Chapter 11: Wedding Bells

The first Friday in April was the date set for our wedding. It was not April Fools day, although it only missed being so by one day. That it was not on that ignoble holiday did not keep me from feeling a fool as we approached that day. That's not to say that I was having second thoughts about marriage but I was having second thoughts about having such an elaborate wedding ceremony.

In the first place I felt having a full six months to prepare for the wedding should have given us an abundance of time. Through the fall and winter I accepted the long leisurely wedding planning meetings that Audra, Irma, Camille, Elise and finally Lenora attended as necessary. I was actually happy that my friends and my intended had things so well organized, or so I thought. Instead of five women planning the wedding and making things easier, it seemed that it was wedding planning by committee, with each member of that committee having a veto.

I gladly brought samples of flowers and wedding floral arrangement plans home from ten different florists. I know that I stopped at almost twice that number of bakeries for samples of the wedding cake and the groom's cake. Prior to that I wouldn't have guessed we had that many bakeries in our small town. I brought home menu plans from uncounted caterers for both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. I wasn't involved in the selection of Audra's wedding dress but I did get to accompany the wedding committee to three dressmakers and two department stores to help the committee decide what the ladies in the wedding party would wear. Like anyone would listen to me...

I did put my foot down and insist on conservative black tuxedoes for the men who would escort the ladies and that decision was accepted. After I was given that concession I was told that the committee would decide on the style and color of the cummerbund and shirt we would wear.

Things all seemed so easy when I proposed. I had some idea somewhere in the back of my mind that there would need to be a short ceremony but nothing like this. I was told afterwards that things could have been even more complicated. First Presbyterian Church actually had a wedding policy manual and one requirement was that we employ a wedding coordinator. After the wedding coordinator was in place she and her crew ended up taking my place as the wedding gofers.

Lenora to me was a wonder woman for what she had done for us as president of the Historical Society. As a member of the wedding committee I saw her other side. As a member of FPC she had been invited to many of the most elaborate weddings at that institution. Her abilities as a story teller were such that she was able to impart to the wedding committee rose-colored images of those elaborate events. Somewhere along the way that translated into the committee deciding that our wedding would outshine all of those others. Irma had insisted that she would bear all of the cost of the wedding and repeatedly said that cost was no object. At times I wished that I was paying for it so that I could at least have that leverage to use to exercise some control over things.

By the time the first warm rains of March began I began to feel more like the father of the bride than the groom. There were times when I didn't think I would make it until April. I began to wonder if perhaps the purpose of the honeymoon was to allow the groom to recuperate from all of the pre-wedding frustrations. I spoke to Audra several times and found that there were times when she felt as overwhelmed by circumstances as I did; after all this was her wedding.

The tension between us was so physical at times that it was as if we were stretching a giant rubber band between us. Several times that rubber band snapped back to sting one of us. The angry words were most often about some minute but critically important detail of our impending nuptial ceremony. Audra tried to answer my concerns. On occasion she would agree but say things were too far along to be changed.

So we roller-coasted along following the tracks laid down by custom and the committee. I expect that most brides at least secretly want a big ceremony where they are the centerpiece. Audra was no different and because I loved her I knew I could endure anything to make her day a special one.

The biggest disagreement both of us had with 'the committee' was about our respective families. Irma tried to convince us that we needed at least some family here with us. My mother had died less than a year after my father's passing several years back. My remaining 'blood-family' consisted of assorted aunts and uncles spread out over four or five adjacent states. None were likely to make the trip to attend the wedding of a nephew that they hardly knew unless there was something in it for them. I honestly could care less whether any of them attended.

That may sound harsh but the memory of their apparent lack of concern for the welfare of my mother after my father's untimely death still angered me. My mother had attempted to deal with that loss and the hole that it left in her life with only the love of her son to console her. I blamed myself at first. A kindly grief-counselor helped me to understand that my mother needed more support than even the most loving son could provide. His questions about my family along with the memory of being the only family present at my mother's funeral left me bitter.

When Irma came asking for a list of relatives and addresses for invitations there wasn't much I wanted to tell her. I didn't want to explain all of this, even to someone as close as Irma had become. I told her I had no close family and reasons for not wanting any distant relatives invited. Audra understood but only because of her own situation. While trying to comfort her about her own feelings I had laid myself bare with her about my own family situation.

Irma was not beyond trying to play one of us against the other in an attempt to get some blood relatives invited. I found later that she had tried to guilt Audra into inviting her parents so that I would see the need to invite my aunts and uncles. She tried the same approach with me. Since Audra and I had already discussed this we were united in our approach to Irma and later to other members of the committee. No family would witness our union.

That's not to say that we didn't have the opportunity to speak with Audra's parents. Almost as soon as they found out about Audra's good fortune they came around with their hands out. I only heard a few loud words as Audra met with them behind the closed doors of the den. I heard a loud, 'but we're your parents, ' practically shouted by her father. Normally quiet Audra then in a shrill voice replied, "Like hell you are."

I started to open the door when it opened as Audra tersely said, "You can leave now."

I could see the lines of the muscles in her jaw standing out as she stared down the glare of her mother. I looked at her father and said, "I think after working here for all of those years you know where the door is."

Momentarily I was afraid the man was going to have a stroke. His face, already red, became almost white as he stared at me. After clearing the spittle running down the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, he gave me a look filled with hatred and rage. After clearing his throat he asked, "You defiler. What have you done to our sweet daughter? I've a good mind to report you to the authorities."

I was fixing to speak when a sharp voice behind me exclaimed, "Samuel Miller, if I hear one more word like that come out of your mouth I will be the one calling for the authorities. The very idea ... threatening a man in his own home! A man who took your daughter in after you threw her out. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, but I can see now that you're not only a crook, but a brazen one at that."

With that Irma put her hands on her hips and stared Audra's father out of the room and out of the house. Audra's mother lagged behind and looked at Irma with pleading eyes. She looked at Irma's feet and asked, "Please, Mrs. Anderson..."

Irma wasn't moved and said, "Kimberly, when you decide to leave that man let me know. Until then I have nothing to say to you."

Audra then walked over to her mom and slipped something in her hand. Afterwards I found it was a small amount of money. Audra considered it repayment of the money that her mother had given her when she left. After Audra slipped her the money her mother looked at it briefly and then said, "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," and slipped out with her husband.

Audra was a wreck after that. She told me later that telling her parents to leave was the hardest thing she had ever done. She felt like talking about it late at night before we drifted off to sleep. She was quietly weeping when she whispered, "I know all my father cares about is money but I think my mom loves me. Was I wrong to send them away?"