Chapter 15

You’d be so nice to come home to...
You’d be so nice by the fire
While the breeze on high sang a lullaby
You’d be all that I could desire

Cole Porter

This is the best birthday I’ve ever had, and it just keeps getting better.

Valeria sat in the copilot’s seat of a new TBM 930 and Case was at the controls. They were holding at the threshold of the runway as they prepared to take off from Augusta Regional Airport.

Yesterday I celebrated with the Reynolds family and Barnwell friends. I knew Case was coming, but after three months I was so excited to see him the hour-long car ride from Barnwell to the Augusta airport to pick him up seemed to take forever.

She was wearing headphones, but only half listening to the conversation between Case and the control tower. He was dressed casually in a white button-down shirt and tan slacks, but everything else about him, from his look of concentration to using what she thought of as his ‘pilot’s voice’ on the radio said professional.

He’s so thoughtful. He took delivery of a new plane from the leasing company in Charleston and then made time to come home to Barnwell to help me celebrate. Now I’m flying with him to Austin!

I’m sitting in this narrow cockpit so close to Case our shoulders are almost touching on the first leg of my journey home to Lodi. I’m excited, but I’m also sad to be leaving my home in Barnwell.

Home?

She shook her head slightly as she considered where she’d been living the last three months.

Some ancient Roman wrote ‘home is where the heart is.’ He was right, except my heart is in two homes. The Reynolds family made a home for me in Barnwell when I was lost and afraid. At first, I thought they’d hate me, then I was afraid they’d try to make me a substitute for Juliet, but neither happened. I just became their third daughter, sister to Chloe, and friend to Isabela and Luciana – accepted first into their household then into their community – loved and comforted by the family during their time of tragedy. I know I have to get back to Lodi – back to grandfather, and Jessica, Harrison and Jenny, but I’m torn – I want to stay, but I have to go.

The plane vibrated as Case applied takeoff power and they started to move. Valeria saw the Reynolds family as they stood outside the general aviation building. She tried hard to smile as she raised her hand to acknowledge their frantic waving. The plane rapidly picked up speed and gently lifted into the perfectly clear sky of a Georgia spring morning.

Suddenly, tears streaked her cheeks. She retrieved a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at her eyes and nose.

They climbed out over the lush spring foliage of eastern Georgia, and after a few minutes Case seemed happy with how the plane was flying and set the auto-pilot. Seeing her distress, he reached over and gently placed a warm hand over hers. He didn’t say anything.

After a few moments Valeria asked, “Does it ever get any easier? I mean leaving, that is...”

He stared straight ahead out of the cockpit as he considered her question for what seemed a long time.

“It’s never easy. Some times are less difficult than others, but leaving people you love and who love you tears at your heart.”

Valeria nodded. “I’m so sad to be leaving my family – because even after only three months they’re my family. I told your parents that I’ll never forget how they took me in and loved me despite...”

Valeria sniffed and wiped her eyes.

Case squeezed her hand.

“They know I’ll always think of them as the parents I didn’t have, and I’ll be back very soon. I’ve invited them to Lodi, too.”

She paused and then went on. “Mom, I mean your Mom...”

“Valeria, I don’t mind that you call her ‘Mom.’ It seems so natural and seeing you together, I know she thinks of you as her daughter. Hearing you call her Mom after I got home yesterday, made me happy for both of you since it was said with such love.”

Valeria looked out the side window in an unsuccessful attempt to stem a new flood of tears. A couple of tissues later she looked across at him.

“She told me to never forget I have a birth mother. I told her I hated that woman and could never think of her as anyone but the person who abandoned me – abandoned me so she could run away to a place halfway around the world. I was nine years old. Did she hate me so much she had to leave?”

She said the last with a sob as she buried her head in her hands. Case moved his hand to her shoulder and rubbed gently through the soft cotton fabric of her peach sweater.

Once she’d calmed slightly, Valeria looked up. “Over the last couple of months, Mom made me realize that hate is toxic, and that I had to let it go so forgiveness could begin the healing...”

“She’s a wise woman.”

Valeria missed the warmth of his hand when he took it from her shoulder to do something with the radio.

“Yes. With the whole family helping, I’ve learned to let that hatred go, but it’s been hard. In eleven years, I’ve never heard from my birth mother. Mom asked me if I knew where she was, and when I told her I have a street address in Seville, she made me promise to get in touch with her.”

“That sounds like Mom. And have you?”

Valeria shook her head. “I’ve been putting it off. I don’t know what to say.”

Case nodded thoughtfully, and then after a minute or so, suggested, “How about sending her a photo? We could take a picture of you here in the plane and you could tell her about your birthday and how you got your first flying lesson.”

