So thank you for being sceptic and wise. But Alfred will certainly teach you all there is about moving stuff between your home and our island. He has said so already, but the programme is much more refined now, and easier to use. Even I can handle it without a hitch and the scope for fun is as wide as the horizon itself. Unlimited, truth be told."

"And, Bert, both Wilbur and I give you our word that we will never use the heavy matter to harm anyone on purpose, but we may have to defend ourselves, you included, in the future. Your right to veto our actions at any stage may seem to be a rather flimsy protection at first sight, but when you do know somebody as we got to know each other it will suffice, of this I am certain. Trust cannot be bought but some people earn it easier than others. Shake?"

We did shake on it and were all much relaxed after this topic was out of the way. Lunch was prepared, drinks served and after that we got stuck into MasterBuilder.

I learned that Alfred had developed a separate module which allowed transportation of everything to everywhere, regardless of the time phase involved, which would leave the main programme on my computer for its intended use.

"You did pay for the shareware, after all. Enjoy. As yet, your module at home is not activated. It will work exactly as the one I have here. You don't have to worry about energy or power or how much heavy matter to use. In accordance with your decision your unit will be limited to transporting between your home and the island, in one time phase. You cannot move a motor vehicle or any firearms, any kind of weapon in fact, but neither can Wilbur nor I. You may transport Elise and do it soon, but we would appreciate it if both of you kept our secret to yourselves. You will know what is right to bring and what not. And we all have the right to veto things – and people I should add, if anybody should prove to be disagreeable to any one of us. Whether our little circle of travellers should grow beyond one partner each is an open issue at this stage and worth pondering.

"To start with, Wilbur and I have agreed to visit the island in our local time window, mornings only. This leaves the afternoons, your time, exclusively for your own use. When we do feel like company we will just call each other. And we installed the flags as we discussed earlier – Occupied; Join me; Join us. As a safety measure we can also specifically ask, for obvious reasons, that each of us comes without a partner. I think we have covered everything here, but we can alter and update whenever it should prove necessary. Do you agree?"

Hell, yes, the whole set-up was eminently fair and gave us all as much privacy as we wanted. On top of that, Alfred had arranged with his store that a replacement computer should be sent to me direct. Same specifications but no heavy unit of course. Sealing would not be necessary. Nonetheless, Alfred would check everything once I had set it up. He haughtily ignored my insistence that I pay for the damn thing and told me that they were looking for a new place for Wilbur. Somewhere out in the sticks this time, as Wilbur did not like crowds. And since the persona Wilbur had expended its useful life, he would buy a new identity for him as well. That and buying an outlying farm, fitting and stocking it, would make the expense for my computer seem puny. What could I do but keep my peace and thank him once more?

As soon we got started with all that transporting business, the island turned into a great kindergarten again. They could not stay serious for any length of time. Alfred had a very frustrated Wilbur hobbling about like a feebleminded Friend Harvey by moving him tiny distances three or four times a second. We bust a gut laughing till Wilbur managed to break the sequence, upend Alfred and myself and dump us unceremoniously in the no. 2 pond.

"This is what I had in mind, Bert, when I spoke of the unlimited scope for fun. There is no need to have control over external heavy matter to do this. Here, on the island, a small unit is all that is required. I would have dumped you both into the bay, you certainly earned it, but it was our decision to restrict energy use on the island so things wouldn't ever get out of hand."

Never before was learning by doing so enjoyable. We transported small things first, sticks, stones and the like, separate and in groups. Get your hands on the keyboard, hold down a few keys together – we each had our own sequence –, think of the new location for the object to be moved and release the keys. Bingo. If the sequence were wrong, the object too heavy, distance too far, thoughts too unfocused it wouldn't work, no damage done. To move myself back home, Alfred had installed a preset to make it totally hassle free and intuitive. If the object were off the island, one would have to select it via one of Alfred's maps. I practised a few times, as I had done with the ostriches, but begged off very soon. I had no ambition to be an active cog in our unholy trinity and happily left all fancy stuff to the big movers.

"The same presets, vice versa, are installed in your home unit. You do have a choice of whether putting yourself or Elise down on the beach or up here. In fact, we could choose any point on the island but I didn't see any need to install the feature. I know that I will mostly use the direct approach in future, except perhaps when coming to visit you guys, then it is your choice by invitation."

"I will put you on the back of an ostrich if you dare disturb my circles. I will be pleasurably entertained most of the time," Wilbur stated decisively.

With all that clowning going on it was easy to forget the more serious aspects, still not resolved. I asked Alfred and Wilbur how things would develop now.

"Bert, we cannot say. That confounded business with the hole is finished, score one for our side. On the other hand, they may be looking for me with renewed vigour if those container spooks are bent on revenge. Any further reaction to the fragged computer? I do not think so. You put the warnings on there yourself: Do not dismantle. And the debris will tell them nothing whatsoever, two for the home team. To get Wilbur to safety is my first priority. He will stay here till I am ready to establish him in his new location. I might have to rearrange his face a bit, he is too well-known by all and sundry, but anything I do there will be an improvement. So what?"

