Chapter 12: Long Odds

January 1805

Returning to Portsmouth, Tony found his ship almost ready for sailing. Lt. Fortescue had done a splendid job, and Tony told him so. The sailing orders had arrived, too, and Tony knew now that they had five more days in port. He gave his First Lieutenant leave for those five days and took over himself.

The orders called for Clyde to escort eight supply ships destined for Lord Nelson’s Mediterranean Fleet off Toulon. The ships carried much needed provisions, ammunition and other supplies for the fleet.

Due to the Spanish declaration of war a month earlier, after the interception of a Spanish bullion convoy by Captain Moore and his frigates, Tony’s orders stressed the need for steady vigilance. The Spanish had used the armistice to restore their fleet to its former strength, but the loss of its treasure fleet would seriously affect additional expenditures. Still, Cadiz and Algeciras harboured considerable naval forces, and Tony guessed that this was the reason for sending his big frigate as a cover for the small convoy. He was quite happy with the orders, because he saw a chance to meet Lord Nelson in person.

During the next days, Tony became immersed in the usual bustle of a ship making ready for sea. Fresh water came aboard in the very last days. So did his private stores. Since he had become affluent, he undertook to have good quality cabin stores and a selection of ales, wines and spirits. Personally, he preferred thin ale for his use, but there was always a need to host other officers. He also paid another visit to Elizabeth’s shop, to pick up his new everyday uniforms and to settle his debt.

He slept ashore one more time under the care of Mrs. Blacket, who had taken charge of his house. So far, he was highly satisfied. The house was fit to live in, there were fresh linens on the beds, urgent repairs would be done in the next weeks and most importantly, the meals prepared by the Frenchwoman were a delight. After the first day, he ordered his steward, Grimm, to stay at his house and to learn from Mrs. Blacket.

Their sailing was postponed for another three days when one of the supply ships, whilst taking cargo, crashed against a quay and sprang a leak, necessitating hasty repairs. On one of the last days in port, their new surgeon reported for duty. Tony disliked the man immediately. He had unsteady, bloodshot eyes, and his once respectable coat looked as if the man had slept in a stable. He reeked of spirits, too.

“Mr. Sykes, isn’t it?” he began.

“Yes,” came a mumbled reply.

“That would be ‘yes, Sir’!” Tony snapped, his dislike for the man growing.

“Aye aye, Sir!”

“Let me be blunt, Mr. Sykes. I can see that you report for duty in a state of inebriation. I shall not tolerate such habits. I expect you to spruce up your appearance. I don’t want wardroom members who look like they were just thrown out of a brothel. As for ardent spirits, you will abstain from them whilst you serve in my ship.”

Dr. Sykes made a face as if he had bitten into a lemon.

“That’s an order, Mr. Sykes, and you’ll disobey it at your peril. I’ll have no drunk surgeon in my ship.”

“I’m not drunk,” Sykes protested. Under Tony’s glare, he hastily added a ‘Sir’.

“Yet you give a really good impression of a drunk. Perhaps you have a calling as an actor in the comedy. The medicinal spirits will be placed under the responsibility of the First Lieutenant.”

“That is insulting, Sir!”

“It is commons sense,” Tony answered coolly. “My duty is to the ship and its crew. Personal sensibilities rank only low in my considerations. This is all. Get yourself in a proper shape, and I may reconsider those measures. In the meantime, make sure that the sickbay is stocked with what you’ll need. I’ll have your report by four bells in the afternoon watch. Dismissed!”

Tony shook his head. There were all kinds of people serving in the Navy, many of them fleeing from their own inner demons. Sykes would bear close watching.

Three days later, Clyde and the small convoy of Navy transports, three topsail schooners and five brigs, weighed anchor. Sailing close-hauled on a west-southwestern course, they sighted Ouessant after two days. Keeping the course for another three days saw them off the Galician coast. They sighted Cape Finisterre on the sixth day and changed course to south, sailing along the Portuguese coast. On the tenth day, they sighted Cape Sagres and the small convoy headed for the Strait of Gibraltar. Skirting around Cartagena, where Tony suspected superior Spanish naval forces, they sailed closely past the island of Ibiza and then into the Golfe du Lion.

