Chapter 12

Irving Berlin

Feeling unsettled, Valeria stared out the window of the large SUV. She was oblivious to the drab South Carolina late December scenery as she clutched Case’s hand. Ramón was driving and she and Case were seated in the second row.

This is no time to fall apart, I have to be strong. I’ve talked to Case’s mother every day, so why am I so nervous?

Suddenly it was all there again – the noise from the gunshots, the blood splattering her face and hair, the breaking glass, the man dragging her from Juliet’s SUV, fighting him until he knocked her to the ground, and then crawling to Juliet and cradling her head in her lap until Ramón appeared.

Fighting the darkness, she shivered and pressed herself against Case, letting go of his hand and throwing her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest as he held her.

He didn’t say anything, and eventually she calmed. Valeria didn’t let go, needing his warmth and the reassuring feel of his arms around her.

Case told me this would happen – the flashbacks, the nightmares. Why did this happen to me?

She fought the urge to wallow in self-pity.

Stop it! This isn’t about you. Those men were evil and Juliet killed them. You’re the lucky one. A bruise on the face and flashbacks? That’s nothing. Juliet’s dead, you’re alive. And why is she dead? Because you were too stupid to recognize what was going on. You’re good at fixing things, but you can’t fix this. These few days with the Reynolds family are about Juliet. There’s no way I can convince myself, or them, that my life is worth the sacrifice Juliet made. I just have to show them that I’m grateful, and maybe someday I can show them I am worthy of that sacrifice.

Valeria released her grip and settled against Case. She briefly looked at Ramón in the rearview mirror, catching his look of concern, and smiled slightly to reassure him. Case kept an arm around her as she pressed against his chest. She closed her eyes, just feeling secure, letting Case’s warmth and strength wash over her.

Another disturbing thought intruded. Would they ever accept me as part of the family? I can’t take Juliet’s place ... but if I can show them that I love Case, then maybe...

The sun was low in the sky on the winter-shortened day as the SUV slowed and turned from the main highway onto the long gravel drive leading to his family home. Case felt Valeria stirring. She looked around. She’d been sitting close, or pressed against him, for the entirety of the hour-long trip from the Augusta, Georgia Regional Airport.

After what he suspected was a flashback, she’d finally relaxed against his chest and dozed for a few minutes. Now Case watched her look of uncertainty grow to one of nervousness. He moved his arm from around her and took her hand.

“We’re here. You’ll be fine.”

She squeezed his hand almost painfully as the house came into view.

I wish there was some way to reassure Valeria that things really will be okay. It has to be hard on her - we’re two thousand miles from her grandfather and home, meeting the family of a woman who died protecting her. She shouldn’t blame herself for Juliet’s death, but she does.

Coming up the long gravel drive, the house he grew up in looked pretty much the same as when he saw it last, two years ago. He’d spent a month here, just after he’d been released from Walter Reed. It had been a relaxing time and he had let his mother, Vivian, and Luciana Alvarez, the housekeeper and cook, pamper him. He tried to resist at first, but his father advised Case to let them spoil him.

“She never let on to you, but when we got the news you were wounded and being evacuated, she was terrified. She hardly slept until she actually saw you at Walter Reed.”

The house was a brick and wood rambler that was built by his parents. Additions and improvements were made as the family expanded, especially bathrooms to accommodate his two sisters.

On the plane Valeria had changed into a dark cashmere sweater and skirt, with dark tights and flats. Over that she wore a three-quarter length fitted leather jacket. She looked as if she’d just stepped from the cover of some magazine dedicated to fashionable young women. Her appearance was marred only by the haunted look in her eyes, and by her bruised face. She had applied some makeup but had not tried to hide the evidence of the attack.

Case was dressed casually – slacks, white button-down shirt and his flight jacket. Ramón was dressed similarly, except for a corduroy sport coat which covered a pancake holster at the small of his back.

Valeria retrieved her Prada tote from the floor, pulled out a brush, some lipstick, and a mirror, and quickly made some adjustments to her appearance. The SUV came to a halt as she finished and she looked at Case.

