I Do the Next Best Thing - Cover

I Do the Next Best Thing

Copyright© 2012 by normist

Chapter 1: The arrival of Bob Johnson

The Robertsons, Herbert and Gloria settled into their cottage near the stables in the back yard. I'm sure that our horses will benefit from the increased attention they receive. Herbert Robertson lost his job as an ostler in town, when the livery stables lost their contract with the Pony Express. His wife Gloria is now also employed in the main house to give our housekeeper/den mother/resident guard, Becky, more time to educate our newly-acquired four-year old sorceress: Samantha.

I am Robert MacLeod, leading a mobile team of investigators of the New England Bureau of Investigation. By sheer chance I had been promoted earlier in the year to be an Assistant Director. This is nowhere near as grand as it sounds. The Director of NEBI is still another seven grades senior to me.

The team comprises me, my fiancee Sarah Bullock, and two other agents; Karen Stiles and John Buck. These two seemed be growing closer, if I was not mistaken.

Our young prodigy, Samantha Boon, had fallen into our laps almost literally. Sarah had helped her to float down from the top of a tree in Tom Thumb Park.

One day, late in September, I was in the office, reading a letter from the Head Office in DC. It was from the Deputy Director (Thaumaturgy), Goodman Sean Lochlainn III. He is the grandson of the forensic sorcerer to Lord Darcy. The letter read:

My dear Sir Robert,

You will shortly be receiving a horseless carriage, accompanied by a driver/mechanic. These devices are beginning to be seen in New England. The greatest restriction to their becoming widespread is their need for fuel. They use an oil, not unlike lamp oil, but needing more refinement. Until the supply of this oil becomes widespread, I'm afraid the horseless carriage will be a restricted novelty. It is somewhat of a chicken and egg situation.

However this horseless carriage will suit you and your team. Modifications of the spell that can keep a sorcerer's cauldron filled will suffice to maintain the supply of fuel. Suggested variations will come with the machines.

These carriages can almost keep up with the top speed of a horse, but are able to maintain that speed for far longer. They should prove themselves in the pursuit of perpetrators.

I fully expect that in the future, you will want to drive yourselves. The driver is qualified to teach you. I will be grateful when you permit him to return to Washington.

I remain your servant,

Sean Lochlainn III.

Before I could tell the other members of the team about our new equipment, Samantha rushed in shouting, "Uncle Robert? When can I go for a ride in the new carriage?"

Disconcerting!

"Hush little one! It's not here yet."

"Oh, but it is! They're getting it off the train now!"

"Well, as you know so much about it, why don't you go and tell the others all about it."

"Yes, Uncle Robert; but I don't know all about it."

She trotted off and I could hear her voice piping up as she tried to inform the others what was coming.

Shortly afterwards there was a clatter and a rattle coming up our drive. Obviously we wouldn't be able to approach any criminals in a stealthy manner. Looking out of the window, I saw the coachman descending from the carriage. I heard Samantha run to the front door.

She opened it and said, "Uncle Robert is 'specting you. Please come this way."

"Why, young lady, that's proper kind of yer."

"What is your name, please? So I can 'troduce you!"

"It's Bob Johnson, pretty lady."

"Thank you! Do you really think I'm pretty?"

"Of course I do!"

"Uncle Robert, this is Bob Johnson, who thinks I'm pretty!"

"Come in and sit down. What can I do for you?"

"'Tis the other way round, Sir. The boss sent me to deliver your horseless carriage. If'n you want, I'm to be your driver and mechanic."

"I see! How hard are they to drive?"

"Not hard at all. It's the learnin' that's hard. It's just like walking. Yer hands, eyes and feet all have to work as one. Ya see, the boss thought you and your people would want to drive it yerselves, so he sent me rather than just a driver."

"But we don't know how to drive."

"I can teach yer!"

"Right you are! Let's introduce you to the rest of the household and get you settled in. Then I'll come with you for a ride in the carriage. You've already met Samantha. I must warn you, however, she is a very powerful sorcereress." He looked at her with an air of disbelief on his face. "Watch your step around her." I said with a grin.

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