Chapter 20: Saying Goodbye and Moving On

The next couple of weeks were hard on us. Karen and Camilla became seriously depressed, one of them would start crying, and that would start the other one. They couldn’t answer when asked why they were crying. They would hug each other and the tears would flow again instead. The crying jags drove Lawrence and me nuts. We tried our best to comfort our wives, and then something would come up and have them crying again.

I would miss my best friend as well. Thinking back on all Lawrence and I had been through together would get me misty-eyed. The whole Ginny B affair had brought us together and that developed into our friendship. Karen and I would probably be dead without his friendship and his mentoring. I owed the man, which is why my selling price for the townhouse was so much lower than what I could have asked for on the market. I think he would have felt insulted and that he was taking advantage of me if I had priced it any lower to him.

We had the closing on our Chicago townhouse the week before we were to be in Washington, DC. We no longer owned property in Chicago and would be driving our VW Camper Bus to Washington in a couple of days. Grandma Jorgenson was going to stay with Lawrence and Camilla for a week or so to help them with their move into the townhouse. Our household items were in transit to our new home in Washington. A bonded carrier recommended to us by friends in the FBI was moving everything from my motorcycle to my suits. The FBI used them to pack and secure items forfeited in raids.

Karen and I talked it over and planned for our trip to Washington to take a three and a half days, overnighting in Fort Wayne, IN, my hometown, and Gettysburg, PA. I did want to stop in my hometown to see my dad as it had been several years since we had seen each other, and I wanted to make the first move toward reconciliation. I wasn’t at all positive that was possible with my mother in the picture, however. Checking in with my Secret Service protection detail nightly seemed to satisfy their concerns. Public interest in my appointment seemed to lessen As time went by, which was OK by me, in all honesty.

We had decided to travel the Lincoln Highway all the way to Washington. It was also known as US 30, went through plenty of small towns, and gave us an opportunity to do some sightseeing and explore some of the old roadside attractions. I wanted to drive to Fort Wayne on our first day on the road and spend the night there. I wanted to take a side trip up to Auburn, Indiana and tour the old Auburn car museum the next morning as I have a thing for old classic cars from the 1920s and 30s. Those old Cords, Auburns, and Duesenbergs were made during the golden age of the automobile. Never again would there be a car like the Duesenberg. The Great Depression killed that off. We would make our way back to US 30 after visiting the museum, and stop near my hometown for the night. We’d grab a room at a nearby motel, stop by my folks’ place, visit for a while, and then go back to the motel. We would travel on US 30 the next day, continuing east and stopping in Gettysburg, PA, for the night. We would tour the town and the battlefield that night and the next morning. The drive from Gettysburg to Washington wasn’t quite two hours, so we were well on our planned schedule for the trip.

Karen and I stayed in the motel where we always put up our friends, Randy and Andi, the night before we left for Washington. It wasn’t a luxury motel by any means, but it was clean and reasonable. We swung by the townhouse to bid Lawrence, Camilla, and Grandma Jorgenson goodbye before leaving in the morning. It was tearful all around, even Lawrence and I were misty-eyed when we said farewell to each other. He and I had gone through a lot in the almost five years we had known each other. Grandma had made us some of her blueberry nut mini-quick breads for us to munch on during our trip.

We left our old neighborhood for the last time a half hour later, heading towards Lake Michigan to ride along the scenic route to the Indiana border, where we would pick up US 30. Karen and I had a blast playing the old road trip games we use to play as kids such as who could spot the most cars of a certain color, and pick a state and see how many cars we saw with that state’s plates. It was silly, but it was a lot of fun breaking up the driving monotony.

We started talking about roadside attractions we had stopped at as a kid as we were driving. It was pure coincidence that I saw the sign for Indiana Dunes State Park. I asked Karen if she had ever been there. She claimed she had never even heard of them. That was when I made the split second decision that I wasn’t going to rob my wife of a chance to run through the sand in her bare feet at the dunes. I was glad I made that decision. We acted like a couple of little kids, being spontaneous and just enjoying ourselves. We were there for almost two hours running barefoot through the sand and walking along some of the trails that were among the dunes. It was a fun time; we ate a quick late lunch at an A&W root-beer stand not far from the state park that was still in business. Even the food there tasted better. We stopped Fort Wayne for the night in as we had planned. The motel was OK, nothing spectacular. Supper that evening was at a local burger chain called the ‘Kewpee’. The name of the place was different but the building, the burgers, and the greasy fries were the same as so many similar places we stopped at as kids.