“Do I look okay?”

She blushed slightly and gave him an uncertain smile, as he replied, “You look beautiful.”

She is beautiful, but only nineteen! And, if I’m too old for Vika, I’m positively ancient next to this girl – yes, girl. I’ve never met Rafael Ramirez, but somehow despite Ramón’s insistence that Ramirez owes a dept to our family, I don’t think he’d appreciate the idea of Valeria with an old, broken-down airplane driver.

Case hid a smile as he had a vision of Ramón, perhaps regretfully, making him disappear.

Ramón got out first and came around and opened the back door, As Case got out, he saw his parents and his sister, Chloe, come out onto the covered porch that ran the length of the front of the house. They were followed by Mrs. Alvarez and her daughter Isabela, and to his surprise, his cousin Meghan. Then he remembered she and Chloe went to Georgia Tech together, and shared an off-campus apartment.

He turned and took Valeria’s hand and helped her from the SUV. It was his turn to give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Still holding Valeria’s hand, they walked up the wide porch steps followed by Ramón.

“Mom, Dad, this is Valeria Ramirez.”

At that point Valeria lost her composure and ran to Case’s mother who opened her arms to the sobbing girl.

The women closed ranks and moved into the house, leaving him with his Dad, Isabela, and Ramón.

Ten-year-old Isabela approached, her face sad, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry about Juliet.” The pretty dark-haired Latina was dressed in jeans and a sweater, and had put on a growth spurt since he’d seen her last. Case and Isabela had become friends when he’d been recuperating, and since then, they had communicated frequently, mostly by text. She loved the photos taken from his airplane, especially those of clouds. She told him that she had mounted and framed so many that one wall of her bedroom was now covered.

He knelt and opened his arms and she moved close for a hug.

Five years ago, her mother Luciana, a Cuban refugee, had fled Miami and an abusive marriage. She ended up, broke and homeless, eight hundred miles north at the Presbyterian church food bank in Barnwell. Case’s mother had volunteered that day, and brought the woman and her daughter home. It was his father, Charlie, who convinced Vivian that Luciana Alvarez would be a great help around the house. They converted the space above the large garage to an apartment and Luciana and Isabela had been there since. His parents treated Isabela like a daughter, and she helped fill the empty nest after Chloe left for Georgia Tech.

Charlie had become the father figure in her life and Case had become her first crush.

Looking back toward the front door, Isabela frowned and asked, “Is she your girlfriend?”

Trying very hard not to smile, he responded, “No, I’m waiting for you to grow up so you can be my girlfriend.”

His attempt at levity fell flat.

“But you were holding her hand...”

Case could see his father over her shoulder. He smiled and shrugged, letting Case know he was on his own. His dad announced, “I’m going to take Ramón inside and get him settled.”

Case got to his feet, took Isabela’s hand and led her to the porch swing.

Sitting beside her, he formulated his thoughts, and finally said, “I’ve only known Valeria for a few days, but she’s been through quite a bit. She was with Juliet when she was killed.”

Isabela’s dark eyes widened.

“The men who killed Juliet were trying to kidnap Valeria, so she blames herself for Juliet’s death.”

“Oh.”

“So, right now, she needs friends to help her with all that happened to her. I’m one of those friends.”

Isabela nodded as she digested that information.

“Her face ... that bruise?”

“One of the kidnappers punched her when she tried to resist.”

She gently touched the bruise on his face. “And you?”

He smiled slightly. “A man said something bad about Juliet and we got in a fight.”

She raised her eyebrows, questioning.

“He’s in the hospital.”

She nodded her approval, paused thoughtfully, and then with a determined look, said, “I’ll be her friend, too.”

“Thank you.”

“On Sunday, we’ll take her to Mass and light a candle for Juliet.”

“I think she’d like that.”

Case’s father reappeared. “Isabela, may I borrow Case for a few minutes?”

She let go of Case’s hand and stood. She sounded very grown up as she announced, “I’ll go and see if Valeria needs anything.”

“Take a walk?”

