Chapter 17

I sat alone at the schoolyard. There was no wind. There was no sound. As if the whole world had just gone silent and still. In my head, I pondered everything they told me. It was all such insanity, yet I knew they were not lies. After all, I have seen with my own eyes that horrible place and paid the price for it. Yet still, desperately, I want it all to be fake. For all of this to be nothing more than a bad dream, so I can wake up.

“Please ... please let it all be a nightmare.” I pleaded as I hesitantly pinched myself.

It hurts. And I’m still here. Sitting alone, underneath a starless sky in a world of silence. I did not wake up. I’m not asleep. All of this...

“Why did this happen to me?” I weakly mumbled as I pulled my legs up and buried my face in them. What am I supposed to do?

TAP TAP TAP

I turned my head towards the sudden sound of footsteps coming towards me.

“H-hey.” Hideyoshi nervously waved to me from a distance. He stopped in place the moment he saw my disgruntled face. “Umm ... I just want to check up on you to see how you’re doing.”

“I want to be alone.” I replied bitterly.

“R-right!”

He stood there in silence, keeping a distance, as he continued to stare at me.

“Well?” I cried out, irritated.

“Huh? Oh ... OH! Okay, I’ll get going then.” He jumped as he quickly turned to leave.

I let out a heavy sigh. I didn’t know if he had no tact or just plain stupid.

“Wait!” I called out to him, but he ignored me and kept walking. Picking up a small pebble from the ground, I tossed it at him.

“Ow!” He cried out in pain as it hit him right on head.

“Oh my god, I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry, I was only trying to get your attention.” I apologized as I ran to him.

“Really could have just tapped me on the shoulders.” He chuckled while rubbing the bump on his head.

We sat in silence. Occasionally he would look over at me, as if expecting me to say something.

“Staring at me like that, it’s embarrassing. Can you please stop?”

“Sorry, but I won’t know what you’ll be saying if I can’t read your lips.” He replied with a smile on his face.

“Read my lips?”

“I can’t hear anything. So, I had to pick up lip reading. It took some time but now as long as I can see a person’s face, I can understand what they’re saying.”

“Oh ... is, is it because of... , “

“All three of us lost something when we got infected.” He answered sadly. “I can’t hear anything. The Prez, he lost his nervous system and can’t taste, smell, or feel anything. While Mitsuhide-senpai, well ... he lost his physical body.”

“His entire physical body?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah. He’s a being of electronic data. He can only survive if he’s in a phone or some other outlet. While it makes him invaluable when it comes to many aspects of our club since he can transverse the electronic network, he’s basically trapped in a little world of his own. Unable to escape, unable to break away. It might be why he’s so aggravated all the time.” He explained.

“I see...” I felt a ping of guilt. Compared to me who just lost an arm, senpai was...

“Ah, but of course it doesn’t excuse him from being like that. Mitsuhide-senpai is an asshole, through and through.” He mused.

“Heh...” I caught myself laughing slightly. “You three seem to be pretty close. Have you known each other for long?”

“Hmm ... Yeah, pretty much. Not that I had much of a choice...”

“Huh?”

“I joined the club shortly after my “incident”. It was awful.”

I fixed my eyes on him, listening closely. “How so?” I asked.

He was quiet for a moment, before finally speaking again.

“When I first awoke, I found myself in a dark room completely devoid of all sounds. I did not know if it was me or the world that had gone silent. It was terrifying, to not even be able to hear my own heartbeats.”

“Then, when they tried to explain to me everything, I...” He voice suddenly got low as he continued to speak, “I was so angry, yet I did not know who to blame. At first, I directed it to the club. I thought it was all their fault that this happened to me. And I hated them. Every last one of them...”

He was shaking, as if he was struggling to hold himself together.

“But, that was a long time ago.” He suddenly relaxed and smiled at me.

“Do ... do you still feel that way?” I asked hesitantly. For a moment, he was silent as he stared off into the distance before turning back to me again.

“I really wish I could say no, but I would be lying.” He answered. “To tell the truth, every day is a living nightmare.”

I kept quiet as I heard his response.

“Ah ... I shouldn’t have said that. Umm, it’s not really that bad. At least in Artificial, we don’t have to worry about basic needs or anything like that. As Mitsuhide-senpai said; it is in a sense, paradise.” He struggled to laugh off what he just said. “Also, I do enjoy the time being with the club. Even if it does get frustrating at times, especially having to deal with senpai.”

“I see...” I responded meekly.