We got up early the next morning, stopped at a grocery store, and grabbed some fruit, bagels, and peanut butter for a quick nutritional breakfast. The side trip to the Auburn Museum was worth every cent it cost to get in and more. Karen even enjoyed it. Her favorites were the Duesenbergs and mine were the Cords with their hidden headlights. We spent two hours looking at cars, wishing we lived back then. It would have been grand to own one.

We made surprisingly good time driving on US 30, even if we had to drive through moderately-sized towns and had to stop for numerous traffic lights. We made my hometown just before 3 PM. We found a newer motel out near US 30 and checked in for the night. I coaxed Karen to go with me to take a walk around downtown and see if I knew anyone on the street. This was the first time Karen had been to my hometown’s business center and she was slightly nervous of what people would think of her. I told her she had nothing to worry about, as they would be as impressed with her as I had been the first time we met.

I parked the VW in front of the courthouse, and we got out and started walking up the town’s main street toward the Veterans Memorial Fountain and traffic circle. I tried to explain what cruising was to Karen. You would drive down the main street, looking and wanting to be seen by others as you would proceed around the traffic circle and back down the main street the way you had come. We would do this multiple times, then park our cars, sit on the hood, and try to attract members of the opposite sex to come talk. You would get someone new to talk and flirt with you if you were even mildly interesting. You could get them to get in the car and drive to the city park if you were doing really well, where you would park near the swinging bridge and make out. I said I didn’t recall as it had been too long ago when asked if I was ever successful at such activities. This had Karen laughing, and she would stop and look over at me and start laughing at me again. My ego would only take so much laughing.

We had walked maybe a block and a half when a former classmate of mine came out of the drugstore. I recognized him by his unusual gait and habit of walking with his head out in front of his body like a stork. He initially didn’t recognize me when I greeted him. It was if he and I were best friends when he did, which we never were. I introduced him to Karen. He couldn’t get over I was lucky enough to have gotten a beauty as her. He had to tell her about how unsuccessful I had been with the women as a teen. She replied to him that I may have been a slow learner, but I was top notch now. He suddenly remembered that he had to be somewhere else and said it had been nice to meet Karen and see me.

We came across a few people who attended the same church as I had as a kid during the rest of the walk. They were all nice to Karen and wished me luck in my new position as part of the President’s staff. I saw my old high school girlfriend battling with a very unruly 4 year old, who was having a tantrum on the sidewalk as we were just getting back to the car. She had dumped me before my senior prom to go with another boy who she had been seeing on the side without telling me. I was devastated by that turn of events and almost didn’t go to the prom. I went with a girl who wasn’t part of any in crowd in school instead. She was a nice, just not a person who was a joiner. As I understand it, she went out west after graduation and no one had heard anything from her since.

I think my former girlfriend hoped that I would walk on by and ignore her. No such luck. I had to show her what I was capable of attracting and keeping. I called to her as we approached. I did the introductions and told the former girlfriend that Karen and I had been married for about four years. We were on our way to Washington to start my new post as a Presidential advisor. Yes, it was petty, but I felt good for doing it. My old flame was almost rude to Karen when I introduced her, obviously jealous of Karen. We said our goodbyes and Karen and I headed back to our VW bus for the drive to my parents’ house.

I almost hoped that no one would be home when we turned on to the street I remembered so well from my childhood. I pulled into the driveway right behind the beater red Ford pickup my dad had always babied and treated with TLC. The truck was older than I was and ran as good as new. Karen and I got out of the VW bus and walked toward the house. I was in luck as the person I had wanted to see was here and I didn’t see any sign of my mom’s car. I saw my dad sitting on the porch swing as we approached the porch. He smiled one of the biggest smiles I can ever recall him having when he saw us.

I had one of the best conversations I had ever had with my dad for the next hour and a half. Dad told me that he and my mother had both retired from their jobs and were taking it easy. He was playing golf at the club every morning, and spent his afternoons puttering around the house. He said he had gotten bored and took a part time position teaching business management courses at the local technical center to keep active. That was right up his alley as he had been a manager as long as I can remember.

Not all that Dad told me had gone well for the family. My younger brother had dropped out of college, lost several positions that Dad or Mom had gotten for him because of his tardiness or not showing up for work. He had been dating this girl from high school since they were freshmen, then he met this other girl who Dad called the community bicycle. He dumped his long-time girlfriend for this new girl. That had not gone over well in our small town. He married her and things went downhill from there, then she soon ran off with another loser.