“First flying lesson?” Valeria looked at him wide-eyed.

“Of course. For today you’re a temporary employee of Air-Bytes, so you could fly with me since we’re not authorized to carry passengers. Why shouldn’t I use the opportunity to put you to work?” He winked at her.

“You really mean it?” Her gaze flicked across the large colorful screens mounted in the control panel of the aircraft. Eyes shimmering, she gave a slight smile. “Okay.”

He grinned. “You could send her photos of your two-day birthday, starting with yesterday’s celebration in Barnwell, and then go on to show her how you piloted a plane on a cross-country flight from Georgia to Austin. Also include some photos from your second birthday party at Jonas and Kesi’s house this afternoon.”

“I could, couldn’t I? That would tell her I’m doing fine without her.”

Case shook his head. “That’s not the purpose – well, maybe a little bit, but what you’re saying is that you’re twenty now and you’re doing well and you have friends and family in Georgia and Texas as well as California.”

Valeria gave that some thought. “And I could tell her about your family – I mean my new family.”

“Yes ... but you could also ask her about her family – you have a brother and sister you’ve never met.”

Valeria frowned. “Do you think she’ll answer?”

“I don’t know, but I’m guessing she will.”

“Why?”

“Have you ever considered how guilty she must feel?”

“Mom asked me that, too, but why hasn’t she ever contacted me?”

“And what did Mom say?”

“She said we all put things off for various reasons, and the more you put the thing off the harder it is to actually do it – finally you just give up because you think it’s too late.”

“Too late to contact you or too late to make amends?”

Valeria examined the Georgia scenery below for a few seconds. “Both, I guess.”

“So, when you contact her, you’ll find out.”

Sounding uncertain, she replied in a small voice, “What if she doesn’t answer?”

“Then that will be an answer, too, and then you can close that chapter of your life and concentrate on your future with the families you have.”

Valeria smiled and said softly as if talking to herself. “Families ... Yes, I’m lucky I have two families now. One in Barnwell and Grandfather in Lodi.”

He smiled and shook his head. “But what about your Jessica and Harrison family? They aren’t just your employers. I saw you with them and Jenny, and even for that short time, I could tell they care a great deal about you, and Jenny thinks you’re her big sister.”

A ghost of a smile flitted across her face as she nodded. “Yes, that’s right. So, I have three.”

“And what about Ramón? Where does he fit?”

She looked puzzled. “Ramón? He’s not really family, he gets paid to protect me.”

Why did I say that? He’s been with me and Grandfather for a long time. Family? He’s always around and he does so much to take care of me.

“So, you don’t see him as family, even though he spends all his time looking after you – not just protecting you?”

Valeria hesitated as she pondered his question. “You’re right. He does more than protect me ... but Grandfather does pay him.”

“Like Jessica pays you...”

“That’s different...”

“Is it?”

He let that sink in for a few moments. “How many years has Ramón been taking care of you and your grandfather?”

Valeria considered his question. “I remember Ramón coming to our home when I was probably ten or eleven. I don’t know how or why. One day he was just there. He was maybe fifteen or sixteen and I think he’d been in a gang, but Grandfather saw something ... made him finish school, too.”

“And when did he become your protector?”

“The day I went to work for Jessica and Harrison.” She paused. “It was Christmas Day, a little over three years ago. I was sixteen.” She stared at the large colorful control panel map screen in front of them as she added softly, “Almost seventeen...”

“And he lives at your Grandfather’s house?”

Valeria shook her head. “He used to, but now he lives at the Hacienda, and is there except for those times I’m staying with Grandfather – it just makes more sense since I usually stay with Jessica and Harrison. And three days a week we’d go to San Joaquin college together.”

“He mentioned he escorted you there.”

“Yes. Well, it started that way, but Grandfather had him enroll in the classes I took. He said since Ramón was there anyway...”

“And how’s he doing?”

Valeria brightened. “He’s an ‘A’ student.”

“And do you study together?”

“Of course.” She said it in such a way that made it clear that given the situation, it should be obvious.

“And when you start at a four-year college this fall, will he go with you?”

Valeria nodded. “We’ve both been accepted at the Eberhardt School of Business at the University of the Pacific in Stockton. We’re already taking some business classes there since it’s less than a mile from San Joaquin Delta College. I can keep working for Jessica, but Luna will have to step up a bit.”

“Like she’s doing now?”

“Yes...” Valeria gave a tight smile. “She still has a few things to learn, but she doesn’t call me anymore, and Jessica and Harrison really like her.”

Case grinned. “Worried you won’t have a job much longer?”

