The Enchanted Outhouse - Cover

The Enchanted Outhouse

Copyright© 2011 by TC Allen

Chapter 11: Christmas Eve at the Outhouse

Preparations for the trial began with a rush. Jason and his men had returned to New York. None of them were anxious to leave. Bill hired a few rent-a-cops. He and Posy took up residence in the park model home. It was larger than many houses. Posy got rid of the extra bunks. She and Rachel donated them to Deseret Industries, the Mormon charity. They went shopping for proper furniture. Bill went with them in case of trouble. For once there was none.

Of course, Ralph arranged more interviews and scheduled TV appearances. Because I was the hot celebrity of the day, Ralph got the big bucks for my spoken words. Every on camera interview brought more and bigger bucks. The bank account grew by leaps and bounds. I decided, Oh well, if people were so hungry for diversion they'd pay money to talk to me, then let them.

When things returned to normal, I'd be just that much more money ahead. I had no doubt it would all come to a messy end. I didn't want to get messy with it. All of the problems with our homegrown nuts and zealots taught me a lesson I never wanted to learn.

"Forrest, wake up, we have more trouble. It's Sarah. She's run off." I opened my eyes and tried to focus both my thoughts and my eyes.

"Forrest, please wake up. This is no time to sleep." Rachel was a nag, a beloved nag perhaps, but still a real nag.

"What about Sarah?"

"Here, read this." She handed me a printout of an email.

It began, "They took us all out of the group home and took us to another place and have us hid out. They are trying to make us say all sorts of bad things about you and Forrest." Uh oh, I came wide-awake. Sarah's e-mail really got my attention. "I'll sneak out tonight and get a ride to your house. This is real bad." It was signed, "Sarah."

"Hoo boy! We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Have Bill come in here."

Minutes later Bill came in and asked, "What's up?"

"Here, read this," I told him and handed him the printout.

He read it, read it again and said, "Get your lawyer here right now. I know how this works. By the time this goes to court they will have those kids so brainwashed they will swear you flew around the moon on a broomstick. I saw it happen other times." He looked tense and worried.

Rachel grabbed the nearest phone and called Abe Goldman. "You better get someone out here immediately. There's a new attempt to frame Forrest." She handed me the cordless and said, "Here, he wants to talk to you."

"I'm here," I said into the phone.

"I have to ask this right now and God help you if you lie to me. "Has there ever been anything even vaguely off color between you and any of those girls?" He sounded like the grim reaper incarnate.

"Good grief, no!" I yelled into the phone. "Never! Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Nothing, but I had to ask. Okay, what about the girl, Sarah? Why is she so brave? Does she really feel so close to you she would place herself in jeopardy and come to your defense? Or could this be a trap?"

"Look, Sarah was dying of leukemia. Before she was healed, she would not have lasted three more months. I cured her. She feels grateful, nothing else." I didn't like where these questions were going. It felt dirty to even answer them.

"Okay, I'll tell you something I don't tell most clients, I believe you. But we need to get hold of the girl, get her statement and obtain a restraining order to keep her away from the child welfare people. I'll personally be right out." He hung up.

Rachel brought in another email. The message was an address in South Salt Lake. I nodded and turned to Bill. "Have you got any friends on the police force you really trust, even yet?" I suddenly knew exactly what we to do.

"Well, yes. I'd trust most of the guys I worked with. We have very few politicians on the force. Our department is cleaner than any other department anywhere in the state. Don't think all the police departments around Salt Lake are like the few slime balls you ran into. They're mostly standup guys."

"Bill, I know where the girls are hidden. Sarah plans to try to slip away and join us. It may be a trap so what I want is someone to go get her and bring her here. It has to be someone who has complete deniability if this is a trap." I started to feel my hair-brained idea was a dud.

He smiled, "I know just the person to do this, my old partner, Bob Gilcrist. This is right up his alley. What's the address?"

I told him and he said, "Oops, they're in South Salt Lake. We'll need his cousin for this one. He's a patrolman on the South Salt Lake PD. He's a pretty good guy too."

He grinned, "Here's the story if it's a trap. I intercepted the email and didn't show you. I called my old partner and he called his cousin and they went first to check it out. Because of the way the email reads it could be interpreted to mean someone is breaking the law and he wanted to give it a look before he reported it. If it isn't a trap, we get the girl and turn her over to Mister Goldman and he petitions a higher court, possibly federal to protect her from the child protective agencies. I'll bet the girl's story somehow gets leaked to the press. I love it."