We once again sat in silence. I did not know what to say to him. For him to suddenly open up to me like that. I wonder to myself all that has happened to me. Compared to him and the others, it seems almost trivial. Yet...

“I’m sorry, about what happened. With what senpai said.” He suddenly apologized.

I looked up in surprise.

“Why are you apologizing?” I asked, a little perplexed. Hearing his apologies, I felt even more guilty.

“Huh? I mean ... I just, well... , I just think what he said was a bit too much and ... umm...” He was fidgeting as he tried to explain. “I really don’t want what happened to be your impression of us. Or for you to come to hate us.”

I can see on his face, nervousness. He did not seem to be lying nor seem to have any ulterior motives yet...

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“You guys, saved me, didn’t you? You knew nothing about me, yet you saved me. And even after I said those things to all of you, you still came after me and even apologized. Why?”

He remained silent. As if he did not know how to answer. I squeezed my legs tightly. He is no doubt just trying to be nice and trying to comfort me. I shouldn’t be poking at him like so. I shook my head as I mentally slapped myself.

“Umm ... I ... will you listen to me? I mean, will you read my lips? No, it’s fine even if you don’t at all.” I asked nervously, still tightly hugging my legs.

He stared at me attentively, not saying a word as he waited for me. It was a little embarrassing, but I took a deep breath and began to speak.

“I love reading. You see, when I was younger, I did not have many friends nor was I good with people. I was always by myself. Alone. And reading was the only way for me to ease my loneliness. Every day, I would just sit by myself with a book and read. Letting the time pass by me, in my own little world. That was until I met her.”

“It was during elementary school, a new girl transferred into our class in the middle of the semester. She was a pretty girl. Someone who, no doubt, would have fit in perfectly with the rest of the class. Yet, for some strange reason, the person she first came to approach was me. And I will never forget our first meeting.”

“Out of nowhere, she spoiled the ending of the book I was reading. She just outright told me how in the end; “The princess turned into a monster and devoured everybody! “. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten as mad as I did on that day.” I giggled.

“Eh?! W-what kind of story was that?” He asked in shocked.

“A children’s storybook.” I replied nonchalantly.

“C-children story... ? Umm ... okay... ?”

“Mmhmm ... it was then; I told her that I would never forgive her. It must have come as a shock to her, suddenly making an enemy right as she just transferred. That surprised look on her face, I still remember it now. It was so adorable.” I giggled. “And that was when she began to follow me around, always trying to apologize and making up for what she did.”

“Have you forgiven her?”

“Nope, and I never will.” I promptly replied with a sly grin. He nearly fell out of the bench in surprise.

“Isn’t that a little overboard for a little spoiler?”

“No it isn’t! Don’t you know that spoiling a book that someone is reading is the ultimate sin?! Not only do you take the joy out of finding out the ending, but you also take away the excitement of reading through the story! It is absolutely unforgivable!” I retorted; my cheeks puffed up.

“Wah! I understand! I’ll make a note to never bother anyone when they are engrossed in a story and never give spoilers!” He cried out as he reeled back in fear.

“Good! As long as we understand.”

“I understand you might be crazy...” I heard him mumble underneath his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! S-so, what happen then?”

“We became close friends soon after, and we still are. But because I never did forgive her for that little stunt, she still tries to find ways to earn my forgiveness. My favorite was when she one day came up to me and declared that she would become a novelist. “I’ve got it! I’ll write a story so amazing that you’ll finally forgive me once you read it!” was her rationale.”

“But it turns out she had absolutely no talent for writing whatsoever.” I laughed.

“Really?”

“Yep. Every story she wrote was horrendous. At one point, reading them started to physically hurt me, impossible as it might sound. It was the kind of writing that almost make me dread reading.”

“So finally, she came to me with this proposal. She said, “Ryuuko, it’s no use. I just can’t write anything. That’s why, I have an idea. How about if you become a writer instead?”. It came as a shock to me. I have always loved reading, but writing was something different. Such a thing never crossed my mind before, since I didn’t have the confidence to try. When she came to me with that proposal, I thought she had finally lost her mind. But she said something I would never forget;”

“Ryuuko, I’m already your best friend so I’ll become your best fan. I’ll be your biggest supporter so write as much as you can! Then once you become a world-famous novelist, you can finally forgive me because I’ll be the one who gave you such a great idea! It’s perfect!”

“It was the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I could not even believe such a thing came out of her mouth. It was just ... just so stupid. But those eyes of hers that stared into mine when she was trying to convince me, were sparkling. They were so beautiful, as she said it to me with such honesty. I was touched.”