Case and his father walked in silence for a few minutes in the twilight. As he matured, he had proudly become the image of his father in features and temperament. He had also inherited his father’s ability to stay silent. It wasn’t that he was taciturn; Charlie Reynolds could best be described as contemplative. He was a man who always thought before he spoke.

He was also strong from a lifetime on his parents’ farm and then his own. He was used to farm labor, and usually he walked with a purpose. Tonight, Case noticed his footsteps were slowed and he seemed diminished, as if he carried a great weight. Unexpectantly, Case was reminded of the passage in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol when Bob Cratchit’s oldest son, Peter, describes his father shortly after the death of Tiny Tim, as shown by the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: ‘But I think he’s walked a little slower than he used, these few last evenings, mother.’

They walked in silence across the driveway toward the orchards. The barren trees, planted in neat rows, were dormant but tidy, the orchard prepared for spring.

Finally, his father spoke. “We really don’t know much...”

Case thought for a few moments and then told his father the details of the shooting that killed Juliet, and the reasons behind it.

“Four on one, but she killed all the shooters?”

“Yes.”

He nodded. “And this guy, Ramón ... does he have a last name?”

“Not that I’ve ever heard.”

“Anyway, this guy Ramón ... You think he took out the rest of the people responsible?”

“For sure he took out Pedro Sanchez...”

“Who was supposed to be Valeria’s father?”

“Yes, but she doesn’t know that.”

“Okay, and the rest?”

“I’m confident not many of the gang survived.”

“Why?”

“Ramón is Valeria’s bodyguard. He feels responsible for her trauma since he wasn’t there to protect her, so I expect he and Valeria’s grandfather took it out on anyone still standing.”

“So, why’s he here now? Expecting trouble?”

“No, I don’t think so, but his job is to take care of Valeria. He came along to make sure it’s safe here, and probably, more importantly right now, to be supportive. He’s the familiar face and he’s been watching out for Valeria since she was a child.”

They walked through the silent orchard without speaking for a few minutes. Case recalled how much he loved the peacefulness of this place. Leaving home had been a shock as he experienced the almost constant background noise that typified his life at the Academy. Then through training, war, and his current occupation, deafening noise had been an accompaniment to his life since.

I was lucky to have grown up here. Could I come back? No, as much as I love the silence, especially at night, I’m not a farmer. I don’t know the soil and the plants and I can’t taste the air to know the weather like Mom, Dad and Chloe. The farm and these orchards are going to be Chloe’s responsibility. She loves this place and she’ll do great here.

“How’s Mom doing?”

His father thought for a bit. “We’ve been married a long time, and I know her better than anyone. She’s hurting and she’s still in shock. She’s trying to hold herself together to get through these next few days. Most of the family will get here tomorrow and we’ll host some kind of meal here and then the inurnment will be in the morning the day after. It’ll only be for the family and a few invited guests. After that there’ll be a memorial service at the church. Once all that’s over and the family leaves, well, she can let herself grieve.”

Before he could ask his dad how he was holding up, his father asked, “How long can you stay?”

“Probably a couple of weeks. We have a backup pilot who’ll take my route when we start flying again after the first.”

“And Valeria?”

“I don’t know. At least as long as I’m here anyway.”

“And then what?”

“Huh?”

“You and her?”

The sun was gone and darkness had started to settle. He stopped and looked at his father. “Compared to Valeria, I’m an old man. She won’t even be twenty for a couple of months, and we hardly know each other. We’ve been thrown together because of a tragedy that happened only a few days ago. After such an impossibly short time how could there be a me and her? Right now, she just needs a friend.”

Even in the twilight he could see his father’s serious expression. He nodded. “Maybe you’re right, but I saw the way she looked at you when you got out of the SUV, and the way she held onto your hand. In her mind there’s more than friendship going on. That girl has plans for you, Case.”

Case shook his head.

His father looked back toward the house. “We should be getting back. Dinner soon.”

Case looked around his boyhood room. There really was no trace of him. Right after he left for the Academy his mother had redecorated and his room had become the guest bedroom. On the few occasions he had been home he’d stayed in this room. A queen had replaced his single bed and an antique had replaced his battered chest of drawers.