After seventeen days, they sighted the fleet and approached the flagship. HMS Victory, Nelson’s flagship, lay hove-to in the light breeze, and Tony brought Clyde to within two pistol shots before the helmsman turned her neatly into the wind. Whilst the sails were shortened, the gig was already lying alongside. Tony, with his secretary and two mail bags, was rowed across to the flagship. The pipes twittered a salute and Tony was met at the port by Captain Thomas Hardy himself.

“Welcome, Captain! His Lordship asks you to report to him immediately. If you will follow me...”

The main cabin of the Victory was huge, and the little man in his admiral’s uniform looked almost lost. He rose politely from his desk, though, and approached his visitor who saluted.

“Captain Carter, milord, at your service!”

“Thank you, Captain, and welcome. We have been awaiting those transports for weeks.”

“We had a fast passage, milord, just seventeen days. There was a delay in Portsmouth, though. The Wrexham brig sprung a leak that had to be patched.”

“Oh, I’m sure you did what you could, Captain. Your reputation is not of one who would be tardy. I was merely referring to our dire need of provisions.”

“Of course, milord.”

“Did you see any signs of the Dons?”

“Not a single sail since Ushant, milord. With the transports under my care, I thought it best not to sail too close to Cartagena.”

“Certainly, Captain. I take it that you will escort those transports back?”

“Those are my orders, milord.”

“Pity that! I would give my other arm to have a frigate like yours in my squadron. Our old thirty-twos are no match for the new French frigates.”

Hope surged through Tony.

“Perhaps the transports could be escorted back by one of those frigates which needs a refitting, and I could fill in, milord?”

“You flatter me, Captain, and I am tempted. I’m afraid, however, that I would be relieved of my command if I undertook to lay claim to a frigate under Admiralty orders. I shall make a suggestion to this effect in my report nevertheless.”

“My crew and I would feel honoured to serve under your command, milord.”

“Did you bring extra crews by any chance?”

“Three lieutenants, six midshipmen, eighteen able seamen, and twenty-eight recruits, milord. A company of marines, too. They are all berthed in the Badger bark.”

“Better than nothing. We hope, of course, that those French will come out and give battle. Blockading this harbour has to be the worst duty for an active officer. Now, Captain, I thank you for your services, but there are some documents for me to peruse. Perhaps I can entice you to join us for dinner? I am sure my officers will enjoy hearing the latest news and gossip from England.”

“Certainly, and with pleasure, milord,” Tony answered delightedly.

He then spent a few more minutes with Captain Hardy on the quarterdeck to discuss the distribution of the provisions and the mail before his gig took him back to the Clyde.

For the remainder of the day, Clyde stayed in the vicinity of the Victory. The transports distributed their cargo amongst the ships of the squadron and in turn took wounded and disabled sailors and soldiers on board.

Later that afternoon, a flag signal from Victory invited Tony to dinner in the flagship, together with several other captains. At the beginning of the first dog watch, the gigs of the captains assembled around the Victory. Tony was introduced to the other captains, and he realised that he was the most junior captain present with his scarcely more than two years seniority. During dinner, Tony was bombarded with questions about the politics and society gossip. Tony impressed with his recount of the premiere night at the Drury Lane Theatre, and when he confessed to his personal friendship with Anita, he was looked upon with awe. He also mentioned the fatal duel of Rupert Palmer, not so much because anyone might know him, but because his younger brother, Commander James Palmer, was now the heir to his father’s title.

Lord Nelson spoke little during the evening, and when he did, he did not raise his voice. Nevertheless, when he opened his mouth, his officers listened with close attention. It was clear that the small man commanded the unconditional loyalty of his officers.

There was no heavy drinking during or after dinner as Tony noted with satisfaction, and he returned to his ship at the end of the second dog watch with a clear head.

Four days later, Clyde and her charges saluted Lord Nelson’s flag and started on their way back to England. Tony had conferred with some of the captains who knew the waters better than he did, and he had decided to sail due south, past the island of Minorca, to make the best use of the westerly wind.

