Chapter 23

"I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to sleep without holding you."

"I know," says Sarah, with tears in her eyes.

"I want to thank you for the great trust and honors you have bestowed upon me as you stayed here. It is a gift of incalculable measure that I will carry in my heart for all time."

She nods her pretty little head with moist eyes and says, "And I want to thank you for making me feel so safe and loved that ... that I was able to follow my heart and express myself in ways that I thought I would never do again. Even in ways I have never done with anybody else before. It is almost impossible to put into words, but now I am fully content with my heart and its ability to love and share, with my mind as I know there is nothing I cannot do if I put the work in, and my body when before I used to look at myself as odd and gangly and now I see myself as a pretty girl who deserves to be able to share in the good things life has to offer."

Christopher is stunned. He cannot believe those mature well thought out words just came from a nine-year-old girl. He feels stupid, but he can't think of anything to say so he holds up his hand for a high five and then they hug. He clears his throat trying to embrace the moment while still trying not to lose it. "Time to get ready for school."

As they are walking to school, some of the other kids and parents are talking about how Christopher is a hero from yesterday, and even though it is a beautiful warm late March day it only mocks him because he does not feel like a hero. The veteran was wrong when he hit the woman, but as soldiers they were taught to improvise and overcome, and when you are looking through eyes of suffering things become skewed and confused, and at last all you can do is fall back on that which has been embedded into your brain for all time. You will never forget. Moments from the war and moments of struggle at home will flash back to you from time to time as powerful as the day they happened.

As they are walking along, Christopher starts saying out loud a line from a poem he had written shortly after he returned home from his third tour. How many times in his life has his sanity been saved by being able to express what is going on inside him by putting it into words? Maybe he let it get the best of him by becoming withdrawn and surly, but a little girl has long since showed him the errors of his ways. "However it may change me." As he is saying that he looks down at Sarah and smiles.

Christopher drops Sarah off at school, and not five minutes after he is home there is a knock at the door. "Hello."

"Hi," says Christopher, to the pretty blonde lady standing at his door.

"I know you have lived in the community for almost two months now, but I just wanted to welcome you by giving you an apple pie."

"Oh! Okay, well, thank you very much. My name is Christopher."

"My name is Sandy."

"Well, Sandy, it has been a pleasure getting to know you, but here in a moment I have to go pick up Nan from the hospital and bring her home."

"How is she doing?"

"Fine, as far as I know."

She starts to walk away, but she stops and turns around. "Can I just say one more thing?"

"Sure."

"I think it is wonderful how you have helped Sarah come out of her shell. For years she would look down at her feet and hurry to school, not talking to anybody. If you said hi to her she would burn crimson and speed up. Now she is a little chatterbox making sure everybody is having a good day. And thank god Nan let you buy her some pretty clothes. She is way too pretty of a girl to be dressing down like she was."

"That's what I thought. However, in truth, most of the efforts were Sarah's as she had the courage to approach me."

"Well, the whole neighborhood just thinks it is wonderful what you have done for her and Nan, paying for the doctor bills and all."

"How do you know about that?"

"Sorry, small community and all." She smiles sweetly and leaves.

Knowing he still has time, Christopher takes Sarah's computer and most of her clothes back home. He turns their heater on a little higher to get the chill out of the air, and then he leaves to go pick Nan up.

"Good morning, Doc. How is the patient?"

"Well..."

"He knows, I told him."

"Ah, well if we treat her she can live probably another couple of months on top of the six months to a year, but at her age the treatments would make these last moments worse than they have to be. For now she is fine, and we are going to do several treatments of radiation just to slow the spreading of the cancer down."

"Is there a program where I can pay for a nurse to look in on her once a day?"

"Yes, let me get the paperwork from the nurses' desk."

"How is Sarah?"

"She is fine. She wants her Nana home."

"I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me and Sarah."

"And I want to thank you. You really had no reason to trust me, since you had only known me less than two months the first time, but you did, and I am a better person because of it. Thank you."

"Sarah loves you and trusts you, and that is all that matters to me. In truth I was a little concerned when I saw how fast you two got attached, but it has been a splendid journey to watch from the outside, and the smile I see not just on her lips but in her eyes as well makes it all worth the worrying. Which by the way no longer exists.

"I talked with Karen about everything and she is thinking it over. She loves Sarah too, and only wants what is best for her."

"As long as Sarah is happy and I can remain in her life, no matter how it turns out, I will abide by whatever the four of us can come up with."

"Here you go. Give them a call when you get home and they will send somebody right out."

"Thank you, Doc. You ready?"

Nan nods as she gets into the wheelchair so the orderly can escort them out.

As they are driving home, Nan says, "I hear you stopped a kidnapper a couple of days ago?"

"How the hell did you hear about that?"

"One of the nurses who works on this wing lives in the area. You know small communities, there are very few secrets."

Christopher shakes his head and smiles. It has actually been very nice living in the community. Maybe that too has helped him find his real self again

"He wasn't really a kidnapper. He is the boy's father, and the mother is using his war record against him in the divorce so he felt he had no other alternative. He was still wrong and will pay for it dearly, I am afraid, but I have offered to get him some help when he gets out."