He put his suitcases on the bed and opened the closet to hang his suits and shirts and few other items, and was surprised to discover his high school varsity letter jacket tucked away in the back.

Why is that still here?

He took it off the hanger and tried it on. The frayed knit cuffs barely reached his wrists. He’d put on an additional growth spurt after he’d entered the Air Force Academy. Looking in the cheval mirror, he saw a tall slender man with short sandy-colored hair, a tanned face, and premature crow’s feet, wearing a kid’s jacket.

I remember the day I got this jacket. I was excited when it arrived, and even more when Mom sewed the letter on it. I had to save up because Mom and Dad made me pay half. I wore it all through high school.

He watched the image in the mirror as he bent forward, the imaginary ball in his right hand behind his back, feeling the stitching, looking at his catcher for the sign. He shook off a couple, then nodded, and went into his windup and let fly.

Strike!

He chuckled. He hadn’t held a baseball in years but wasn’t surprised he still remembered the motion. He and his dad had spent hours perfecting his pitches. He loved the game but after he graduated, he’d rarely held a baseball again.

Now I wear a battered leather Air Force jacket instead. Life wasn’t as complicated back then...

He heard a giggle from the open doorway and looked over. He was startled to see ... Juliet!

No, not Juliet, Chloe. She looks a lot like Juliet. Not just the sibling resemblance, but her mannerisms and posture, and even her speech patterns mimic those of Juliet. Damn! Is that what’s going to happen every time I see her while I’m home?

Case shook his head trying to dispel the image of Juliet as he had last seen her, lifeless on the gurney at the hospital. He swallowed hard as Chloe led Meghan, Valeria, and Isabela into the room. Valeria had exchanged the skirt for jeans and now matched the other girls. He noticed Isabel holding Valeria’s hand.

They could easily pass for sisters.

Chloe examined him. “Glory days, Case?”

He shook his head, now embarrassed, and quickly shed the jacket, tossing it on the bed, as he tried hard not to show the sorrow he felt over the loss of his sister.

That’s the same kind of teasing remark Juliet would make.

Valeria gave him an odd look, and then looked at Chloe.

She caught my reaction. Watch yourself Case, that girl is a lot more perceptive than you thought.

His thoughts were interrupted when Chloe walked over to the bed and picked up the jacket. She held it almost reverently, then caught herself, and forced a smile as she looked around the room.

“When Case lived in this room it was a typical teenage boy pigsty and it smelled like one, too!”

She laughed. It seemed as forced as her smile. Red-haired Meghan joined her. Meghan had spent many summers at the farm, especially after her folks split up. During those summer days she and Chloe had become inseparable and she and Case had developed a comfortable older brother-younger sister relationship. She had confided to Case that she was more comfortable on the farm than with either of her parents, or their new spouses, who lived just outside Augusta, forty-five miles away.

Watching Chloe’s teasing, Valeria wore a slightly puzzled smile, as if trying to equate the man in front of her with the boy being described.

Meghan leaned against the wall, arms crossed as she examined the room and then looked at Case and grinned. “I remember the airplane models hanging from the ceiling, and the airplane posters ... Oh! And the one that used to hang right there.” She blushed slightly as she pointed to the wall above the bed, which now featured a nicely framed Monet print.

Chloe turned to where she’d pointed. “I remember. The naked blonde with the flight helmet placed strategically...” She mimed holding a helmet between her legs, “standing just below the cockpit of some jet plane!”

That produced a round of giggles. Even Valeria responded with a broad smile.

Case interrupted. “Hey, she wasn’t naked, she was wearing a bikini – a string bikini!”

Both Chloe and Meghan rolled their eyes.

I wonder what happened to that poster.

Chloe continued, “Mom hated that poster.”

“I told her it gave me inspiration. Anyway, it must have worked, I’m a pilot!” He laughed, and his sister and cousin just gave him ‘the look.’