Suddenly, Alfred was hovering a few feet up in the air – horizontally!

"I will have you know that I will retaliate ferociously if the outcome is not to my satisfaction. Hell has no fury like Wilbur malformed!"

Alfred carried on unperturbed, lecturing from the air as it were.

"On your side, you should not engage in any dealings with those damn store people at all. That has been taken care of. By all appearances they acted only as agents, even if I have some misgivings about this Kevin you spoke of. I will try and check him out. Scapegoat or culprit, we shall soon know. But consider making up to the cat, you owe it to him. Ouch."

Earth had him once more. The last thing Alfred showed me was the complete and improved procedure for healing.

"See here, the template for a healthy woman of fifty. I did not go further back because it might mean Elise becoming fertile again. Would she, would you want that? I didn't know. If she does want to be younger, another template can be installed without any problem in this section. Her healing will be your private thing. You know how to use the healing module. Start with the no. 2 pond as we did. Don't forget the harness. Should it become necessary for any reason, call me. I will be here for you."

I had one more question to ask. "Alfred, you just told me to use our unit for transporting things or persons here and my unit at home. Yet you seem to be able to transport at will from and to any place unaided. How can you do that?"

Laughing, Alfred reached into his pocket.

"Look here, this is my private unit. Yours is a large strong unit and very well made. But this beauty here, Wilbur has one too, is, despite its size or the lack of it, extremely powerful. It doesn't need a computer, as it is choc-a-bloc with micro-electronics and just a small ball of heavy matter. Feel how heavy it is."

Hesitantly, I took the unit from him and weighed it in my hand. Quickly, I handed it back. It was very heavy for something that small, smaller than some of those newfangled MP3 gadgets.

"Please take it back, Alfred. It is incredible and, to me, frightening to know that such a tiny device could be so powerful. No, my decision was right, this is not for me at all. I will just have to pay you back for any pranks the old-fashioned way."

All business concluded, we were once more in excellent spirits and started serious planning for the evening meal. Surf and turf had a good ring till Wilbur confessed of his fondness for roast beef, claiming he could do it to perfection if Alfred provided the dead ox. Like kids we were, keen to cater to our gluttony. I agreed to prepare some special lettuce and could we have some nice small potatoes too? On an impulse I asked Alfred if he was fond of sweet desserts.

"My greatest weakness, Bert. What do you have in mind?"

I told him of Kaiserschmarrn and Salzburger Nockerln. Immediately he agreed, yes, he would order both. And he asked Wilbur if he could order the roast beef and trimmings from his delicatessen.

"Our kitchen is not really fitted for this. I would rather that we order everything and enjoy the evening outside. Bert to supply the drinks."

Making up the order had us salivating, Wilbur insisting on his Hennessy, Alfred thinking up a few nice wines and we were all agreed on not skimping on anything. 1 kg of roast beef marinated in Madeira, small new potatoes, big bowl of lettuce (recipe provided), three generous helpings of Kaiserschmarrn and Nockerln, with all the trimmings of course and a bottle of port to round the meal off.

"Alfred, please order the drinks first. Waiting will be made easier."

O-tone Wilbur of course, but I was thinking strongly along the same lines and Alfred was eager to comply.

While we were waiting, drinks in hand, Wilbur entertained us with stories about his escapades when purchasing books for the island library.

"I went to the campus bookshop of a Midwest university, one of the better ones. I had the effeminate headman help me with my selection. Of course he was quite delighted to do so but couldn't understand it when I rejected all of those brightly covered books we talked about. Thanks, Bert, your lesson came just in time. There even was a book by our professor. I opened it at random and read a few sentences aloud.

"Can you give me a single reason why anyone should buy such utter trash, written by a dull, almost illiterate blabbermouth who got his professorate by pronging the dean's daughter?" I asked the lovely manager.

"He started to sputter and eventually told me that this was a most eminent thinker and much renowned within the exclusive circle of top scientists, even if it seemed that he had momentarily fallen on hard times.

"How many copies of this momentous epos have you sold so far, dear chap?

"Sales figures don't really mean much since not many people can follow his enlightened thinking. And the book was released but recently."

Wilbur told us that he pointed out the publishing date.

"My good man, I sure wish I could afford to live here. Your life must really fly if three years past is recent to you. But since this seems to be your only copy I would not want to deprive you of it. Do add up the other ones, be a good fellow now.

"The guy admitted, reluctantly, that he had more copies for sale but that he would not force it on me if I did not want it. I had to thank him in the end for his consideration and was even invited to pop in again sometime."

We told Wilbur that the man must have been much taken with his rugged good looks and maybe there was a market for him after all. He just grunted, his hand searching furtively in his pocket, and was watched by Alfred with rapt attention. After a while he went into the cave.

Alfred gleefully pointed towards the side of us. There was Alfred's laptop and, next to it, a small unit just like Alfred had shown me earlier.