Chapter 12: A Special Tour of the Capitol and White House

On way to the Congressman’s office, it was a constant “Hello, Dr. Mercer.” “Good to see you again, Dr. Mercer.” I wonder who scripted and choreographed this whole thing. Whoever did it was very good. Karen was eating up all the attention. Her grip on my arm kept getting tighter the closer we got to the congressman’s office; I think she held on to avoid losing me.

When we came to the good congressman’s office, we followed Molly in. She had us sit in the waiting area of the congressman’s outer office. Molly went into the inner office sanctum to let them know we were here. Having Molly meet us at the kiosk had me confused. When I had the opportunity, I would ask and insist on answers.

A few minutes later, my favorite Congressman made his grand appearance and wowed the crowd. Both Karen and her grandmother were tongue-tied; they could only nod their heads. He came over to me and shook my hand as if he and I were old friends. More questions were forming with that.

“Shall we begin our tour, Dr. Mercer, Mrs. Mercer, and guest?” said the congressman jovially.

We let him lead, and we followed as he was the tour guide for this capital expedition. The next two hours, we got the full dog and pony show. Our guide led us into areas of the capital rarely seen by the public. I will have to say the congressman knew his history and was extremely popular with other members of Congress. He kept stopping and introducing me as that brilliant Dr. Mercer, whom they all heard about. Again, more questions for me to ask later.

Slightly after noon, the good Congressman called a break from the tour. He asked that we join him as his guests in the congressional dining area. I think both my wife and her grandmother would have done anything for the man by then. He had them thoroughly in his corner. They were star-struck by the man. It was then that the light bulb in my head went off. My good friend, the Congressman, was always a politician. He had hooked his wagon to the shining star, meaning me, and was using my fifteen minutes of stardom to further his career. It was no secret that he had inspiration to run for the Senate and beyond. Our visit was just a means to that end. I couldn’t fault the congressman; it was a win-win for both of us and slick politics for him. I meet influential politicians, and they raise their status using my infamy to do so. Politically, it was a genius move.

Lunch was fantastic, and I enjoyed observing Karen and her grandmother so happy. Their heads were on a swivel, trying to see if they knew anyone around us. It was then that Grandma Jorgenson almost ended the Congressman’s political career and his life.

Who would waddle by? None other than Senator “Jeb” Stuart, also known as Senator Asshat, who hated me. My favorite Congressman summoned him so he could take a shot at the Senator. It was certain they would be political rivals in the coming years. He introduced my wife, her grandmother, and me last. He added that he was sure the good senator remembered me from the briefing I gave a few weeks ago. The senator was polite but not overly friendly to the women and was outright chilly towards me. His cold acknowledgment was noted by Grandma Jorgenson, and she didn’t care who he was; no one treated her grandson that way. It was when he was waddling away that Grandma Jorgenson made her now-famous remark.

“That Senator Asshat is just as I thought he would be—a horse’s ass,” she said loud enough to be heard by several tables around.

It was not bad enough; she called Senator Stuart a horse’s ass, but she also used his well-known nickname. That is when my friend, the Congressman, passed Chicken Parmesan through his nose. He started coughing and sputtering, holding his napkin to his face and reaching for his glass of water. Being concerned, I was up and around to his side as quickly as I could. It didn’t take long until other members of Congress, dining room staff, and security personnel were there to offer aid; however, they could. The good congressman waved everyone away, thanking everyone for their concern.

This is where I thought the rest of the tour would end, and I and my family were escorted out of the city limits. We would receive a stern warning, and we would face dire consequences if we ever showed our faces in DC again. Instead, the Congressman was soon his same jovial self.

“Madam, I hope I never run contrary to your opinion of me. I would hate to have you think ill of me,” the good Congressman said.

What utter crap he was throwing about, and my female relatives were eating it up. I just learned I had a lot to learn about the inner workings of this great city and the people who rule in it. I just sat there, taking it all in like a sponge.

By early afternoon, our tour of the capital had concluded, and we were scheduled to have a special tour of the White House. The congressman stated it was time for us to take the limousine to the White House. I was going to inquire if we should follow him or not when he suggested we could travel with him in his vehicle. I was thinking how great it was that the Congressman went all out with the limo ride. He had me with the meal; he paid the tab.