She thought about that. “No, but I won’t be there forever anyway.” She paused before asking, “Now where were you going with all the questions about Ramón?”

“Ramón wants to be more than the guy who protects and takes care of you.”

“What? What else is there? Oh!”

“Don’t look so surprised.”

“She shook her head. “Like I said, Ramón gets paid to watch over me.”

I really don’t believe that. He’s my friend too.

“And like I said, Jessica pays you to look after her and Harrison and Jenny, but they are as much your family as anyone.”

She looked out the side window and was silent for maybe a half minute.

Case, I want it to be you, not Ramón!

When she turned his way again, she blurted, “Case, I want to be with you and have you take care of me. I love you, not Ramón.”

There, I finally said it! He’s just sitting there smiling that little smile of his. Why’s he not saying anything? I know he cares about me.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why do you think you love me?”

Think? I know I do!

She thought about his question and finally responded, “Because, you’re Case, and I know you care about me.”

“I do care about you and so does Ramón. So, what makes me more worthy of your love than Ramón, whom you’ve known half your life, as opposed to three months?”

Valeria opened her mouth and then abruptly shut it.

Why is this so hard to figure out? Can’t someone fall in love in just a few days or weeks?

Case talked to some people on the radio for a few minutes and then turned back to her.

“After he went back to Lodi, how often did you talk to Ramón?”

I don’t want to talk about Ramón any longer, but I’ll humor him.

“Well ... not so much at first because he was busy with all the troubles with the gangs, but after a couple of weeks ... every night.”

“Uh, huh.”

Valeria crossed her arms. “He’d fill me in on what was happening at home and at the Hacienda and we’d talk about our classes – we’d study together. He went to my professors and got permission for me to take my courses on-line.”

She was quiet for a few seconds before she added defensively, “You and I talk or text almost every day.”

Case nodded and then asked, “How would you feel if something happened to Ramón?”

“Huh? How could anything happen? Things are pretty much back to normal in Lodi.”

“After he left Barnwell, did you worry knowing there could be trouble with that gang from Oakland and maybe some others from down the Valley?”

She shook her head and it appeared that she was going to deny it, but she went quiet. Finally, she said softly, “I did worry.”

“And did you miss him?”

Realization dawned on her and she slowly nodded.

I did miss him – a lot.

Valeria took her time in answering. “After you both left, I was kind of lost. I mean, Ramón’s been around me constantly for three years and has been part of Grandfather’s household – as you say – half my life. I got used to him being by my side or somewhere close. I’d find myself turning around to say something to him and he wasn’t there...”

He’s not just my protector. I care about him! Yes. Of course, because he’s my friend. He’s maybe five years older. We talk about everything and anything ... but...

Ramón’s handsome face and infectious smile came to mind.

Get that image out of your head. I love Case!

Finally, she turned back toward Case. “I’m pretty attached, aren’t I?”

Case nodded.

“But, does he really care about me? I mean, I’m sure Grandfather pays him well.”

“Valeria, Ramón would protect you and care for you without pay. I’ve watched him around you and it’s obvious that he loves you.”

She slowly shook her head. “I’m having trouble believing that. All this time – he’s been my friend but he’s never done or said anything...”

“Valeria, not everyone is good about verbalizing their love, or they’re uncertain how expressions of love would be received, or if the object of their love feels the same way. I expect he never said anything because he didn’t want to screw up your friendship if you rejected him. But every day he does the things that make your life safer and easier – not because he gets paid but because he loves you.”

“Oh.” She said softly. Valeria wanted to deny it, but the words caught in her throat. She turned and looked out the window, watching the white puffy clouds for a couple of minutes.

He doesn’t ... He can’t. So many times, he’s seen me at my worst. Those early teen years when I was a perra and dressed like a puta. And for the past three years seeing me in the mornings, rushing out of the ‘Y’, phone attached to my ear, ignoring him, sometimes grumpy until I’d had my first latté, which he’d have waiting in the car, putting on my makeup while he was driving. Some evenings I didn’t want to study or write a paper, but he was so gentle with his persuasion that before I knew it, we’d be sitting at the table in the family dining room with our laptops, and books scattered about – with our phones turned off.

She thought about all those other times when his presence made her feel safe. She never had to deal with those immature college boys hitting on her because he was sitting next to her in class, or by her side as they walked through campus, or just walking around Lodi.

There was that time when that crazy drunk ex-husband of the girl in La Banda Sage threatened me. I wasn’t afraid because Ramón was with us.

Valeria closed her eyes.