They sailed all the way to the African coast near Algiers. A close-hauled leg to north-northwest brought them close to Formentera where they tacked and headed for Oran. From there, they had to claw their way westward and to the Strait. They had some good luck at this point, as the wind shifted briefly to south-southwest, allowing the convoy to pass Gibraltar under close-hauled sails.

That southerly three-knots breeze prevailed for another four days, allowing them to clear Cape Sagres, the south-western tip of Portugal. For another four days, they sailed northward before the light wind before it strengthened and veered to West. With the wind abeam, they made good progress until they rounded Cape Finisterre. From there, they raced across the Bay of Biscay, with a half wind and under full sail.

They sighted Ouessant thirty days after sailing from Toulon. Coming across the Channel Fleet under Admiral Sir William Cornwallis, who was still keeping the French fleet in Brest in a veritable stranglehold, Tony briefly visited Sir William in the Elephant to learn the latest news and to relay Lord Nelson’s compliments. Another 18 hours later saw them rounding the Devil’s Head, eleven weeks after they had sailed from Portsmouth.

Tony delivered Lord Nelson’s dispatches and his own reports to the port admiral for forwarding them to London, and then got his officers and crew started on the refitting.

Two days later, Tony was ordered to report to the Admiralty, to receive new orders, and he reserved a seat on the morning post-chaise. The coach ride in the Spring sun was quite pleasurable, and the road was dry, allowing for a speedy travel. Arriving in London, he found that his usual accommodation in the George was not available, but Admiral Vernon had a cosy room for him and served a well tasting dinner.

Early in the next morning, Tony reported at the Admiralty but was told to wait. It was not decided yet where the Clyde would be posted next. Tony shrugged inwardly. They could do worse things to him than let him wait in London.

He called upon Anita at the first chance, and they met on several occasions during the following week. He slept in his rented room mostly, however, as Anita did not seem to be all that comfortable anymore with Tony sleeping in her quarters. She joked that with a horny sailor in her bed, she did not get enough sleep. They still had a good accord, but Tony felt that their relationship was more and more moving into the direction of a friendship.

He was having breakfast in the common room of the Vernon when a letter was delivered by a livered footman. Tony looked at the handwriting on the envelope and he felt uneasy when he recognised it. He opened it briskly, like someone who wants to finish an unpleasant duty.

Tony sighed. He expected an uncomfortable meeting. He held no small grudge against Harriet’s mother for keeping him uninformed of the reasons for Harriet’s marriage. On the other hand, he owed Sir Richard and his wife quite a lot for their help in furthering his career. Mostly, however, he knew that there was no valid excuse for turning down the invitation. Sir Richard must know that he was sitting around waiting for orders. He therefore wrote a brief billet, acknowledging and accepting the invitation.

He was apprehensive when he arrived at the Lamberts’ town house early in the next morning. He half expected Harriet to be there. Lady Lambert was far too sophisticated for such a ham-handed manoeuvre, however, and instead, he was received by the elder Lamberts in a cordial atmosphere.

No mention was made of Harriet in the first hour, and when Lady Lambert approached the subject, she simply apologised for her poor handling of the situation. She claimed convincingly that the whole affair had distraught her so much as to impair her good judgement. Sir Richard changed the subject again by asking Tony about the state of the Mediterranean Fleet and the health of Lord Nelson. They were still discussing this topic when the butler entered and announced visitors.

“Lord and Lady Brougham, Commander James Palmer, and Mrs. Palmer are asking for a brief interview.”

Whilst Sir Richard lifted his eyebrow to indicate his surprise, Lady Lambert blushed.

“Oh, I am sorry, Captain, I assure you that I did not plan this. I don’t know the purpose of this visit.”

“Milady, there is no need for excuse nor explanation,” Tony answered politely. “Unless you would rather I left, I have no reason to avoid your daughter.”

Sir Richard had already risen to receive his visitor. Lady Lambert looked at Tony and spoke in low tone.

“You know everything?”

“I know the gist of what happened. But I know enough not to hold your daughter at fault over that sordid affair.”

Looking over her shoulder, Eleanor Lambert ascertained they were alone and then gave the flustered Tony an affectionate hug.

