Given reader's responses, and the scores for each chapters, I've decided to make some changes to "The Lad Who Poked the Devil in the Eye". Previously, I'd been unable to reorganize the story because I was trying to shift the action scenes--which led to confusion. Instead, I've decided to move a chapter where Otis, the main character, deals with the dilemma he finds himself in (chapter 4). By moving that chapter to the start of the story, and deleting several segments from a few chapters, I think I've got a stronger story.
I was also hoping to make Otis less obnoxious, but realized I'd already done that just before I published it. I'd removed the scenes with him arguing with himself, and there was only one of those left--where I established it as a personal trait. I also removed his various "we", "us" and "you" comments when referring to himself.
Thanks for your help in perfecting the story!
In a related note, I've just published my next book, "Singularity" on both Amazon and Createspace. I've decided to try using Amazon's KDP Select program, which means I won't be able to post it to the site for another three months. Hopefully, the current story will take up a couple months of that time. I'll add the links to my website www.vincentberg.com in the morning, as well as some sample chapters.