We went back to his office so he could check on a few things while he left us waiting with some of his junior office staff. I looked around for Molly without spotting her. I wondered if she was back working at her other position for the other agency.

A short time later, the Congressman and a couple of what I guess were senior staff members came out to where we were standing and asked if we were ready to go. Of course, Karen and her grandmother were both more than ready. I do not think I have ever seen either of them as excited as they are now. I do have to admit I was too.

After getting into the Congressman’s nine-passenger SUV, it was a ten-minute drive to the White House from the Capitol. We went through all the security checkpoints except one where we all had to show identification, including the Congressman. Even then, it was a short wait, and then we drove up to the White House itself. It was impressive, to say the least. You get out of the vehicle, and the first thing you see is this huge white building with these impressive columns in front. Then you realize you are at the home of the most powerful person in the whole free world. That is when the adrenaline kicks in, and your whole body starts quivering from all that adrenaline released into your blood stream.

I think it was the third time the Congressman called to me that I realized I was to follow him on in. I would have been just as satisfied standing there, looking up at the immense building. I looked over at Karen and her grandmother, and they were having the same reaction as I was. The whole experience was overwhelming. Once inside the facility, we had to walk through a metal detector before being permitted to pass by the Secret Service. We followed along behind the Congressman and his staffers until we met with some official-looking senior staffers who welcomed us to the White House. It was here that we left the Congressman and were given a personal and up-close tour that the normal tours would see, and then we were in rooms that the public generally would not see. It was impressive, believe me. I thought if only these walls could talk, I would wonder what they had to say. Thirty minutes later, we were back with the Congressman, and I thought we were done with the tour. I thanked the staffer who conducted us around the White House; I knew this was not his normal duty.

It was then that this assistant came up to the Congressman and said, “He is ready to see you now.”

I thought, “Whom?” Then it hit me who HE was. I think I almost lost control of my bodily functions.

At the same time, a woman staffer approached my wife and her grandmother and said, “Ladies, if you will follow me, She would like to have tea with you. We will chat until your husband is through with his meeting.”

Karen’s knees buckled just a bit, and her grandmother had to steady her. I could not go to her rescue as the Congressman had attached himself to my arm and said, “Come on, Doctor, we can’t leave the man waiting.”

I was nervous, as I have ever been. Going into the Soviet Computer Center was not as nerve-wracking as this. OK, maybe it was, but that was a different kind of nervousness. The Congressman led the way, and then me. Several Secret Service agents followed, who positioned themselves on either side of the door we had come in.

I looked around the office, taking it all in. The photos of the Oval Office were close to what I was taking in. I thought perhaps the differences were that those who held the office had their own individual tastes and decorated it to match their personalities. I was surprised. The room is an oval; how about that?

In front of the huge wooden desk were two couches facing. The man who occupied this office got up from behind his desk and came around to stand facing us. He greeted each of us by name and bid us to sit down on the couch, coming over to join us. I wisely followed the Congressman’s lead and waited until the President came over. When he stood in front of me and held out his hand for me to shake, I thought I would again have the urge to lose control of my body functions. That would be some legacy for me to leave at the White House. I would be forever known as the man who ruined the carpet in the Executive Office of the West Wing.

After shaking our hands and bidding us welcome, I again followed the congressman’s lead. We let him sit down before we sat. The Congressman and he were making small talk, and then his question to me came out of left field. I sat stunned for a second. Did he just ask me my impression of the Soviet Computer Modeling System? I thought for a second about how I would best answer him. I did not want to mislead him and say ours was so much better since I had no idea what ours was like. No one bothered to show it to me. I simply gave him the best answer I could give under the circumstances. I said the computer systems they used were older technology and not capable of doing the calculations the systems we used could. They were accurate enough to get the job done. I said that from the data we collected and what I saw in that room, the Soviets were doing well for what they had to work with.

He thanked me for my opinion and said the team had come through when the country most needed the information to negotiate the treaty. Then he went for the $64 million question. He wanted to know everything about the mission from my perspective, from the start right up to my giving the briefing to the Joint Committee several weeks ago.