I told Dad about the changes in our lives since my appointment as a Presidential advisor. He was aware of that as was everyone else in town was. I told him Karen and I had sold our townhouse in Chicago, and were moving to the DC area. We had bought a house in Alexandria, VA. I asked Karen to get the pictures of the house so we could show them to my dad., My dad made a comment that I had found troubling while Karen was making a trip to the VW. My mother no longer considered me as part of the family. My mother reasoned that my turning against Ginny was because of Karen. I had actually turned against Ginny way before I had met Karen. My mother still didn’t believe she had committed the murders that I had proved that she did. He said trying to convince her otherwise was a lost cause.

Karen had found the pictures by that time and brought for my dad to see. I told him the history of the house we had purchased while he looked at the pictures. He found the history fascinating and would most definitely visit us in Washington soon.

My dad then asked the fifty million dollar question. He knew I was an excellent mathematician, but he just couldn’t understand how that would have led to my fast rise in the Washington political scene.

Karen answered before I could, “You are going to have to tell him the truth and swear him to secrecy, James. It’s the only way for him to understand.”

“There is no way that I am going to tell him here on the porch,” I answered.

My dad looked at both of us in total bewilderment. I think he thought we were both slightly nuts at the time.

“Go call Rosario’s and order a sixteen inch deluxe, Dad,” I suggested. “We can go to the park along the river where you use to take us kids fishing. We will have some privacy there.”

Karen and I went back to the VW bus while my father was in the house ordering the pizza to rearrange our bags so he would have a place to sit. I waved for him to come on out to the VW bus when he came out. my father commented I had been fortunate to find one in this good of shape we went to pick up our pizza. That was another part of my life Dad didn’t know anything about. So I told him about Seattle, my success with my algorithm, and the licensing fees I earned from the software folks, on the way to the pizza joint. I simply told him that Karen and I would never have to worry about working ever again if we wanted to, when he asked how much I had earned from it. I think the news stunned my dad and he sat quietly for the rest of the trip to the pizza place.

I went in to pick up our order when we arrived at the pizza carryout. I purchased some of their breaded garlic cheese sticks, and a six-pack of soda to drink, along with the deluxe pizza. I came out of the pizza joint and handed the hot pizza to Karen to hold until we got to the park. She looked at me with an odd look. I wasn’t sure what that look meant, so I ignored it for the time being. I proceeded to tell Karen about where we were going and what it meant to me as a kid instead of all us being quiet.

My dad, in the back seat, suddenly said, “About your financial situation and your obvious success, Son, I wouldn’t mention anything about it to your mother. That will give her more ammunition to spread around about how you made it and left the rest of the family behind.”

I was surprised and hurt at my Dad’s revelation. My coming to visit had obviously been a mistake. I came home to try to reconcile with the family, and my presence here would serve the opposite. I felt even more betrayed by that revelation.

“I didn’t come here to see her, Dad. I came to see you and to show Karen my home town. You do know that this is the first time we have actually enjoyed ourselves in four years. It has been a good visit until now, and I am not going allow Mom’s negativity to spoil it,” I said in response.

“I also wanted to give you an invitation to visit us any time you want; we have plenty of room in the new house.”

Looking back at my father in the rear view mirror, I could see the tears starting to form in his eyes. We had arrived at the park by then, and I turned on to the side street that took us to the spot where I use to enjoy fishing and the picnics as a kid. Life was so much simpler then. I remembered when we reached the spot, and I pulled off and parked the VW. I opened my door to get out and go around to assist Karen with the pizza and the other food. My dad figured out the odd door handle to the side door and got out as well.

Karen was walking over to the picnic table when she stopped and slowly started looking around. She looked back at me and smiled.

“I now know why you liked your spot in Washington Park back in Chicago. This place is very similar to it right down to the water and trees,” Karen knowingly said.

Hearing Karen, I turned smiling at her and nodding. This was my spot when I had troubles, just coming here seemed to make them go away I handed the pizza to my dad to carry, as I wanted to get paper plates, cups, and napkins out from our supplies in the bus.

Sitting down at the table as a family felt like it gave our visit a fresh start. Dad kept Karen entertained with stories of when I was a kid. I denied most of them, of course, and said he was thinking about his other family, which just brought more laughter and happiness to us all.

I knew it was time to get serious and tell my father about Russia, and everything else that led up to my appointment as a Presidential advisor, after we ate every last slice of the pizza and enjoyed the cheesy bread sticks.

“What I am about to tell you, can’t be told to another person ever, Dad,” I said in all seriousness. “You can’t even share it with Mom, especially her. I could get in some serious trouble with the government if you do.”

The look my father gave me was a hard one to try to guess. It was a mix of shock, pride, and fear all in one. I decided to go for it.

“Two gentlemen from an intelligence agency came to visit me at the university little over a year ago, Dad. They made a proposal to me that was difficult to turn down,” I started.

