Copyright© 2015 by Lumpy
For the first time in days, I woke up all alone and decided I preferred to have company. There is something soothing about waking up cuddled next to another person. After breakfast, I reminded Margret I had football practice that afternoon, and that I would be home late. Then I headed over to Zoe's house for breakfast.
At some point, it became assumed that I would eat breakfast with them every day. I wasn't sure I knew when that happened. Breakfast went pretty fast and we headed off to school. This was the point when Zoe clued me into step three of her plan.
"Today, after practice, we are going to move to step three."
Mrs. Bell turned off the radio. I think she was as intrigued by where Zoe was going as I was.
"And what is step three?"
"You need to learn how to ask a girl on a date, and how to go on a date."
"Okay. So, wise master, how is this going to work."
"First, don't get a smart mouth." She did turn and give me a smile to acknowledge she found me funny. "At lunch, you are going to ask Tami out, for after practice, to go get dinner tonight. She will let you know if you did it right or not, give you pointers, and you will try again. Once she decides you have done a good enough job, she will agree to go out with you. After practice, the three of us will get a ride with Amanda's sister to Little Joe's."
Little Joe's was a neighborhood burger place. Not a greasy spoon, but only one step up from that. The burgers were pretty good, but their fries were mind blowing.
"Tami will be your date, and she and I will walk you through how to go on a date. Later, Amanda's sister will drop us off at Tami's house. She lives only a couple of doors down."
Mrs. Bell finally spoke up, "This is beyond weird."
"I have to agree with your mom. I am going to ask Tami out and go on a date with her while you give a running commentary."
"Pretty much. This is a trial date, not a real date. Tami is the only one not seeing anyone ... and she kindly volunteered."
"Okay. So where do I do the asking out?"
"At the lunch table. All the girls want to be able to give critiques, and maybe the guys will pick up a few pointers."
"You realize how incredibly embarrassing this is going to be for me, right?"
"Yeah, but I am okay with that."
Another smile as she turned back on the radio. I guess I had my instructions.
The day seemed to drag on towards lunch. I am not sure why I was nervous. I mean, I wasn't really asking her out and it wasn't a real date. Maybe because I knew this was going to be just about the most embarrassing thing I had ever done.
Finally, it was lunchtime. I picked Zoe up from her class, as usual, and we headed for the cafeteria.
"So, do I get lunch first?"
"No. One of the girls brought you something so you could focus. Just walk up to the table and give it your best shot."
The look on my face probably said volumes.
"Don't worry. It will be okay. Sure it will be embarrassing, but I will make sure you are well rewarded."
She pinched my butt and rushed ahead of me into the cafeteria, probably so she could get a good seat. I felt a little like one of the Christians headed into the Coliseum, but the promise of a reward from Zoe allowed me to steel myself and plunge forward.
I nervously walked up to the table. It was at that moment I started thinking about my hands. What was I supposed to do with my hands? Put them behind me. In front of me. In my pockets. Why have I never thought how hands work, before? Okay, now I have been standing here for like thirty seconds not saying anything, everyone staring at me. I opened my mouth but was interrupted.
Amanda gave me a rude buzzer sound. "Baaahhhhhhh. Sorry champ, no good."
"I didn't say anything yet."
Amanda smiled at me, "Yep, and that was the problem. It was a little creepy you just standing there. Go away, come back and try it again."
All the girls and some of the guys were laughing when I walked away. This time walked directly up and started speaking right away.
"Umm, Tami ... if you aren't busy tonight I was thinking we ... um..."
Another buzzer sound, this time from Rachel. "Baaahhhhhhh. No good. Go and try again."
"What did I do this time?"
"You were all over the place. Girls want confidence. Walk up and ask her out somewhere specific. Don't pause and hem and haw. Just ask. The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Who cares? There are other girls in the sea, Papi."
I walked away and came back again. Confidence. Be sure of myself. Yeah, right.
"Hey Tami. Do you want to go and get dinner at Little Joe's tonight after practice?"
Tami smiled at me, "Sure hot stuff."
Zoe threw her arms up in the air, "Ding Ding Ding. We have a winner."
I sat down and buried my head in my arms as the girls all laughed. I did notice none of the guys were laughing. They actually looked like they were paying attention to the critiques. This was a clear signal to let the mocking begin. Rachel started it.
"Hey, Papi, when you are done with Tami let me know. I can give you lessons on how to deal with a real woman."
Tami stuck her tongue out at Rachel and Jacob pulled Rachel back down.
"I think you have enough man Rachel."
"Hey, a girl likes to test her options."
Jacob was clearly used to her antics and rolled his eyes.
Zoe stayed quiet through all the teasing as each girl took a chance at messing with me, but did throw a protective arm around me. I guess she was marking her territory or something.
After school, I was out in the locker rooms where I was assigned pads and what not. I actually had to have Josh walk me through what went where. I have to say the first day of practice didn't go well. I managed to not drop the ball, but I never knew where any of the defenders were. I got tackled over and over. I missed a bunch of my routes.
The guys rode me pretty hard about my performance, but it was in good fun. The coach seemed okay and said 'good job, Grey' when he walked by me in the locker room. I guess he saw something I didn't understand, because I felt like a clown out there.
After showering and getting dressed, I met Zoe and Tami in front of the school. Both had changed into something other then what they wore to school. I guess they had planned ahead. They did look nice.
Zoe shook her head. "Tonight you are with Tami. Ignore me unless I give you pointers."
"Right. Sorry. You look nice, Tami."
She did in fact look nice in a fairly short skirt and button up shirt. Tami is taller than Zoe, about 5'6" or so and pretty petite. She has shoulder length straight brown hair and green eyes. Her chest is much larger then Zoe's, but isn't really huge either. She was wearing little studs in her ears. Like Zoe, she had very shapely legs. One might argue that she was pretty hot.
"Hey, Big man." So it seems she was planning on teasing me all night. "You sure did spend a lot of time on your backside at practice."
"I was just resting up for our big date. Have to have energy to sweep a sexy cheerleader off her feet."
I don't think she expected me to throw it back at her. Both girls laughed before Tami turned to Zoe.
"Ohh, he is going to be fun."
Zoe just grinned like an idiot.
Amanda's sister Megan drove up and hauled us off to Little Joe's. We got out and I started to walk to the door when I got the buzzer sound from Zoe. "Baaahhhhhhh"
This was getting old. Zoe and Megan were standing by the suburban and Tami was still inside the vehicle.
"You always open the door for your date," Zoe said pointing at the car door.
I slinked back to the car with my tail between my legs and opened the door for Tami, holding out my hand to her. She smiled at me and held my hand as we walked up to the restaurant. At least I catch on fast and opened the door for her and the other ladies. I was rewarded with more smiles.
At the hostess stand, I held up four fingers. "Four please"
At this, I got an elbow from Tami. Shit.
"Umm, Sorry. Two please."
Another elbow. What the hell?
"Three?" Okay, that was said as a question, but I was lost. I got a nod of the head, and said again, more confidently, "Three, please."
The hostess looked at me as if I was an idiot but led me, Tami and Zoe to a table. Megan broke off and sat at the bar/counter area where you could see them cooking the burgers. I sat down and got a buzzer sound from Zoe. The hostess took a step back, surprised.
"Pull your date's chair out, and push it in when she sits."
I got up, wondering who decided on all these rules. I did as instructed and seated Tami. I would have done that for Zoe, also, but she was already seated.
"So, umm. What are you thinking about getting?"
Tami looked at the menu. "Probably a salad."