And that night – the nightmare at Christmas. He appeared out of nowhere and I’ll never forget the look of concern – fear? – on his face when he thought I was hurt. But then, suddenly, he was so calm as he asked if I was okay. I had trouble with my voice and could only nod, but then finally I said, ‘Juliet’s hurt.’ He picked her out of my lap like she weighed nothing and ran to the emergency room. And later, even though he was worried about my safety, he helped me find Case at the hospital to check on Juliet.

How could I not know he’s more than a friend? How could I not care for him?

She turned and looked at Case. “But ... but, after ... Christmas, while we were in Barnwell, he was...” She searched for a word. “Distant. It’s better now since we’ve been talking on the phone and since classes started again, studying together. I thought it was because he blamed me, or was disappointed...”

Case shook his head. “Far from it. It’s Ramón who feels terribly guilty about what happened. The fact you were almost kidnapped and came close to being killed with all the gunfire has shaken him.”

“But it wasn’t his fault! I was the stupid one.”

“It wasn’t just about fault. It was the horrible thought that he almost lost you that shook him. In his mind he wasn’t doing his job and that put you in grave danger and also resulted in Juliet’s death.”

Valeria shook her head.

Case continued, “Perhaps because of that failure he feels he’s not worthy of your love.”

“But, but, he’s a wonderful man. How could he think that?”

“Because it’s not just his job to protect you, it’s his reason for living – to take care of you. The fact he loves you complicates things.”

“Oh?”

“Has Ramón ever taken a vacation?”

She thought for a few moments and shook her head. “Not that I can think of.”

“Does he get a day off? I’m sure your grandfather has other people who could step in.”

“He’s supposed to get Sunday off. I’m usually with Grandfather on Sunday.”

“And?”

She looked at Case realization dawning. “He goes to Mass with us and then he just kind of hangs around.”

“Meals on Sunday?”

“Sundays are pretty informal but he joins us for dinner.”

“And is it just you and your grandfather and Ramón?”

She nodded.

“Sounds like you both enjoy his company and Sunday dinner for the three of you has become a family tradition.”

Valeria nodded thoughtfully. “Yes ... But you make it sound like Ramón has no life outside of watching over me.”

“We’ve established that he doesn’t take vacations, and on his day off he’s with you and your grandfather, so what about dating?”

Valeria blushed slightly, picturing the girls on campus flirting with Ramón. Several had approached at different times in the cafeteria or between classes and invited him to join ‘study’ groups.

“I think Ramón chooses not to date because he just doesn’t have the time ... His full-time job is watching over me and then there’s school work on top of that.”

Case just looked at her, his expression unreadable.

That even sounds lame to me...

Valeria cringed inwardly.

What must he have thought those weeks in Barnwell after Christmas when I trailed Case everywhere, most of the time hanging on to his hand or arm? And all those evenings when I sat with Case in the porch swing, and my morning walks with Case?

Valeria closed her eyes again as memories of Ramón washed over her, especially the last three years.

I remember that first Christmas Day of my new life with Jessica. I was at home fuming like a spoiled child because Grandfather had made a deal with that perra rubia Jessica – the one who said I dressed like a puta – to be her slave, and I was going to have to attend that stupid Christmas event at the church hall and help out. Then he announced that Ramón would be taking care of me from that day forward. I didn’t want anyone watching over me – spying on me.

Valeria sighed as she remembered that scene.

Ramón has a great poker face but when Grandfather called him into his office at home and announced – as I was sitting pouting on his office sofa – he was going to be my protector from that day on, I got just a glimpse of his ... shock? Disappointment?

She almost laughed at the memory.

Valeria took her time reexamining that thought.

That explains a lot. And of course, Grandfather knows and approves! Duh.

But, how do I feel?

“Valeria?” She realized he’d said her name more than once and turned toward him.

“Where will Ramón be in five years, or ten years?”

“With me, of course. Where else would he be?”

Case turned his attention back to the front as he deadpanned, “Of course.”

Valeria sat dumbfounded.

Is Case just a fantasy, while Ramón is my reality? And my future?

I need more time to think!

They flew in silence for about a half hour while Valeria pondered their discussion, and explored her feelings.

I’m supposed to be smart. Case saw it, and Grandfather certainly knows how Ramón feels. Why haven’t I realized all this before? More importantly, why didn’t I realize how I felt? Did I just take him for granted? He’s been a constant presence for nine or ten years and I rely on him for so many things. He’s my friend, and more and more my confidant. I was pretty quick with my response when Case asked where I saw Ramón in five or ten years. Why? Because I couldn’t imagine him not being by my side.

Valeria felt a tingle of excitement.

After the barbeque in Austin I’ll be on my way back to Lodi on a chartered jet so sometime tonight I’ll be back with Ramón and Grandfather. Ramón and I will make some time to talk, maybe we can go on a date.

