Gone Fishin' - Cover

Gone Fishin'

Copyright© 2010 by Pedant

Chapter 1

Christmas had passed. Weena was back at the hospital and I was at home, trying to solve the conflicting demands of home, the CSIRO, the University of Western Australia, and the Wine Industry Association of Western Australia. The last was really worried about phylloxera infestation. A survey had (apparently) claimed that 95% of the Margaret River vineyards were "vulnerable." I decided that I'd call my brother before responding to their plea.

Then there were Charlie and Maddy, who wanted to visit towards the end of January, and Weena's father, who would be retiring from the nickel mine in the spring.

I sighed. Ever since that fatal flight to Laverton, everything had become ever more complicated. Of course, I wouldn't surrender those complications. Least of all Weena, her job, and her father. Or the couple and their holdings in the Petermann. Sigh. Life was complex.

4:30. I pushed the appropriate buttons. "Hi, Sandra. No, nothing's wrong. Are you okay? And the kids? Good. I need to talk to David. Is he around? Great. Take care ... Hi, David. Yes, we're fine. I need some of your knowledge. The Wine Industry Association of Western Australia wants me to consult. Yes. There's some report about phylloxera that's got their knickers in a twist. No, I've not seen it, but it apparently claims that 95% of Margaret River's vulnerable ... Really? That bad? Oh. High end plonk, huh? Charge them? I don't know if I'm allowed to. What did you pay the bloke you told me about last October? $5000 plus expenses! For one talk? Sounds more like a politician. I guess I'd best read up on the nasty creatures. No! you nitwit, the insects, not the politicians! Right. Be good. Kiss the tribe for Unk."

Phylloxera is a pest of commercial grapevines worldwide, originally native to eastern North America. These tiny, pale yellow sap-sucking insects, related to aphids, feed on the roots of grapevines. In Vitis vinifera, the resulting deformations ("nodosities" and "tuberosities") and secondary fungal infections can girdle roots, gradually cutting off the flow of nutrients and water to the vine. Nymphs also form protective galls on the undersides of grapevine leaves and overwinter under the bark or on the vine roots...

The phone rang. "Hollister. Hey, Maddy! How are you guys? We were just talking about you. What are your plans? Ours? I don't know. Weena just tells me where to go and how to dress and I do it. I know when I'm well off. No, she's not here yet. Should be soon, unless the hospital's overrun or there's a traffic snarl. Why don't I have her call you? Right. Is Charlie there? Oh. Well, tell him hello when he gets back from playing with those bulls! Yeah. I'm laughing with you. Weena'll call later. Bye."

I contemplated getting myself a beer but thought better of it. I wondered whether I had a reference on Sternorrhyncha at home. Wheeler was in the office. But Homoptera, which is what the suborder of the Hemiptera which contains the aphids, whiteflies, and scale insects, used to be called, is a big one. There might not be anything on phylloxera there. Maybe he should just browse the Web.

He heard Weena's brakes in the driveway and a few moments later, she was inside.

"Hi. I've got to get out of this uniform!"

"Need help?"

"Now there's an idea."

They were upstairs and undressed in a hurry. Weena looked in the mirror.

"Do you think I'm getting fat?"

"What?"

"Am I getting fat?"

"'Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night'."

"I still love it when you quote Shakespeare!"


I told Weena that Maddy had called and that she should call back. I also suggested that we drive out to the beach for dinner, rather than cooking. She was more than amenable, and I went to the computer to see whether I could find anything interesting where phylloxera was concerned. (It turned out that there was a bloke at CSIRO near Adelaide who'd written about them. I'd get hold of his stuff tomorrow.)

I could hear Weena chatting with Maddy. I thought about whether she's want to go west or south. Probably south to Fremantle. We could have seafood at the Atrium in the Esplanade.

"They want to come on the fourth, look at Perth over the weekend and go to the Consulate on the Monday. Then it'll be open, depending on what the Consul says."

"Okay."

"I'll take the Monday off and tell the hospital I won't be available for the weekend."

"No problem. Do we have any idea when your dad might be here?"

"I think he's eligible for retirement in March. So I'd guess it'll be April."

"Sounds reasonable. Scarborough or Fremantle?"

"Ooh. Fremantle. I hate places where they charge a fortune for parking."

We had a lovely dinner and a bottle of "Zeepaard."

[Frans Thijsz' ship was 't Gulden Zeepaardt (The Golden Seahorse) it was his 1626-28 voyage that defined most of the southern coast of Australia. Thijsz also discovered the islands of the Nuyts Archipelago where Swift placed Lilliput and Blefuscu a century later.]


I phoned Canberra in the morning, prior to leaving for the uni. I got Janice and after the usual chit-chat, asked about earning consulting fees. "Just don't neglect us or the University." "Really?" "Yep. But don't overdo it for a year or two." I laughed and told her about the Wine Industry. "Make sure you get cash and a coupla cases of their good stuff!" "Right. Thanks. And say hello to the boss."

I got into my "official" Rover and drove to the uni. There were plenty of spaces, as classes wouldn't resume for over four more weeks. But there were lots of things to do: sorting the message slips directly into the trash went quickly, trying to work out what do do with my specimens was a much bigger problem: the boxes were deeper than the shelving. I started shelving the rest of the books. Another problem – what order? I decided to stick with old Linnaeus. Botany took up only part of a shelf. Then I got bogged down. I had so little on protista on the one end and on chordata on the other, that my brave attempt was bound to fail. So I just unpacked boxes onto a second set of shelves. Maybe someday a band of idle elves would put them into neat order. Or even a student assistant.

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