For the next twenty minutes, I went over the highlights of the mission, our training, the submarine ride, the landing on the coastline of Russia, and getting into the computer center. When I told him how Mike betrayed us, he expressed his anger and said that Mike would see justice. According to him, Mike not only betrayed his comrades, but he also betrayed his country. He loved the story of how we “borrowed” the car of the local communist party head and drove it to Leningrad. The parking of the car in a city residential neighborhood, he thought, was worthy of a scene from a spy movie, and he definitely knew movies. I finished the story about how embassy staff members from Moscow got us diplomatic passports, which allowed us to leave the country unchallenged and rescued us in Leningrad.

After a half hour, his assistant came in to remind him that he had other appointments waiting and that he needed to end this one. He stood, and we followed his lead. As we were leaving, he asked me to stop by the White House the next time I was in Washington. He said he had additional subjects he would love to have a conversation on. We left the office and followed the office staffer out and into a corridor, where we were to meet up with the rest of our group. I thought about the last 30 minutes I had spent in company of the most powerful man in the free world. Many thought of him as an old fool who read from a script. I found just the opposite. The man may be older and appear to be on the cusp of senility, but he was smart and cagey as a fox. The old senile man was all an act in which he played a role. In reality, he was anything but. The man had a brilliant mind capable of picking up the smallest of details and was able to make intelligent decisions on the fly. In other words, everything was in quite capable hands.

We turned a corner, and in the corridor, in front of us stood my wife Karen and Grandma Jorgenson. I could see they were in a jovial mood. That means whomever they had tea with proved to be some host. I was hoping everything was good because I knew what kind of mischief my former landlady and now grandmother-in-law could cause. She had demonstrated that quite well earlier in the day.

When the Congressman and I caught up with my wife and her grandmother, they were so bubbly, telling everyone who would stop and listen to them they had a sit-down tea with “Her.” Of course, when I showed up, they had to repeat the whole story once again to me. I saw the congressman looking at his watch, and I took that as a sign that he wanted to get back to his office. I grabbed each of the women’s arms and slowly guided them back down the corridor to the exit and the waiting SUV.

On the ten-minute ride back to the Capitol, Karen had to tell me all about how nice “she” was and how both “He and She” were impressed with my abilities and my bravery. The mention of bravery caused my heart to skip a beat. Eventually, the story would come out. When Karen found out what went on, she would not be happy in the least. I was in some serious trouble now; it was just a matter of time before the elation she felt now would come crashing down.

When we got back to the Congressman’s office after our White House excursion, the Congressman bid us farewell. He hoped he would see us all again very soon. For a second, he took me aside and told me to keep in touch. He was sure our “friendship” was beneficial to both of us. Then he shook all our hands and walked away, surrounded by staffers trying to get his attention. As we were getting ready to leave, the receptionist at the desk in front handed me a note.

It read, “Doctor and Mrs. Mercer, Remember, tonight is your night to see Washington, DC, after hours. Please call me as to where you would like to meet. Sincerely, Molly.”

This day just kept getting better. First, my wife’s grandmother nearly causes the death of a US Congressman by choking, then “She” lets the cat out of the bag by saying how impressed “He and She” were by my abilities and bravery. Karen was now guided around by a woman who knew where all the bodies were. This trip was going to end in tragedy; I just knew it. I hoped I had time for a serene walk along the Potomac. I sure needed to be serene about then.

We walked out the way we came into the Capitol, and everyone was saying, “Hello, Dr. Mercer.” Was there anyone there who did not know me? We walked out to the kiosk and waited. We had a short wait, and soon Robert pulled up, and I helped my wife and her grandmother into the limousine. As we pulled away, Robert asked how the tour was. Grandma was overjoyed to share with whoever would listen, and Robert got the full 15-minute version. That was the time for him to get from the Capitol building to our hotel. After listening to her go on about the day they had, Robert had gotten out of the car to assist them. I was the last one out, and I felt like I had aged 15 years today, and my body felt it. As he closed the door and bid the women a good evening, he winked at me and went to get into the car. Robert drove off, and I made my way into the hotel. In another three or four minutes, I could take my suit off and hop into a refreshing hot shower. I so looked forward to it.