Dad, who used to be a crew chief on a C-130, just chuckled when he saw the poster.

Chloe slipped on his letter jacket. She eventually had one of her own from high school volleyball but looking back he remembered seeing her wearing his jacket a few times the summer before he left for the Academy. She was maybe eleven at the time and it was huge on her. Ten years later, with her height and athletic build, it almost fit.

Now serious, Chloe pointed to the wall next to the door to the bathroom. “And there used to be a desk over there and above it, shelves filled with Case’s baseball trophies.” She and Case looked at the wall, remembering those glistening statues of metal and plastic.

Napoleon said, ‘A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.’ I guess those trophies were my high school bits of colored ribbon – we certainly worked hard for them. Worthless junk today. Afghanistan? I didn’t fight for any of those ribbons, and certainly didn’t deserve the ones they gave me, except for the purple one of course. I earned every bit of that one!

“Mom has them packed away in a trunk in the attic.”

Really? I haven’t given them a thought in years. When I was staying in this room two years ago recuperating, my old trophies never crossed my mind. It’s like something that happened to a different person.

Still looking at the wall, Chloe said softly, “I have Case’s championship MVP trophy in my room ... if anyone’s interested.”

Why? Oh!

Suddenly, the memory resurfaced. His final year of high school and winning the state championship.

We were all together – the family, Mom, Dad, Juliet and Chloe – they came to all the home games and most of the away games, and every one of the playoffs. We were happy. I remember the constant cheers from that corner of the bleachers. That championship game and the celebration, was the last time we were all together, doing something as a family. I know she’s remembering those happier times. It was late spring, just before I graduated. A few months later I was gone to the Academy.

We all got together one last time that Christmas two years ago at Walter Reed, but that was different – hardly a happy time. And when I was home recuperating Juliet was already back on the job in Lodi. Why did she have to pick that damn place anyway?

Chloe turned, eyes glistening, and then practically ran to Case, sobbing, and put her arms around his waist and her head on his chest.

Chloe’s world – my family’s world - has fractured. Valeria looks stricken.

Meghan came over and put her arms around both of them; tears streaked her cheeks.

When Case looked up Valeria and Isabela were gone.

Case found Valeria in ‘Juliet’s room.’ At, least he would always think of it that way. Like his, this one also bore no sign of the previous occupant, having been converted to another guest room.

Valeria was lying on the bed with one arm over her eyes, and Isabela was sitting on the bed holding her hand.

Isabela looked up at Case, “Valeria said she was tired and needed to lie down for a bit.”

“Thank you for taking care of her.”

She didn’t reply, but examined him for a moment or two with a quizzical expression as if asking why he was disturbing them.

“Dinner’s almost ready.”

Isabela nodded, and sounding very adult-like, said, “She’s resting. We’ll be along shortly.”

Knowing he’d just been dismissed by a precocious ten-year old, he muttered, “Okay,” and left.

Valeria pushed her food around, covering and uncovering the red rooster pattern on her plate. It was all delicious, but she had little appetite.

Mrs. Alvarez has done wonders with this meal. She keeps bustling about refilling water and wine glasses and making sure the covered dishes on the sideboard are replenished. She calls Case’s mother Doña Vivian.

When she tried to refuse dinner, Isabela, who had taken it upon herself to be Valeria’s friend, told her she would be missing a wonderful meal. She emphasized that her mother and Case’s mother had spent a lot of time on the meal and would be disappointed. She’d discovered that Isabela was a persuasive young woman, and it was a lot easier to go along to dinner than to try to resist.

She reminds me of myself when I was ten. Isabela’s a sweet girl and having her around also reminds me of Jenny. I miss her and the whole Willets/Brandt family and the Hacienda. And I miss Grandfather. Why did I come here?

Isabela had led her by the hand to the dining room and kept an eye on her plate, encouraging her to sample everything, as they moved along the sideboard where the meal was served buffet style.

Valeria took the empty chair next to Case. He boosted her mood as he turned, looking concerned, and lightly touched her arm as she sat. She flushed at what she considered a very intimate gesture.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked softly.