“You are a good man, Anthony Carter. May I entertain just a little hope that you and Harriet may be reconciled with each other?”

“There is always hope, but this is something Harriet and I must work out between ourselves.”

“Of course, of course,” Lady Lambert agreed hastily. “Now let us meet our visitors.”

They joined Sir Richard and his guests in the large living room. Harriet almost jolted back when she saw Tony; it was good that her face was behind her black widow’s veil lest she might have given away her feelings.

“Eleanor, my dear, Commander Palmer is asking for the hand of Miss McTaggart. Personally, I cannot find any reason to object. What do you think, my dear?”

“Why, Richard, this has to be the best news in months. Of course, she is in mourning, and they will have to wait until next year. I take it that Miss McTaggart is in agreement, Harriet?”

“Very much so, Mother. She is positively delighted and she cares deeply for James. I cannot envision a better match for her.”

“Then it is agreed,” Sir Richard announced. “Miss McTaggart inherited her father’s possessions, which I keep in trust. When the time is right, Commander Palmer and I shall settle these questions. May I offer you some refreshments?”

Lord and Lady Brougham declined, and left soon after. Their state of mourning did not allow any forms of celebration. James Palmer accompanied his parents, of course. Only Harriet said that she would stay for lunch with her parents. They all went back to the breakfast table. Lady Lambert did not stay long, though. She left to organise their lunch. After a few minutes, she called for her husband to join her. Sir Richard sighed and shook his head before he left. Harriet and Tony were left alone.

“She is doing it again,” Harriet sighed. “Please believe me that I did not plan this. I had no idea that you were in London. You don’t have to stay if I make you uncomfortable.”

That last sentence came out a little unsteady.

“Harriet,” Tony answered, “I am uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable because I judged you wrongly and caused you additional pain with my childish behaviour. I am also sorry, because I was not there when you needed me the most.”

“Tony, you mustn’t blame yourself. Anita told me what you knew and had to surmise, and I can understand you. It must have been a terrible blow for you, too.”

“Not as bad as for you, Harriet. At least I could find some solace.”

“With Anita?”

“Yes, with Anita. I did not know she was your friend. We met quite by chance. It was through her that I opened up again. Well, her and Doña Maria.”

He had decided to be completely open. Whatever the future might hold for them, he was not about to start over with lies.

“Maria?”

“Doña Maria Christina Arabella Ruiz de Costa y Ledesma. The wife of His Most Catholic Majesty’s governor of Cartagena, Don Alonso Christobal Ruiz de Costa y Torquena. I had rescued her from captivity. She had been a prisoner for three years. She was my guest in the Clyde. I found her to be a fascinating person and endearing.”

“Do you love her?”

“I could have, Harriet, but she is married. Yet, what little time we had together, I feel that it changed me. I see her as a friend and soul mate. She urged me to keep looking for the woman destined to be my wife.”

“So you had an affair with this Spanish woman whilst you had a relationship with Anita?”

There was accusation in Harriet’s voice.

“I had only met Anita for one evening before I sailed,” Tony answered reasonably, “I did not know whether she would want to see me again.”

He decided not to mention Elizabeth.

“It appears that your chagrin about losing me did not keep you from enjoying yourself,” Harriet stated with a little bitterness in her voice.

“Don’t you think that you might be just a bit unfair? For all I knew, you were happily married. What was I supposed to do? Seek death in battle?”

Harriet checked herself. “No, of course not. I’m sorry, Tony. It is not easy for me to hear that not one but two women could win your heart. It was bad enough with Anita, and Anita is my dearest friend. But your affair with this other woman makes me wonder whether you can be true to one woman at all.”

She half expected him to jump up and leave. To her surprise, he considered her accusation.

“I have asked that question myself, Harriet. I believe I would be true to my wife.”

Harriet pulled back her veil and looked into his eyes, studying him.

“I want to believe you,” she said in the end. “It is in fact very tempting to believe you.”

“Harriet, I stayed true to you for over a year after we declared ourselves. Your image before my eyes and the prospect of returning to you was all I needed to resist the temptations.”

“There were temptations?”