Abe only had to travel from Salt Lake City to my house. I was pleased we had a break come our way. "Those people are running scared. This is an act of sheer desperation. The ones involved know they are about to get their tickets punched if we continue as we are now. I want to get one yowly voiced ADA in my sights. I love to shoot clowns like her down." He actually thought this was fun and I was scared out of my wits.

"What about Sarah?" I asked. "I will not be party to her getting hurt."

"Not to worry, my lad," He told me expansively. "Because we fear for her welfare and do not know whom we can trust in the system, we shall hide her out at the Marriott under her own name. A child psychologist and her assistant will take care of things. They will be her constant escorts. We need to find the girl's mother and see if we can induce her to appoint me her guardian ad litem. But first we get the girl." Abruptly Abe turned hurried out the door to the waiting limo to return to whatever he was doing in Salt Lake City. It seemed everyone had a limousine but me.

Rachel came from my office and laid a sheaf of papers in my lap. "Read these and tell me which ones you want to do further action on and which ones to toss. The first page was a list of the women who proposed to me in the past three days. "Answer these and tell them thank you for the kind offer but my soon to be wife is selfish and refuses to share." She took the page from me and wadded it up. She tossed the paper ball into the wastebasket and I looked at the second page. They were all death threats. "File this one with the first sheet and tell Bill to go armed."

I glance at the next one and told her sadly, "Toss this one too." It was a list of people begging to be cured of everything from mood disorders to cancer.

"Why, Forrest?" Rachel was very puzzled.

"Sweetheart, I don't know why. It feels wrong for me to try to cure all ailments. I have to take things as they come. I have an idea for a tour later on. But right now all I can do is try to face our problems here." She nodded unhappy agreement and waited for the next page. "Toss 'em all," I told her.

"Why? There might be something important." Rachel never had a phone call she didn't like nor a letter she wouldn't respond to. She couldn't understand my reluctance to waste my time on nonsense.

"You take care of them then, Hon. Use your own judgment." I closed my eyes and went to sleep. Sleep was a way to not cope with any more trouble.

When the front door opened I woke up; it was dark outside. Bill brought Sarah in. I almost didn't recognize her she had changed so much. Her hair was mussed up and her clothes were bedraggled. I saw her physical condition had improved greatly. She was no longer pale and pale looking. I knew deep inside she was cured.

"You were right, it was a trap," Bill told me. He laughed and looked back at the door. The rest of the children came in, including Nancy. "These kids were already outside when we came up to the house. While Bob's cousin banged on the front door the kids sneaked out from behind the house and into my van. You talk about a mess. We'll take them over to Posy's cousin's house for right now. But they wanted to say hi to you first."

Nancy came over and hugged me and grinned her clown grin at me. Then they all trooped outside and I heard two cars drive off. I barely got settled back down when the front door was kicked in and a wild-eyed Brenda Hogben screeched at me, "Where are they? Where are those stinking kids? I want to know right now" The two who beat me up came toward me. The look in their eyes said they meant to finish the job.

"Show me your warrant," I told her calmly.

"I don't need no stinkin' warrant" she screeched at me again. "I want those stinkin' kids"

Rachel stepped out of my office with a police air taser. She looked mad enough to use it. "Get out of here right now," she ordered in a low, deadly voice.

"Here, gimme that before you get hurt," one of the two rogue cops said in a nasty voice. He lunged at her and received fifty thousand volts into his chest when she pulled the trigger. He dropped and she popped the gun open and slapped a second charge in. The other intruder had no wish to challenge her resolve. He dropped to the floor behind Brenda Hogben and fumbled for his gun. Rachel shot and caught the assistant district attorney in the stomach. She fell in a heap on the cop as he tried to draw his gun.

Rachel placed a third charge in the taser and advanced till she had a clear shot and pulled the trigger again. "We have to get you out of here before they come to. I used up all the ammunition Jason gave me for it. I'm scared"

"Call the sheriff's department and tell them there are two cops and an assistant DA down in our living room. But first get their guns."

"What do I do with them?" she asked me.

"Bring them here so I can check the safeties. I'll hold one and you hold the other. You sit on the sofa and I'll lay down on the floor in order to aim and shoot at them easier if I have to."