Now I am.

She nodded and reciprocated by briefly placing her hand over his under the table.

Throughout the meal she tried to maintain contact, pressing her knee against his, or touching his arm or hand.

He hasn’t tried to pull away.

She looked up and caught Chloe watching them.

She knows something is going on. Good! I want them all to know Case is my man.

She smiled as she turned to Case, and made a point of leaning in and placing her hand on his forearm as she asked him to pass the butter.

How’s that, Chloe?

Valeria relaxed as the meal went on, and let the conversation ebb and flow around her, contributing when asked a question, but otherwise simply enjoying the informality of this meal where the participants seemed more a welcoming family with each passing minute.

This is surreal. I’m sitting at a dining table with Case’s family and they’re chatting like it’s some normal day. I don’t know how Vivian does it. She’s been asking Case about his job and Chloe and Meghan about school, and she even asked me about my job and what I was studying at school.

Across the table Ramón is having a conversation with Case’s dad about almond orchards in California.

A memory surfaced from long ago that Ramón mentioned that he grew up on a farm in California’s Central Valley that had several acres of almond trees.

That reminded her how little she knew about the enigmatic man who was assigned as her protector. Years ago, she’d asked him how he came to work for her grandfather. He had smiled slightly and said, ‘La voluntad de Dios’- God’s will.

As the meal ended Valeria was surprised to see she’d eaten most of what was on her plate. The easy flow of conversation around the table had eased the knots in her stomach. She declined the peach cobbler dessert, but then it looked so good that she found herself taking bites from Case’s plate. He smiled and teased her about stealing his dessert, and asked why she’d not asked for a plate of her own. She teasingly responded that his tasted better. He chuckled.

At that moment she caught a look of surprise and a hint of a smile from Case’s mother sitting across the table.

With great effort, she kept her smile, as concern crept in. Will she ever be able to accept me? I hope so.

“Why don’t they hate me? Why don’t you hate me? Every time I look at your mother, I see the pain she’s suffering, and I’m the reminder. Why did she invite me?” She pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped her eyes. Her buoyant mood had not carried over from dinner. She was back to being insecure and troubled.

Case and Valeria were sitting on the porch swing. Valeria had appropriated Case’s letter jacket for their mostly silent after dinner walk, and when they returned to the house they detoured to the swing. The evening had turned cold and he put his arm around her as she pressed herself against his chest.

Case gently tilted her chin so she was looking at him, her dark eyes full of tears.

“We don’t hate you, because what happened to Juliet was the fault of a bunch of murderous thugs who were going to kidnap you.”

“But...”

He gently pressed a finger against her lips. “I know, you blame yourself because you fell for their deception, but the fact you could think of nothing more than to rush to your grandfather’s side tells us all you’re a caring person. Your grandfather is the most important person in your life and when we look at what you did, we can see ourselves in that very situation. Loving someone means putting their welfare before our own, but it also makes us vulnerable.”

Valeria looked at him for a few moments as she got used to that idea, and then asked, “But why did your mother invite me?”

“Why did you come?”

More tears. “Because I thought I could help...”

“And you were invited because they wanted to meet you, and thought they could help you.”

“Oh.” She put her head on his chest again and tears soaked the front of his shirt.

He kept up the gentle rocking motion of the swing as he stroked her hair, trying to comfort her as if she were a child. Eventually she stilled.

“Case, breakfast in about thirty ... Oh.”

His mother’s soft knocking had awakened him, but he couldn’t move, much less hide the fact that Valeria was half sprawled on top of him as he lay in bed. He watched his mother’s embarrassed, hasty retreat. There was some daylight showing through the curtains. He looked at the bedside clock. It was a little after eight.

Well, that could have been better ... It’s not like we’re naked and the room reeks of sex – not at all. Valeria’s wearing what feels like silk pajamas, and I’m wearing – well, boxers and a T-shirt. We’re sort of dressed. I expect, from Mom’s brief look it was hard to tell what we were, or were not, wearing. No, my mother probably thinks I’m some kind of cradle-robbing pervert.