I shared everything with him, from the training, the mission in Russia, Mike’s betrayal, and our escape from Russia, for the next hour. He stopped me several times, and asked for clarification on things. He was upset about the lives I had to take, and he hated Mike’s betrayal of the mission and almost getting the team killed. I told him everything about the Senator and my involvement in taking him down. He looked over at Karen when I told him about her involvement with the sting. Dad reached over, took her hand in his, and commented on her loyalty to me. I could see the pride in his eyes when I told him about my meetings with the President and all the Washington movers and shakers. I sat there quietly waiting for him to respond when I finished my story.

Dad silently sat there at the picnic table for a few moments, taking it all in. He turned around and looked out over the water, silently studying it as if it held some wealth of knowledge that he could draw from. He then looked back at Karen and smiled at her, then turned back to me and gave me a look of fatherly love, pride, and acceptance.

He then said, “I won’t speak of this with your mother, Son, besides she wouldn’t believe it. I do not believe it and I know you have never knowingly told me a lie before. All I can say to you is that I love you, I’m proud of you, and know you have become a man who any father would be extremely proud to claim as his son.”

He then broke out in laughter at some thought that only he knew up until then. He then shared it, “Everybody I’d try to tell this story to would accuse me of lying. No one has a son who is James Bond, Henry Kissinger, and Albert Einstein all rolled up in one.”

Karen and I both laughed at his comment. As absurd as it sounded, Dad hit the nail on the head, as that was what my life had become.

My dad then said, “I have never told you this before, James, but I am proud of you. I never told you that since Ginny came around. I don’t know why, but that young woman changed your mother somehow. The success you have achieved without her interference and your brother’s failure has made her bitter, so just know that I am proud of you, and love you and Karen.”

I broke down for the first time in years, and cried as a baby. Both Karen and my dad had to console me. I was crying for both joy and sadness. Joy in the acceptance of my father’s pride in my accomplishments, and sadness in my mother’s rejection, and her blaming me for her insane behavior. It was getting dark and my father felt it was time for him to get back home. He asked on the way back to the house that we drop him off down the street from the house. My pulling into the driveway will more than likely lead to a confrontation with my mother. He didn’t want to end what was an otherwise good visit on bad terms. I promised I would call him when we were settled in our new home and had a phone number. He thought it would be better if Karen called asking for him instead, and she could give him the information. He said the best time to call was early afternoon as my mom was generally at the club.

We did as he asked and dropped him off down the street from the house and said our goodbyes. Both of us got a hug from my dad, though I thought his hug to Karen lasted a little longer that it should have. I turned the bus around and we headed back to the motel for the night as we had planned for an early start in the morning. I decided to stop and fuel the bus up before heading to the motel instead of waiting to do it in the morning. I went in to pay After filling the bus, and didn’t notice that the clerk behind the glass partition was my brother until I was in front of the counter. I greeted him and he didn’t say anything back to me. He just handed me my change and stood there looking at me. Taken aback, I turned and walked back to the bus. I got in and we drove off. I didn’t say anything right away, and Karen looked over at me knowing that something was bothering me.

“The clerk in there was my brother,” I said. “He didn’t respond to me when I greeted him. He just took the cash and gave me back my change.”

Karen said, “It looks like the only family you have left is your father, James, and we know how he feels about you.”

“It still hurts to know that your mother dislikes you, Karen,” I responded.

“Yes, I certainly know how that feels, James,” Karen said, agreeing.

I then recalled how her mother acted at our failed nuptials; she was the catalyst for me to bolt on that special day, after all. We went to our room and got ready for bed when we got back to the motel. I wanted to be on the road by 6 AM. Karen and I held each other in bed that night, each of us drawing comfort from the other.

We were up and on the road before 6 AM the next morning. I wanted to be out of town before my mom had a chance to start looking for us and maybe create an embarrassing scene. I remember a few times when she had done just that to me as a teen. The worst was when I wasn’t exactly home on time and she showed up at a party looking for me. She was dressed in a Hawaiian print caftan and flip-flops, and her hair in curlers. It took years to remove that incident from my memory.

We drove without stopping until we reached the western edge of Pittsburgh and stopped for a late breakfast at a chain pancake house. I fueled the bus up after eating, and we were back on our way to Gettysburg, PA. The bus struggled somewhat through the western mountains of Pennsylvania. There were grades I had to downshift to make it up the steep grade. I had to shift into a lower gear to use the engine to help brake on the downgrades at other times. It made for a fun drive. The only worrisome part of the drive was looking out over the edge of the road and seeing nothing but a flimsy guardrail and lots of open sky. Karen wisely chose to keep her eyes shut on that part of the drive.