We waited quietly about five minutes before the first began to stir. He looked wildly around and started toward me. "Stop," I said, "Or I'll shoot." He didn't stop so I aimed at his chest and shot his big toe instead. He howled and dropped to the floor. "Join your friends over there," I told him.

Bill came flying into the house, through the ruined door. "Are you all right?" he yelled. He saw the wounded one crawl toward his friends. The other cop started to stir. Bill took the gun from Rachel and held it very steady. "You stay on the floor and don't move and you get to live." He sounded deadly. One look at his face told me this was not a bluff.

"Posy and I just drove up when I heard that shot." All contrite he added, "I should have stayed here."

Brenda Hogben slowly sat up and asked, "What happened?"

"I tasered you," Rachel informed her. You behave or I'll rip your hair out by its roots." I knew for sure Rachel wasn't kidding.

"Call the sheriff's department and hand me the phone," Bill ordered. "You three are under arrest for breaking and entering, assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder and conspiracy to commit several felonies, including suborning potential witnesses."

"You can't keep me, I'm walking out of here right now." Brenda started toward the door Rachel grabbed her by the hair and dragged her across the floor.

Ralph ran in the front door. He looked at Rachel as she dragged the screeching woman across the floor. Rachel dropped her at the feet of her friends. "What happened here, World War Three?" he asked.

"The bad guys came back here again and got more than they bargained for," I answered. "Rachel put all three down with a stun gun. She let me hold one of their revolvers."

"Forrest! How can you joke about this? We were in danger. It's no laughing matter." Rachel started to become female on me all at once. But I knew one thing right then and there, no matter the crises, she would not fold and whimper the way many men I have known would.

"Sweetheart," I told her, "it's better to joke than to whine. And you may quote me."

"You are hopeless." She shook her head and did a very uncharacteristic thing – well uncharacteristic for her. She brewed me a pot of coffee. The Word of Wisdom in the Mormon Church does not approve of coffee and by extension, anything else with caffeine in it, including tea and cola drinks. Needless to say, more than a few church members imbibed in a Coke or a Pepsi from time to time. She brought me a cup of my Blue Mountain Jamaican fifty dollar a pound coffee and it was horrible. This proves non-coffee drinkers should never brew coffee. It was so weak I could see the bottom of the cup. I shuddered, thanked her and drank the weak watery stuff.

Bill got my tools and made temporary repairs on the door. It wouldn't lock, but at least it would stay shut. "I'll fix it better tomorrow," he told me.

"Don't bother," I answered, "Rachel will call the hardware store to send someone out with a new door and frame. I want a steel door installed. That one give way too easily." I heard a car drive up and a car door slam shut.

"It's the sheriff himself," Bill said wonderingly. "This is a surprise." He stepped back to let him in.

The sheriff was a big, beefy man who had been in office for more than one term, moved as if he expected to be there many more. He was all cop from the way he walked to his tone of voice. "You seem to be the center of controversy, Mister Eden," he told me. "In all the time you have lived here there has been nary a peep out of you, then all at once you seem to be in the center of a hurricane. I do not like the tranquility of my county disturbed."

Rachel butted in before I could answer. "Well, you just keep all the lowlife trash out of your county and you won't have the tranquility of your county disturbed." Pit bulls could take lessons from her when she gets worked up the way she was right then.

The sheriff rocked back on his heels and blinked as my little blond spitfire glared at him, hands on hips. "Where were you when that female ostrich tried to have Forrest kidnapped? Didn't you know she was coming out here? Then when those two police from Salt Lake City beat my Forrest up, you were nowhere around. There will not be any tranquility in your county until people begin to leave us alone."

He looked at her with a grim smile on his face. "Well, I am sorry this is just not your lucky day." He turned to me and said, "Forrest Eden, I have a warrant for your arrest. The charge is practicing medicine without a license."

Two deputies came in and headed my direction. Bill spoke up, "Hold on, this man stays here until an ambulance is dispatched to take him to the hospital. He can't go through the regular booking process, not in his condition."

"Back off, Haines. I did not come to arrest him. What would be the use? Right now with so many lawsuits started already by this man's lawyers I do not care to add fuel to the fire. Be in Superior Court at the time indicated in the warrant. Your lawyers know the drill. Give them this. He tossed the warrant for my arrest in my lap.

The source of this story is Finestories

To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account (Why register?)

Get No-Registration Temporary Access*

* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.

Close