“Well there was Lucy Gutteridge and her consort, Clarissa Durning, and a shipload of other women who would have done anything to escape deportation. I did not even think of them in that way.”

“You would not have succeeded with Miss Durning anyway,” Harriet answered dryly, “I know for a fact that she rather prefers female company.”

Tony looked at her with surprise. That was almost the old Harriet, witty and indiscreet. A moment later, Harriet realised it, too, and she managed a smile.

“There is still something about you that makes me behave improperly,” she stated. “I shouldn’t have said this.”

“My, my, Lucy is full of surprises,” Tony marvelled, “but she is indomitable. One has to admire her for that.”

He looked at Harriet candidly.

“The fact that you know this tells me that you have found her friendship, too?”

Harriet blushed deeply.

“Nothing untoward happened between us, save for some hugs and one night of cuddling for comfort,” she whispered. “There might have been more, but Lucy’s heart belongs to my brother. We also spent a rather drunk night with Moira in my bed.”

“Harriet, loneliness is terrible, and you needed the comfort. I can appreciate that Lucy would be hard to resist, even for a woman. We have both made a clean slate. I would like for us to start over, let bygones be bygones. Don’t answer me now! Think about it. There is no rush after all. I’ll be sailing soon, but I would like to write to you regularly. Will you send me letters in turn?”

“Of course,” she smiled, her inbred optimism claiming the upper hand. “We shall work things out and be the stronger for it.”

Tony took her gloved hand and kissed it lightly. Suddenly, Harriet jerked her hand back.

“Oh, dear god, what about Anita? We cannot pretend that she is not in your life.”

Tony shrugged. “Anita is following her own agenda. She already told me that she would be my paramour only.”

“But she loves you! She was so nervous about you showing at her premiere.”

“Yes, Harriet, Anita loves me in her way. But she will not allow that love to compromise what is her real fulfilment. Haven’t you seen her during the curtains after the last act? When I saw her, how she bathed in her success and the applause, I knew she would never give that up to be Mistress Carter, waiting for me in Portsmouth. Anita has made her choice, and I for one respect her wishes.”

“Will you tell her about us?”

Tony nodded solemnly. “I have to. Don’t worry, she will still be your friend.”

“I hope that. I could not stand to lose her friendship.”

Just then, Lady Lambert entered.

“Would you care to join us for lunch?” she asked sweetly. “Or would you rather be alone.”

Harriet looked at Tony and then at her mother. “No, mother, we are fine. Let us eat.”

After lunch, Tony bade his farewell to his hosts and to Harriet and returned to the Vernon. The landlord hastily produced a linen envelope.

“A messenger from the Admiralty delivered an envelope an hour ago, Sir. I sent a messenger to Sir Richard Lambert’s house as instructed.”

“Thank you, Mr. Landlord,” Tony answered and went up to his room.

Breaking the seal, Tony found just two pages with a short order to join Sir Robert Calder’s squadron blockading Rochefort and Ferrol, two minor French and Spanish ports. This was a disappointment. Blockade service was dull and left little room to excel. At least, it was Calder’s squadron. Calder sent his ships to port from time to time. The Channel Fleet, by contrast, had not come to port for more than a year; they received provisions and fresh water by special ships. Still, he would have to stock his cabin with as many provisions as possible for a long blockade service.

In the evening, he went to visit Anita. She opened the door herself to his knocking and hugged him affectionately. They went to her living room.

“Anita, I have just received my orders. We’ll sail in a few days.”

Anita reacted calmly. “Can you tell me your destination?”

Tony smiled wryly. “Blockade service in the Bay of Biscay.”

“That’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Yes and no. It’s relatively close to home, but it’s a hard service. Thank God, it is spring already.”

“Poor man! Is there time for us tonight so I can console you?”

Tony was surprised. Anita had been withdrawn recently. He smiled in response.

“I should tell you a few things before.”

“And what is it that you have to tell me?”

“I met Harriet today. I was at her parents’, and she showed up surprisingly. She was with James Palmer and his parents. He asked for permission to marry McTaggart’s daughter.”

“He proposed to Moira?” Anita asked with obvious delight.