She stifled a giggle.

Date? After being together for so many years why would we bother?

She thought about that.

Because being on a date means something more.

Maybe we could start by watching a movie – just the two of us – at the Hacienda. Wonder what it’s like to kiss him ... Stop!!

“Ready for your birthday flying lesson?”

Valeria was pulled from her reverie, “Huh?”

“I promised to put you to work – you have to earn your keep for today as an employee of Air-Bytes.”

She looked at him, her expression uncertain now that she was faced with the prospect of flying a powerful multimillion-dollar aircraft.

“You sure?”

Case grinned. “Hey Princess, you expect me to do all the work?”

That got the expected giggle from Valeria, followed by a look of determination.

“Okay. How hard can it be if you’re doing it? From what I see, you pretty much sit there and let the auto-pilot run things while you talk on the radio.” She tried unsuccessfully to look serious.

He laughed.

For the next hour Valeria learned how something that looked so easy – flying straight and level – while Case was doing it, could be so hard when tried by a novice.

Valeria was relieved when he had her engage the auto-pilot and she could sit back and relax again.

He really does make it look so easy. Me? I feel like I need a shower.

Case turned to her. “Nicely done. You have very good reflexes and spatial awareness – all important for a pilot.”

“Really? I feel like such a klutz. I can’t imagine trying to take off or land.”

“Take offs are not all that hard, but landings are another thing altogether.”

“No auto-pilot for those, huh?”

He smiled and shook his head. “Seriously, you did great for your first time, especially since most people start out in something a lot smaller, and slower, although the TBM is a relatively easy aircraft to fly and pretty forgiving.”

“Easy for you to say.” She laughed.

“Well, for what it’s worth, if you can fit in some flying lessons when you get back to Lodi, I think you’d enjoy it.”

“Thanks.” She thought for a few seconds. “Between school and working for Jessica, God knows when I’d find the time.”

A vision of a quiet evening with Ramón, sitting in front of the fire on the sofa in the great room of the Hacienda, made her smile. Suddenly she was eager to see him.

Case turned to Valeria as he taxied the aircraft toward the Air-Bytes hangar. “Welcome to Austin.”

Grinning, she touched his hand. “That was wonderful. Thank you.”

As Case taxied, he glanced at the time/distance display. It showed a distance of 952 miles in just under three hours from wheels-up at Augusta Regional. He was pleased that the aircraft had performed flawlessly. They had gained an hour when they entered the Central US time zone so it was just after 10 am in Austin. He smiled as he noticed a gleaming Gulfstream sitting on the apron just to the side of the large entrance to the hangar.

Since it was Saturday there wasn’t much activity around the hangar, but they were still met by chief mechanic Miguel Esparza with the tug. He made sure he was on hand for the delivery of every new aircraft. This one was number five and the last one for now, although Case knew that with the new NASA contract, linking Austin, Houston, New Orleans, Huntsville, and the Kennedy Space Center, in the offing, they would exercise the option on the lease on the other two aircraft in the next couple of months.

As the tug pulled them into the hanger, Valeria turned to Case excitedly and pointed out her side window, “There’s Grandfather and Ramón, and Jessica, Harrison and Jenny!”

She examined him for a second. “You knew, didn’t you?”

Case grinned. “Surprise. Happy birthday!”

So that’s their Gulfstream parked outside the hangar. They didn’t just charter a plane to take me to Lodi tonight, they came too – both my Lodi families. They all look so happy and pleased with themselves. I’m glad they’re all here – makes my birthday extra special.

Suddenly she felt uncertain.

I really have missed Ramón. Of course, because I care about him - he’s my friend, and protector, but why did my heart suddenly skip when I saw him? Is Case right? Does Ramón love me? Does my reaction mean I love him? How am I even going to greet him?

She tried to think of a time when she’d even hugged him.

Taking his arm going to class hardly counts.

The plane came to a halt as she tried to figure out what she was going to do.

Okay, everyone gets hugs. I’ve been gone three months so that would only be natural. Wonder what he’ll do?

Valeria suppressed a giggle as she pictured Ramón’s surprised face.

What would he do if I kissed him? No, let’s not go crazy, but we’ll all be together at the barbeque at Jonas and Kesi’s house.

Valeria was lost in thought and was surprised when Case removed her headphones.

“You okay?”

She nodded and as he began to unbuckle his safety harness, she stopped him. He looked concerned as she made an unsuccessful attempt at a smile.

“He loves me? You sure?”

Case nodded.

“And you think I probably love him?”

“Yes.”

“And not you?”