Fools in Paradise
Copyright© 2019 by UtIdArWa
One of the things about so called civilized folks, you know who I mean. The Broadway theater crowd, 3-piece suit lawyers and society debutants. put them into the primitive world and they are clueless. They don’t see, don’t hear, don’t smell. Suzy and I got right up on their lunch resting spot, and wasn’t seen by any of them. And I’m kinda sorry to say, even John missed seeing me. He spotted Suzy and gave her a high sign. But he missed me totally.
After lunch they hit the trail again. I found it interesting that as a group of people, looking for something in the woods, none of them spent any time looking around. They could have walked through a herd of wildebeest, and swore there hadn’t been anything there. Even when the evidence was all over their shoes.
Around 17:00 they arrived at the rendezvous. Suzy and I backed off and watched as they set up their camp. The plan was that Suzy and I would wait until sundown and then make a dramatic appearance. After seeing how their camp set up was, we backed off further, and got comfortable.
I know that a lot of GI’s dislike the MRI’s that they have in the field. And there had been a few that I felt would cause a riot if they were served in a prison. But there were others that were well worth it. And a lot of the civilian clones were just as good. We had a good supply of MRI’s in our kit, as well as what Suzy planned on using in her meals.
After our dinner, Suzy settled down for a nap. I kept watch and waited for the theatrical explosion we had planned for the group.
Shortly after sundown, Suzy and myself moved in closer to their camp. Not that we needed to. They had built up the usual rookie bonfire. I don’t know what it is about flatlanders, they feel the need, when in the wilderness to build forest fire sized campfires. I mean, come on folks, what are you planning on doing, Smelt some iron? All that is really needed is warmth. And something the kiddies and womenfolk can make smore’s on. Even something small will throw off enough light to see everything.
Earlier We had scouted the campsite and Suzy found where the grocery and garbage caches were. She wasn’t too happy with them. First order of business was to move them further out and put out some of Suzy’s Intrusion Alarms.
Suzy’s Intrusion Alarms? What the hell are those you ask? Well, they are pretty simple. Basically, you take a standard mouse or rat trap. And superglue a gun primer on it. Trap triggers, primer explodes and the noise lets you know something’s out there. Cost? Minimal. Weight? Minimal. How many could you carry? A hell of a lot. Suzy generally carries 20 or 30 in her chuck wagon. She uses them to let her know if something, usually a bear, is messing with the food or garbage caches. But they are also sensitive enough to get a mouse or rat, their original purpose.
She also uses a variation that uses glow sticks rather than primers. Works pretty good too. But those glow sticks can be damned expensive. And, as they get older, they don’t give off as much light. If you aren’t paying attention, you might miss them.
We had been watching the group for about an hour. The bottle had been passed around several times. These folks are in for a rude awakening.
“So, Wadsworth, where’s this hotshot tracker you’ve been bragging about.” This came from the older guy that I didn’t quite trust. It was his bottle that had been circulating. He was sitting there fondling a 35mm SLR camera.
This was just the opening I was looking for. I figured they were ready. Any more drinking and the gag wouldn’t work.
I kneed Margarite forward and slowly eased into the firelight.
At first, none of them noticed me. Using My NCO, Wake Up voice, “You need to start paying better attention Wadsworth.”
Immediately everyone froze. They all had looks of amazement, including John.