I have finally gotten the edited Story back from the editor. It was my fault for the delay. He couldn't put my story together with my name and address. I goofed. I have reposted the edited first chapter and it should be up soon. I will post the final chapter later tonight. Please accept my apologies. I am sure you will find the edited chapter much easier to read. I am not good at punctuation.
Thank You TeNderLoin you have definitely made the story smoother and much easier to read.
This is a story that I wrote several years back. I always liked it and was curious if any of the readers felt it deserved to be further developed.
I would like to receive constructive comments, as I wish to grow as a writer.
The second half is to the editor and should be up in the next few days.