“Yes, he did. His father looked like he had to eat a live frog, but James Palmer has his own head. I like the man as much as I despised his brother.”

“So you talked to Harriet?” Anita asked, bringing the conversation back to the topic.

“Yes. After the Palmers left, Harriet stayed for lunch and we had a chance to talk.”

“Are you reconciled now?”

“Not yet, not completely at least. You see, I made a clean slate myself and told her of my life during the past two years.”

“Oh, you told her about your mysterious Spanish beauty?”

Tony nodded. “I guess it piqued Harriet that I enjoyed myself whilst she was stuck with that horrible man. She will need time to come to terms with the facts.”

Anita gave him a wry smile.

“I take it that you both aim for a complete reconciliation?”

Tony held Anita by her arms and looked into her hazel eyes.

“Anita, I love to be with you, I feel a rare harmony between us. For a while, I hoped that you could be my promise for the future. Yet, you said it yourself, and I have accepted it, that your future is on the stage. Harriet, by contrast, needs somebody to heal her wounds, just like I need somebody to start a family. I am twenty-seven years old, but if I died tomorrow, there would be nothing left of me in this world.”

“That bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. But there is more. I still feel love when I look at Harriet. She has been in my head for nine years, and the feeling is still strong. Anita, can you understand that?”

Anita nodded, her eyes suddenly moist.

“Tony, for the last two months I have worked to this end. I have encouraged Harriet to talk to you. I have tricked you into seeing her. I am happy for Harriet and for you. But this also means that I shall lose you to her. I cannot help feeling a little jealousy, but also a loss.”

“I can understand that. I have mixed feelings, too. You mean a lot to me, Anita. I cannot help it if we have different perspectives for life.”

Anita nodded. “I think you had better say farewell now,” she said softly.

“Yes. Anita, I do not want to lose your friendship.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t, but I need to be alone now. Take good care of yourself!”

“I shall. Farewell, dear.”

He kissed the cheek she offered and left. Anita was a riddle to him. She had explicitly told him that he was her paramour and nothing more. She had manoeuvred him into seeing Harriet again. And yet, she was disappointed now that her plot had worked. Maybe it was the fact that their affair had ended when she was not yet ready for it, Tony mused, or perhaps Doña Maria’s wisdom was not the answer to all female mysteries.

Harriet returned home more than three hours after leaving with the Broughams, only to be bombarded with questions from Moira and Lucy.

“Easy, you two,” she smiled, “nothing is amiss. I had to talk to somebody at my parent’s home. Moira, do not fret! Of course my father consented.”

Moira exhaled deeply. Lucy, on the other hand, felt that something had been left unsaid.

“Harriet, who was it to whom you were talking?”

Harriet cast her eyes on the floor before she looked into Lucy’s.

“Captain Carter was at my parents’. Mother could not foresee my visit. So, when James left, she left us alone.”

“And?” Lucy asked hopefully.

“Lucy, what do you expect? That we fell into each other’s arms? No, but we had a long talk. We also made a clean slate, both of us. There are a few things he told me over which I shall have to mull.”

Those things, of course, were Tony’s open admission that he’d had affairs with two other women over the last year. She knew that her jealousy was stupid. She could have been married happily for all Tony knew, but she was bothered. It took her some reflection to realise that she felt envy. He had obviously enjoyed himself whilst she had been stuck with a revolting man in a sham marriage. She resented his happiness.

“Well, we talked and we shall talk some more in the future. Right now, he is to sail to join the squadron that blockades Rochefort, and I am in mourning. We have time.”

That was all that was said. Over the next weeks and months, the three women settled into a quiet life. Occasionally, a letter arrived from Andrew Lambert or James Palmer, who were both at sea again. Once, a letter arrived for Harriet, and when she saw the handwriting on the envelope, she became pale and rushed to her room to read it. She returned hours later with a freshly sealed envelope. Lucy could see that it was addressed to Captain Anthony Carter, HMS Clyde.

However, in the spring of 1805, bad tidings arrived in London. A strong French squadron under Admiral Villeneuve’s command had escaped from Toulon, right under Admiral Nelson’s nose. It was obviously headed for the Caribbean and Nelson followed in hot pursuit.